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Molests Your Poodle
Free Republic original content | 5/24/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz

My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.

How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.

Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.

Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.

And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."

Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.

So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".

And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".


TOPICS: FReeper Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: vanity
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1 posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:16 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz

Sorry, that name has been taken...........

2 posted on 05/24/2012 6:51:00 AM PDT by Red Badger (Think logically. Act normally.................)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..
The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List

94 Satisfied Customers!™

3 posted on 05/24/2012 6:51:10 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

Please add me!............


4 posted on 05/24/2012 6:53:33 AM PDT by Red Badger (Think logically. Act normally.................)
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To: Lazamataz

5 posted on 05/24/2012 6:54:19 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: Lazamataz

I can sum up this entire article in one sentence.

“Fake, but accurate.”


6 posted on 05/24/2012 6:54:41 AM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to the tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: Jim Robinson; bray; Jean S; JohnHuang2; kristinn

I am absolutely prolific these days. Hope you like this latest one. :)


7 posted on 05/24/2012 6:55:02 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz
Free Republic original content
I like it. Better than "vanity".
8 posted on 05/24/2012 6:55:14 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: Lazamataz

I figured your Native name would be “He Hits It”.


9 posted on 05/24/2012 6:55:41 AM PDT by PzLdr ("The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am" - Darth Vader)
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To: Lazamataz

We need these threads every so often...

10 posted on 05/24/2012 6:57:07 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: Lazamataz
I am 1/411 Apache. My name is Princess Wannaskinallliberals. Nice to meet ya.
11 posted on 05/24/2012 6:58:49 AM PDT by liberalh8ter (If Barack has a memory like a steel trap, why can't he remember what the Constitution says?)
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To: samtheman
"Free Republic original content" -- I like it. Better than "vanity".

Actually, there are differences these days. There's a category meant for Free Republic editorial and news work, called FreeperEd in the tags portion of a new post.

It's meant for decent quality editorial work. We are all hoping that FR can eventually become a source of original content in news reporting and/or editorial work that will match such places as Red State or Fox News or any of the myriad of other sites.

It's an initiative, hopefully to quality. Vanities will still be out there, but hopefully only good work will stay in FreeperEd.

12 posted on 05/24/2012 6:59:03 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

My Cherokee name means:

“Democrats are the enemies of freedom”

Still a satisfied customer.


13 posted on 05/24/2012 7:00:32 AM PDT by exit82 (Democrats are the enemies of freedom. Be Andrew Breitbart.)
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To: Red Badger
Please add me!...........

95 Satisfied Customers!™

14 posted on 05/24/2012 7:01:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz
Laz, you dog!
15 posted on 05/24/2012 7:02:15 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Join the Democrats, it's not Fascism when WE do it and the law is what WE say it is.)
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To: Lazamataz; shibumi
hopefully only good work will stay in FreeperEd.

Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. "SpecialEd".

16 posted on 05/24/2012 7:04:19 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: humblegunner
Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. "SpecialEd".

LOL! Nice!

17 posted on 05/24/2012 7:05:32 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz
Is there really a “The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing” Ping List? If so, I'd like to join unless the fees are too high.

Your ability to disturbingly “bring it” is exquisite and admirable.

18 posted on 05/24/2012 7:09:11 AM PDT by hummingbird (Breitbart and Spartacus are here and there and everywhere.)
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To: Lazamataz
Watch out Laz
 
 
 
 
They're on to you.

19 posted on 05/24/2012 7:09:22 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS. This Means Liberals and (L)libertarians! Same Thing. NO LIBS!!)
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To: Lazamataz

I never thought that we ALL could be Cherokees. Hmmm.... I do like soft leather bedroom slippers. Sort of like moccasins?


20 posted on 05/24/2012 7:09:34 AM PDT by momtothree
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