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Molests Your Poodle
Free Republic original content | 5/24/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz

My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.

How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.

Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.

Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.

When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.

And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."

Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.

So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".

And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".


TOPICS: FReeper Editorial; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: vanity
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To: Lazamataz

Good point. And your piece (as always) is well-written.


21 posted on 05/24/2012 7:10:17 AM PDT by samtheman
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To: hummingbird

96 Satisfied Customers!™


22 posted on 05/24/2012 7:10:43 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz

Several months ago I made the decision to self-identify as a minority. It’s been so much fun, I may add a second minority.


23 posted on 05/24/2012 7:11:05 AM PDT by Lady Lucky (Non-compliant, not govt-issued, and not voting for Romney.)
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To: Lazamataz

so laz did you ever join the facebook political group Knuckle Dragging Conservative yet? it’s lonely in there!


24 posted on 05/24/2012 7:14:07 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Let me ABOs run loose Lou, let me ABOs run loose! They are of much use Lou, so let me ABOs run loose)
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To: Lazamataz
"Your Native American Name Is: Ahanu Howahkah"

"Your name means: Laughing One of the Mysterious Voice "

First of all the many online quizzes I've taken over the years that actually got it right.


25 posted on 05/24/2012 7:14:29 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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To: humblegunner; Lazamataz; shibumi
Material lacking in quality will be moved to a different category.. "SpecialEd".

A little input from the boy names Sioux.

26 posted on 05/24/2012 7:16:00 AM PDT by Eaker (When somebody hands you your arse, don't give it back saying "This needs a little more tenderizing.")
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To: Lazamataz; humblegunner; Salamander; TheOldLady
Poodle Bites, Poodle Chewses (Not a speck of cereal!)
27 posted on 05/24/2012 7:16:22 AM PDT by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: Lazamataz

A Cherokee boy asked his father.

“Father, how did I get my name”

The father replied “Cherokee men name their sons after the first thing we see when they are born”

“Why do you ask? Two Dogs %ucking”.


28 posted on 05/24/2012 7:16:59 AM PDT by ImJustAnotherOkie (zerogottago)
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To: P.O.E.

“... many online quizzes...”

That was fun. My name is Olathe Yepe... means Beautiful Snow Woman. I kinda like it!!


29 posted on 05/24/2012 7:18:33 AM PDT by momtothree
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To: momtothree; P.O.E.
Wow, I took the quiz. I am .. no joke... Hitite Yapyip, meaning Molests Your Poodle.

How cool was that.

30 posted on 05/24/2012 7:22:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: shibumi

Nothin’ but the best for my dog!


31 posted on 05/24/2012 7:25:35 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (To criticize the government is to speak blasphemy against a liberal's god.)
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To: Lazamataz
Not enuf details. What form should these screeds take?


32 posted on 05/24/2012 7:27:32 AM PDT by Daffynition (Our forefathers would be shooting by now.)
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To: Lazamataz
Please Add me to your ping list.

The web site said My name was: Your Native American Name Is: Wynono Howahkah

Your name means: Firstborn One of the Mysterious Voice

But I prefer "Runs with Beer"

33 posted on 05/24/2012 7:28:01 AM PDT by verga (Party like it is 1773)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL


34 posted on 05/24/2012 7:28:07 AM PDT by RightGeek (FUBO and the donkey you rode in on)
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To: verga
97 Satisfied Customers!™
35 posted on 05/24/2012 7:30:45 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The so-called 'mainstream' media has gone from "biased" straight to "utterly surreal".)
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To: Lazamataz
Ward Churchill, another faux Indian, is called “Walking Eagle” by the tribe he claims...it's because he's so full of sh*t he can't fly.
36 posted on 05/24/2012 7:34:00 AM PDT by twister881
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To: Red Badger

Man, I never even had a chance to say that first.
Stop taking all the good lines.


37 posted on 05/24/2012 7:38:28 AM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: Lazamataz

I’ve polled the two standard poodles in my house and the response was unanimous:

“He tries to hit it and we take his face off.”

And then they resumed napping.


38 posted on 05/24/2012 7:39:47 AM PDT by nodumbblonde ("The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity." - Ayn Rand)
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To: Lazamataz
Well, it is a dog-eat-dog world, after all.

Unless you're Barack Obama, that is. Heh. I heard his Indian name is "Dances With Moonbats", or maybe that was Liz Warren.

39 posted on 05/24/2012 7:40:12 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: Lazamataz

You’re a hoot, Laz!! Thank you for making me laugh today!!


40 posted on 05/24/2012 7:40:41 AM PDT by momtothree
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