Police Blotter: Woman Reports Assault ( Oh this one is a doozy!)

Grosse Pointe Patch ^ | 6-24-2011 | Sara Eaton Martin

[Mountain Bike Vomit Carnage]

Police Blotter: Woman Reports Assault

The following information was gathered from the public safety departments of the Grosse Pointes. Arrests do not indicate conviction.

A 57-year-old Grosse Pointe Farms woman reported being assaulted by a man she previously had sex with after he returned to her house on another day asking to have sex again.

The woman reported the assault June 21 about 11:40 p.m., about half an hour after her husband found out about the assault. Detectives took pictures of the woman's arms, chest, legs and back.

The assault happened days earlier. The woman told police she had sex with the man while he was doing work at her house and he returned several days later requesting to have sex again but she declined and he assaulted her.

The woman did not have the name of the man or much identifying information for police, according to a report.

[Slings and Arrows]

What's so newsworthy about a contractor ****ing a client?

[TheOldLady]

Or a nameless handyman, for that matter.

[Eaker]

The cops are too stupid to see through a story like that?

Really?

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Don’t they write cheap romance novels about this crap?

No. But guys write letters to Penthouse about this crap.

[Slings and Arrows]

Ah, the joy of...real estate.

[dixiechick2000]

And, that she reported it only AFTER her husband found out about it.

[golux]

I’m gonna tell the world, you’re a dirty little girl
Someone grab that bitch by the ears
Rub her down scrub her back
And turn her inside out
`Cause I bet she hasn’t had a bath in years

Here’s my own belief about all the dirty girls
That you have to clean the oyster to find the pearl
And like rags that belong to you I belong to myself
So don’t show up around here till your social worker’s helped...

(Elton John, Dirty Little Girl)

[Mr. Silverback]

I’m certainly not an expert on swingers, but my impression is that swingers have rules governing how this sort of thing goes precisely so that your spuse isn’t boinking random strangers and bringing an STD epidemic back home.

A lot of couples are able to work things out after adultery, but “I got to close to someone at work” or “He was an old flame from high school” is on a different planet entirely than “He came over to fix the dryer and I boinked him without even checking his name tag.”

[Mr. Silverback]

Good Lord...words fail me.

[Mr. Silverback]

Severe burns have a massive effect on the body and cause all sorts of systematic problems. A guy I know was burned in a Humvee accident in Iraq and he was not only on life support and in an induced coma for weeks, at one point the only way they could protect his intestines from the swelling of his abdominal muscles was to place most of his bowel outside his body under irrigated bandages.

Some burn victims can't breathe properly because of the swelling and restriction of the burned skin interfering with the mechanical process of getting the air in and out.

[Mr. Silverback]

Unlikely. they probably know exactly what went on, but the newspaper has to report what’s in the police report, and until the cops come up with more evidence what’s in their records is what the wife and her dear hubby told them.

[Darksheare]

And she probably has it in her head that it wasn’t really sex and that it wasn’t cheating.

[derllak]

Yeah, you’re probably right, Darks.

It’s called the “Slick Willy” defense.

[Eaker]

If it is a lie why wouldn’t the wife just say she was mugged instead of telling the world she is a gutter slut?

[SaraJohnson]

Swingers do have rules but the nature of the beast is not conducive to exercising the self control to follow those rules.

[Mr. Silverback]

The husband knows something went on, that it was sexual and that it happened in his house. To answer your question with a question, if she was raped, why would she have reported it only after her husband found out?

This story is too fishy.

[Mr. Silverback]

True.

[Eaker]

Smart money is that the husband is the innocent party and that he should run, not walk from his “wife”.

[Mr. Silverback]

I agree 100%. I’m not accusing the husband of anything.

[Darren McCarty]

This is a bad TV movie waiting to happen.

Grosse Pointe Farms. Probably a big house and money. Married woman. Didn't know the guy's name (riiiight).