Happy Valentine's Day Free Republic!
Posted on 02/14/2011 10:20:47 AM PST by Libloather
Should Black People Walk Away from Valentine's Day Spending?
By Boyce Watkins, PhD on Feb 14th 2011 10:56AM
Most men know how expensive Valentine's Day can get. Someone decided that spending money is somehow a translation to showing love, which is an interesting, misguided relationship philosophy. Valentine's Day is one of the most over-hyped holidays known to man, with advertising starting almost right after Christmas. Any man in a serious relationship is well-aware of the pending doom of his social life if he doesn't flex his wallet at least a little bit on that special day.
According to the National Federation's 2010 Valentine's Day Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey, over $14 billion is spent on Valentine's Day-related purchases. This is roughly $103 for every single man, woman and child in America. Yes, the hype has real economic consequences.
What's even crazier is that 2010 doesn't even set a record. In 2008, $17 billion was spent on the holiday. (Perhaps all those 'Oprah Winfrey' shows about saving money kicked in and people started to show their love in ways that went beyond spending money.) These numbers make me wonder why I have to prove my love for others by busting my bank account on a holiday created by someone else.
The challenge of Valentine's Day can be especially daunting for African American men, who struggle with unemployment rates approaching 20 percent. Black family wealth is, according to recent estimates, as low as one-fiftieth that of white families, and millions of African Americans are facing bankruptcy, foreclosure and other forms of economic devastation. The struggle to find economic resources makes it difficult for men to become providers, and adds to the stress of black families that are already struggling to stay together. It also makes it difficult for single men to date or show affection to the woman in whom they may be interested, primarily because economic stability is highly correlated with the perception of an individual's manhood. Valentine's Day can only make the embarrassment that much worse for men who are trying to survive in an economy where they have the worst unemployment and educational levels in the nation.
My belief? African Americans may want to consider letting go of Valentine's Day, at least the over-commercialized part of it. For women, I suggest that you make a deal with your man: tell him that you don't want him to spend very much money on you -- but what he doesn't spend in money, he must overcompensate for with time and affection. Your man will appreciate you letting him off the hook and he will hopefully return the favor by giving you a level of loyalty he wouldn't be willing to give to anyone else. Being a true partner in love means helping your partner become stronger, not becoming yet another drain on their resources. By getting away from models of romantic interaction that become nothing more than economic exchanges, millions of members of the black community can find everlasting love.
...cause if there is anything destroying black families/relationships...it’s Valentine’s Day. (rolling eyes)
So is men being focused on appearance.
Doesn’t make either the female or male focus any less shallow.
We should be able to move past evolutionary imperatives. Seems to me that’s one reason we went to all the trouble to evolve into thinking beings. So we wouldn’t operate just on instinct.
Whitey’s fault. Makin the brothers send candy and flowers to all they baby mamas.
“I don’t cooperate with the Valentine Day scam”
What’s the scam? I mean, no one forces you to buy anything or rips you off if you do. It is simply a made up holiday to sell stuff, but it has become a tradition.
Yep, valentine’s day is MUCH worse than paying teenage girls to have bastard babies.
Deep thoughts to ponder... ; D
Dear author, how does one know which ethnicities should participate in commercial Valentines Day and which shouldn’t? Please list the same 37 ethnicities as described in the California census, with how we should celebrate Valentine’s Day beside each fractioned ethnicity. Otherwise it will be too confusing.
If you like, you can also describe the celebration style per swatch of skin colors, using at least 20 shades of beige and brown, please.
Since this article divides people between WHITE and BLACK. why isn’t it considered racist? oh, wait a minute.... the author....
We’ll get each other cards, and I might get some flowers.
Simple is nice.”
I agree. My wife love plants and cut flowers just die, so I got her a bonsai gardenia plant and we will go out to our favorite restaurant on Thursday.
Not all of us. Hubby and I can afford to do an over-commercialized Valentine’s Day. But neither of us has the time or patience to think up more stuff we want or need for the other to buy us. So we took the pressure off by agreeing to not exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day. We don’t even go out to dinner, hate crowds. We focus on our relationship, instead.
We can't either, but restaurants expect that and usually run specials on the weekend immediately prior or afterward (depending on the day).
Of course, the easiest thing to do is avoid the Valentine's Day rush altogether and declare a nearby day "the" day.
Neat.
My all time hero, Al Bundy!
Men! ...ya know what I'm talking about here.
Happy Valentine's Day Free Republic!
Skin color notwithstanding, I’m not fond of Hallmark Holidays!
And ya know dem baby mamas be talking at each other!
How you expect a brother to keep all dem babay momma happy on what little Obamah stash they be gettting.
Sweetheart, you're not part of the solution.
And unwed motherhood was a hell of lot lower than 70%.
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