Posted on 11/22/2010 1:03:09 PM PST by MindBender26
The TSA'S new slogan contest
These have been picked as finalists in the contest to find the new TSA Transportation Safety Administration) Slogan. Feel free to send your entry
1. You won't see London, won't see France, unless we see your underpants.
2. Grope discounts available.
3. If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first.
4. Only we know if Lady Gaga is really a lady.
5. Don't worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
6. Throw a few back at the airport bar and you won't even notice.
7. Wanna fly? Drop yours.
8. We've handled more balls than Barney Frank
9. We are now free to move about your pants
10. We rub you our way, so you can be on your way.
11. It's not a grope. It's a freedom pat.
12. When there's any doubt, you must whip it out.
13. TSA: Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
14. You were a virgin.
15. We handle more packages than the USPS
16. The TSA isn't silly, we just want to inspect your willy
17. Stroke of the hand, now the law of the land
18. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem
19. Let your fingers do the Walking
20. Cough, please
21. Reach out and touch someone
22. Can you feel me now?
23. When we're done with you, you'll need a cigarette.
Stop ‘em, drop ‘em and give ‘em plenty.
She
T..s
S..tch
A.s
He
Tatts
S....ng
Abs
‘It’
Tranny
Screaming
Act
“you don’t professionalize until you federalize”- Tom Daschle
what Dash-hole really meant is “you don’t sodomize until you unionize”.
Your nuts are the bomb.
TSA: Searching everyone’s ass so Mohammad won’t sue ours.
Our speculums are heated.
TSA - See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me
You’re In Good Hands With TSA
I see a Dilbert cartoon in the near future.
Groped guy should ask in a loud voice:
“Do you like Gladiator movies”?
“Have you ever been to a Turkish bathhouse”?
“Will you really call me tomorrow?”
“Do you come here often?”
“Yes, yes, just like that”!
“This is my first, please be gentle.”
“What’s your sign, I’m a Scorpio?”
Those questions are not against the law to ask and if asked loudly, you might be able to get the crowd to respond. LOL
My wife says it’s a good thing that I don’t fly but once every couple of years... I am too much of a brat. LOL
G A T E R A P E
Fly? Hell we (as a company) quit... period. With today’s technology 99% can be done in real time via the web and we’re hot after the ability to 24/7/365 monitor equipment/people... literally on every continent a plant grows. Should have done it before. For those clients who feel a look across a table is imperative... the office doors are open and the lights are on. We’ve simply had enough.
The END.
PS... for that 1% of the time flying HAS to happen. Work Kilts & G strings. Guess we’ll find out if that breaks THEIR rules or not!
LOL!
Don’t worry, my hands are still warm from the last guy.
LOL!
“We get off before you get on”
Here’s a tune:
Never gonna let you down,
Cause we’re gonna feel you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Just gonna feel you.
And a youtube video of it being sung: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBQEcsc8EkU&;
Thanks. Bookmark for later.
Oh man, you guys are a crack up....oops, better not give them any ideas.
If you’re looking for a song anthem, Samantha Fox — “Touch me”
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