Posted on 06/07/2010 12:37:58 PM PDT by gura
Knifework.net learned today from it’s exclusive Hollywood contacts that President Obama has ordered last minute changes to the remake of the 80’s classic “The Karate Kid”. The original movie features the story of a young boy who through sacrifice, hard work, humility and knowledge overcomes not only his tormentors but his own fear. Once our President got wind of the fact that the 2010 remake stayed true to this story he felt it was necessary to take time away from mediating talks over the possible breakup of the Big 12 Conference and personally intervene so that this new movie would reflect our new American values.
The new movie features Jaden Smith as Dre Parker, a twelve year old tormented by the children of Tea Party members in his neighborhood. Dre turns to Mr. Han (Jackie Chan), a local Asian-American who works for the Census Bureau going door-to-door gathering data for the American Community Survey. Mr. Han has perfected his own martial art through years of dodging violent constitutionalists who wrongly consider the idea of a continuous government data gathering project intrusive and unconstitutional.
Mr. Han initially has Dre perform such menial looking tasks as riding a stationary bicycle to generate electricity, sorting rec
(Excerpt) Read more at knifework.net ...
nobody said comedy was easy.
On a serious note, why didn’t the call this new move “Kung Fu Kid”?
The movie takes place in China, and he learns Kung Fu.
Good one!
All satire aside, I wish I was rich so I could have my no talent kid star with no karate skills star in a movie.
I didn’t realize that. Kung Fu. Karate. It’s all the same when you can’t do either one.
Decent satire there. Thanks for posting it.
I can’t understand why they are remaking the movie. The first one was ok, but really...can’t Hollywood come up with anything original?
Apparently not.
That’s ok.
All Asians look alike anyway, so their martial arts are probably the same, too. (LOL)
Yeah but it's supposed to be funny.
Agreed. Why did they pick Will Smith’s son to star in the movie?
Why did they pick Will Smith to play James West?
I thought the original one was pretty good and didn’t even notice the PC in it. I happened to see a review and to my surprise the critic had seen something I hadn’t.
All the bad guys were blonds. All the good guys were dark haired or some minority.
From Wikipedia: On November 10, 2008, Variety reported that work on a Karate Kid remake had begun. Variety stated that the new film, to be produced by Will Smith, “has been refashioned as a star vehicle for Jaden Smith” ....
nice premise, but I’m sorry, I’ll have to give this one an “epic fail” in follow through.
1. Remakes
2. Sequels
3. Comix Superheros.
None of these require original thought. Occasionally we get remakes and/or sequels of No. 3. Sometimes we get Prequels or Midquels, but no, nothing original.
I forgot No. 4: Movies made of old or new TV shows. Again, not original. (And you can have sequels/prequels/remakes of same).
Original thought in Hollywood? Not a chance.
The thing that is most to be feared is the “Reboot”, as in the Star Trek ‘Reboot’ or the Batman Reboot. Basically, this is when you have ridden the sequel horse as far as it can possibly take you on your Superhero or old TV Show Movie, so you ‘reboot’. This unleases a whole new slew of sequels, so it never really dies.
Wushu. Kung Fu really isn’t a martial art.
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