Column: What's in a name? By ChaToyya Sewell (Yours truly AND FR attacked - again)

The Maneater ^ | 11/17/2009 | ChaToyya Sewell

[Responsibility2nd]

My name is ChaToyya Eryn ChaNayle. Through the years I've endured derision, cackles and mispronunciation. Let's ignore my middle names. Things might get a bit more complicated with those, but ChaToyya is pretty straightforward. Cha — as in Charlotte, Toy — as in a children's plaything, Ya — and if you can't figure that out, there is little help for you.

An introductory mispronunciation is fine. I've done it too, but this continual ignorance of what is my name is not. The subtext is my name is merely a stereotype, freely available as someone's punch line, ignoring that my name has a meaning and a history. And so what if my name was made up or an inventively spelled version of an existing name? At one point, someone made up Sarah as well.

After stumbling onto a thread about my publicly indignant ways on the Free Republic, I was subjected to a multitude of comments filled with derision for my name. Commenter KentrappedinliberalSeattle takes the insulting route claiming "That's not a 'name;' it's a winning Scrabble hand between two dyslexic stoners." Har har. Commenter McGruff takes the obtuse route asking "Cha Toyya [sic] Sewell? What da hell kinda name is dat?" A legal one, next. And then there are the mature commenters, such as Responsibility2nd, who said, "I wish these journo-wanna be's like Chew Toy would step up and name names." I get it, punny!

Events in this country do neither exist in a vacuum nor are they isolated from the past even as they march toward the future. African-American naming practices are not excluded from this. It seems logical to me after the forced separation from African traditions and culture and the forced assimilation to slave culture, there would be a movement to begin to exist on our own terms, names being an example of this.

But this is not a defense of African-American or other ethnic- and class-based naming practices. Not because I think ill of them but because I am more concerned with why people think they are appropriate to make fun of in the first place. Names are an inalienable part of people. Some hate theirs. Some love theirs. Some (like me) are fiercely protective of theirs.

When you have a name deemed "non-normative" or "non-traditional," people feel entitled to comment about it and ask you questions, like the non-physical version of touching my hair. Generally comments run along three types: First, you have the fawning types, the "that is sooooo cool, you black people are so creative with names types" — now, I don't take issue with compliments, but what I do take issue with is the monolithic brush all black people are painted with, as if we all do the same things.

Then you have your overly concerned types — the "I'm all for naming your children what you want, but these names hold them back. I've never seen a (insert stereotypical black name here) work in an office, etc." I'd like you to first think if telling someone to their face you think their name is damaging their opportunities is socially acceptable. I am aware of linguistic discrimination. I've been on the phone and heard the pitch drop at the sound of my name.

I don't think limiting the agency of black parents is any way to defeat the racism of others. And finally you get the rude ones, who generally repeat your name indignantly and begin laughing. There are rules for interacting with larger society, and I'm pretty sure one of them is not to laugh about people's names. If you don't have that social skill set, we probably can't be friends.

[Responsibility2nd]

Here is the FR thread Chew Toy is wee wee'd up about:

 

Obama Not Exempt From Black Stereotypes (College Student Obsessed With Free Republic)

 

 

ChaToyya Sewell

 

 

She claims we FReepers are obsessed about Obama's penis.

[Responsibility2nd]

Your thread from September? See post #1.

Has an encore.

[DuncanWaring]

Ping.

[DuncanWaring]

You’d think that after that tirade she could at least get “KentrappedinliberalSeattle” (sic) spelled right.

[Responsibility2nd]

Ping to my partners in crime.

[hsalaw]

It seems logical to me after the forced separation from African traditions and culture and the forced assimilation to slave culture, there would be a movement to begin to exist on our own terms, names being an example of this.

If she feels she was forcibly separated from Africa and assimilated here, she could move back there. This is a free country; no one is forced to stay here.

But, good point about making up names. I think I'll start calling myself "Iamadragonrider." Wonder what the clients of my lawfirm will think of that?

[frankenMonkey]

Well, I suppose an alternative name could be “ItsAllWhiteysFault”

[chemicalman]

Let's ignore my middle names.

OK, then let's work on your last.

You mispelled your last. It should be Sewer.

[ansel12]

KentrappedinliberalSeattle takes the insulting route claiming "That's not a 'name;' it's a winning Scrabble hand between two dyslexic stoners."

That was a pretty funny post, too bad she couldn't spell your FR name correctly.

[Responsibility2nd]

At least she made an effort at naming Kent.

But I also notice she still has not advised us of WHO the FReeper is...

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/2329360/posts

.... that wanted to take a gander at Obama’s penis.

I’m still here Chew Toy. Making fun of you and your name. And calling you out as the liar you are for making such a claim.

Who made this claim? Show me the thread.

[gardengirl]

Y’all are too funny!

Had an older customer the other day—his first name was Dempster. I kinda grinned and made a comment about parents. He laughed and said it was his gfather’s name. Had another customer who had to spell his name. Andrzej, I think. Never heard it before. Looked it up and it Polish/Jewish. That kind of stuff is cool.

Made up names = not so cool.

[dennisw]

This young lady has a nice smile and an above average IQ. James Bond converted Octopussy. What we need is the right freeper to work his magic on CahnToyya. She definitely has potential

[gardengirl]

Second that! At least she’s extremely literate, which is more than I can say for most around here with “iesha” names.

My all time favorite—Latrina. Gotta love parents who name their favorite daughter after an outside toilet! LOL

[aruanan]

It seems logical to me after the forced separation from African traditions and culture and the forced assimilation to slave culture, there would be a movement to begin to exist on our own terms, names being an example of this.

If she really knew anything about African traditions and culture other than a romanticized notion of herself strutting around in leopard skins, daughter of a mighty Zulu warrior, she would be kissing U.S. soil, thanking God that through the means of slavery she and her descendants can be living here, where the chief problem of the "poor" is combating diabetes due to obesity, rather than in Africa where she would more likely than not be one of the dirt poor eking their lives out growing cassava and draining ponds to get fish to sell in the streets.

[Slings and Arrows]

So she reads FR, does she?

Hi ChewToy!

[szweig]

All names from sports rosters or newspaper columns.

Draw your own conclusions...

Adalius
Adewale
Ahmard
Aisha
Akisha
Aladrian
Alainian
Alando
Alaysia
Aldarius
Aleah
Aleeta
Alphe
Alterraun
Alvertis
Anqoinette
Anquan
Anterio
Antoine
Antrel
Antwaan
Antwan
Antwane
Aqeela
Arellious
Aundrae
Aurian
Aveion
BenJarvus
Bontae
Braylon
Camryn
Carlysia
Chanel
Chantelle
Chantrelle
Chantz
ChaToyya
Chaun
Chone
Chykie
Cleotus
Cletus
Contrell
Corinio
Correll
Craphonso
D’Andre
D’Anthony
D’Brickashaw
D’Qwell
D’Vontrey
Daequan
Dajohn
Dajuan
Damane
Damarcus
Damarlo
Damein
Danario
Danatus
Danieal
Danieal
Dantrell
Danyell
Daric
Darius
Darlanne
Darnell
Darrent
Darris
Dashon
Davyeon
Dawan
De’Mack
De’Mon
De’Vion
De’Von
DeAundre
Dechone
Deion
Deiondrick
Deione
Dejuan
Dekoda
Deliazard
DelJuan
Delmon
Deltha
Delwyn
DeMar
DeMarcus
Demario
Demarius
DeMaurice
DeMeco
Demetric
Demetrius
Demontez
Demorrio
Denard
Denine
Denzel
Deon
Deonte
Deron
Deron
Derricus
Desean
DeShaun
DeShawn
Deshea
DeVarro
Devaughndre
Deveric
Devin
Devlin
Dezariah
Dezmond
Dionta
DiQuan
Domonique
Dontarrius
Donte’
Dontrell
Dontrelle
Dovante
Dravannti
Drayton
Du Juan
Dushawn
Dvon
Dwain
Dwyane
Dy’Onne
Ean
Eboni
Edgerrin
Erasmus
Everette
Fabiene
Flozell
Fontel
Foswhitt
Frostee
Genarlow
Gerran
Gerris
Gervase
Gijon
Iofemi
Irdwin
J’Michael
Ja’Corey
Ja’Kuan
Ja’Shawn
Jabu
Jacquizz
Jahvid
JaJuan
Jamaal
Jamaine
Jamal
Jamar
Jamarcus
Jamario
Jameer
Jameisha
Jamiel
Jamiihr
Jamin
Jammal
Jamychal
Janoris
JaRon
Jarrad
Jarue
Javarris
Jaycen
Jayceon
Jeh
Jehmu
Jemalle
Jerame
Jerametrius
Jereme
Jerheme
Jermaine
Jermale
Jermareo
Jermichael
Jermil
Jermon
Jerramy
Jerrson
Jeshua
Jevon
Jheryl
Johnae
Johniya
Johnl
Joselio
Jrue
Junius
Juqua
Jwon
Jyles
Kahlil
Kahyla
Kalima
Kalvin
Kambriel
Kamerion
Kamerion
Kanisha
Karington
Kashay
Kawann
Kedrin
Kee-ayre
Keion
Keiwan
Kestahn
Keyaron
Keydrick
Keyon
Keyunta
Khaled
Khalid
Khalif
Kheeston
Khreem
Kianna
Kiannah
Kieta
Kiwaukee
Knowshon
Kwame
Kynika
La’Roderick
La’Roi
LaDainian
Lakeem
Lakeisha
Lakisha
Lamarcus
Lamarian
LaMarr
Laquan
Laquarry
LaRon
LaSasha
LaShawn
LaTerra
LaTerryal
Latrell
LaTrisha
LaTroy
Lavelle
Laveranues
Lavernius
Le’Ron
LeAndre
Leeshawn
Lemar
Lemaricus
LeMicah
Lendale
Leodis
Leomia
Letalvis
Levonne
Lovell
Luster
Makayla
Marcedes
Marcellous
Markihe
Marloe
Marquand
Marquese
Marquest
Marquise
Marshawn
Martrez
Matterral
Maurkice
Mewelde
Mikki
Mishawn
Mister
Montae
Montavious
Morkeith
Mossis
Mychal
Myhiesha
Mykal
Nakeisha
Naquan
Nischelle
Nurdeen
Nushawn
Nyasia
O’Jahnae
Omare
Omarius
Pharrell
Pjai
Pleajhai
Purnell
Quan
Quanell
Quanis
Quintin
Quinton
Ra’Shon
Raheem
Ramzee
Rashad
Rashard
Rasheed
Rashied
Rashieka
Ravon
Rayshun
Renay
Reuele
Roisean
Rolandis
Rondarius
Ronnet
Ronyell
Roydell
Samardo
Santonio
Sar-ron
Seddrick
Senfronia
Shadayia
Shakira
Shanesia
Shanice
Shanika
Shaniqua
Shaniya
Shantelle
Shantrelle
Shaquille
Shareece
Shawna
Shawnbrey
Shawne
Shawnte
Shemekia
Shequita
Shi’Renaja
Sinorice
SirVincent
Snorice
Starkiesha
Stephon
Stylez
Sycloria
Syesha
Ta-Nehisi
Taiwan
Tamika
Tanard
Tarockus
Tarranisha
Tarvaris
Taurean
Tavin
Tayshaun
Terdell
Terrelle
Tervaris
Theandre
Thearon
Therrian
Toddrick
Toshmon
Tramon
Travarous
Travon
Tremaine
Trenard
Trumaine
Ty’Sheoma
Tyjuan
Tyree
Tyreke
Tyshawn
Tywon
Unique
Uriel
Vanswan
Ventrell
Verron
Visanthe
Vondrell
Vonta
Vontae
Waynelle
Wondy
Xzavier
Yarisa

[The Comedian]

[benewton]

I think that it should be noted that the child does not pick their name, and that by the time that they realize it is crazy it is way to late, for most of us, to change it.

I hated mine, but after a few decades, it becomes familiar.

But I was paid to do the diversity training gig, and at that point was supposed to be “sensitized” to their significance and meaning, “minority” only, of course.

Labels are one thing, truth another...

That said, I’ve worked with some very good people with some very “fake” names. At least while working, it really is the person and their capabilities, not their labels.

Post work, I’ve no clue: as a consultant I’m gone in a year,
and the wife’s not with me, so no social life at all when on site.

[Responsibility2nd]

Then you have your overly concerned types — the "I'm all for naming your children what you want, but these names hold them back. I've never seen a (insert stereotypical black name here) work in an office, etc." I'd like you to first think if telling someone to their face you think their name is damaging their opportunities is socially acceptable. I am aware of linguistic discrimination. I've been on the phone and heard the pitch drop at the sound of my name.

 

Unbelievable. First she attacks the idea that it's wrong to think it's socially unacceptable to consider a stereotypical black name as a disadvantage. Then she proves the point that is most certainly is a disadvantage.

[denydenydeny]

I don't think limiting the agency of black parents is any way to defeat the racism of others.

I don't disagree, but she misses the point.

It wasn't long ago that Americans would laugh at names like "Sandeep" or "Nguyen." Today, not so much.

Is this change because Americans were commanded to by the Racism Police?

Or is it because Asian immigrant communities, on the basis of their economic and social integration with American society, and their work ethic, command respect?

You can put a gun to someone's head and demand that he not be "racist," but respect is always earned. It can't be coerced.