Posted on 07/15/2009 3:40:11 PM PDT by GeorgiaDawg32
(Fresno, California 7/15/09) Jim Thompson, 31, lived a fairly quiet life in the lazy town of Fresno, California until approximately 4 days ago when his world suddenly turned upside down. He awoke that morning to find he was the target of verbal insults from the leftist media who accused him of owning a right wing blog on the internet that contained comments not fit for publication.
Mr. Thompson issued the following spurious statement:
Up until neigh on 4 days ago, I was livin a down-home quiet life with my two dogs, Bubba and Bough, them dogs ain't got a brain between 'em and Bough just can't think for himself. I gotta always tell him what do to, when to eat, when to "go", what to bark. He*l, I wish there were a machine somewhere that could do his thinkin for him so I wouldn't have to. Then, a few days ago, my phone done started ringin at 4 in the morning with nothing but insults from some guy from some TV station called MS something and he called me the worst person in the world. I cant afford no T.V. and dont know anyone who watches him. Heck, all I done did was drink a few six-packs the night before and if I would have knowed he was gonna call me names for that I wouldnt have answered the dang phone. Then I start getting calls from other people I aint never heard of accusing me of the most vile and despicable things and callin me all sorts of names. They was all from out of town and they doesnt even know me from Adam. They must have me confused with someone else but I aint sure.
Then I find out theyre callin me because I own some sort of internet blog, by the way, I have no ide-er what a blog is or where you find one. I called Charlies General Store, its the store thats 3 blocks from here down at the light across from Joes Pick and Pay Beer Store and asked him if I bought a blog there but he couldnt remember sellin me one. I guess I own it, but aint got no clue to when I bought it. I just wish theyd all go away and never come back but it seems the more I tell them I dont own nothing, the more they accuse me of hidin facts. Besides, I aint go no clue what this internet is either. I aint go no computer and the only nets I have I uses for fishin.
I aint nothin but an umemployed used diaper truck route driver. Some people say the job stinks but it all smells like money to me. With this here blog I supposedly own, I think Im gonna cash in and move my bidness to Washington, D.C. I heard theres so much sh*t flowin outta that town right now I figger Ill need several trucks and can make a fortune there over the next several years.
All I knows is Im more famous now than I was after that night at the frat house, I didnt go to no college but hangin out there was a lotta fun, when I done drank a case of beer and ate a pound of spaghetti, all in one hour then bust up 3/4 of it in one big spew. It was the purtiest thing all over that wall. I tried to call it art and git some money from the gubmint but they wasnt helping me.
So yall just go away or Ill change my last name to Robinson or some such then yall wont find me at all.
Developing..
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Hehe! :-)
Bwahahahaha ... love it! I had a dog like ol’ Bough, but I named him with fewer letters.
hahahahahahahahahaha
Aha! That guy's not from Fresno. He just described Lemoore. What a fraud! The media just picked him to make the fine sophisticated folks of Fresno look like Hillbillies. You have to drive 15 or 20 miles from Fresno to find toothless ignorant hicks like that, and the media darn well knows it!
lol
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Has anybody created a Jim Thompson page on FR yet?
LOL!
I keep thinking about this great, old commercial when I saw the Olberman thread:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LztZu5s0-QU&feature=related
So this Jim Thompson fella is the owner of TreeRepublic?
Hay, y’all...
Where’n ya dun git yer edjumackasin frum ???
It aint himself. itz hisself...
“Bough just can’t think for hisself”
would have ???
That thar is “woulda”
“if I woulda knowed he was gonna call me names”
See ?? Then y’all’d sound raht smart lark me...
y’all...
Jest bein nayberlee lark...
:)
So this Jim Thompson fella is the owner of TreeRepublic?
Yeah and he is hugh and series trouble.
heh..hey, it was spur of the moment..:)
Thank you. I needed a good laugh after the day I’ve had.
Someone needs to log on as Jim Thompson so we can unload on him for being so 'racy'. :^)
*chuckle*
That put a smile on my face.
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