--Rodney Dangerfield
Posted on 05/09/2009 2:03:03 AM PDT by Schnucki
Women only really hear properly when they are gossiping or eavesdropping on other people's conversations, according to new research.
More than two thirds of women admitted that a gossip with friends is the only time they are properly listening to what is being said.
The same percentage think they hear most intently when they are trying to eavesdrop on an argument taking place nearby.
Only half of men said they only hear properly when gossiping, while four in 10 admitted to listening closely to other people's conversations.
The poll of 2,000 people also found that more than one in five men reckon they always listen carefully to every word, and while less than one in five of women said the same.
Ladies are also most likely to switch off when listening to their work colleagues, with the average woman catching what they say just 64 per cent of the time.
Just two thirds of what their boss says gets picked up, while women admitted they only really hear 70 per cent of the conversations they have with their partner.
But when it comes to talking to their best friend, women give their full attention to more than three quarters of what is spoken.
Researchers also revealed that 84 per cent of Brits think they are a good listener, with 20 per cent saying they listen to every word.
And 58 per cent think speaking face-to-face is the best form of communication.
Two thirds of women admitted they had never had a hearing test - compared to 55 per cent of men.
And almost half of people admit they sometimes struggle to hear what other people are saying.
Wendy Davies, Audiologist at Siemens Hearing Instruments which carried out the research, said: "The first sign of hearing loss is constantly asking 'pardon'
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
LOL Dh always says I don’t listen to him so now I have an excuse! :D
| What a woman says: Cmon...This place is a mess! You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do laundry now! What a man hears: C'MON....blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW! |
Boy, that sure didn’t go the way I thought it was.
My hearing is bad, and I miss a lot of what my wife says because of it. However, when she starts to mention anything that I think is stupid, and that’s a lot of stuff, I know my brain just tunes that crap out.
Women, if you want someone to listen, don’t talk about stupid crap. That is all.
Well, that explains the phenomenon of some women not having heard the precise explanation of how not to use a power tool while standing next to them, but hearing the grumbling muttered (after they do)under one's breath in perfect detail and clarity, even if the mutterer is out in the detached workshop with the circular saw running...
Subject: Patient Bob
It is important for men to remember that as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when
they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are
over-sensitive and there isn’t nothing worse than an over-sensitive
woman.
My name is, Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my
wife, Ernestine. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took "early
retirement" in April, it became necessary for Ernestine to get a full-time
job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show
her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she
gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always
says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I
don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when
she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill
at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home
cooked grub when I hit that door.
She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I
do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening
that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does
seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot. I consider
telling people what they ought to do one of my strong points.
And speaking of bed, her age really shows up there. I go out and golf
all day, come in dead tired and after a two hour nap and a good meal, I'm
ready, if you know what I mean. Age has gotten her so bad that she
actually dozes off during lovemaking. But that's okay. Her satisfaction
in that area is important to a sensitive guy like me, and if she enjoys
sleeping during our little trysts, what the hey.
Now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more
quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement. Sometimes she says
she just can't make another trip down those steps. I don't make a big issue
of this, as she finishes up the laundry the next evening. I'm willing to
overlook it. Not only that, but unless I need something ironed to wear
to the Monday lodge meeting, or to Wednesday's or Saturday's poker club, or
to Tuesday's or Thursday's bowling, or something like that, I will tell her
to wait until the next evening to do the ironing. This gives her a little
more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog,
vacuuming or dusting.
Also, if I had a really good day on the course and it was wet and muddy,
my clubs are a mess, so I let her clean them, you know, get the grit off
the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces at a casual pace. My
golf bag is heavy, so I lift it out of the trunk for her. Women are
delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men.
But I did tell her I don't like to be wakened during my after golf nap, so
rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's
finished.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will
say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills
during her lunch hour. But boys, we take em for better or worse, so I
just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or
even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't
hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my
strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.
She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.
I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of
freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she
is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take
her break by my hammock. That way she can talk with me until I fall asleep.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Ernestine.
I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men
will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better
than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing
it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each
other...
Bob
EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob died suddenly Thursday, January 3. He was found with
a Calloway extra long 50 inch Big Bertha Driver in his rectum with
only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Ernestine was arrested, but the
Grand Jury accepted her defense that he accidentally sat on it and she
was released on Friday, January 4.
With all these people watching?
Blah, blah Blah
That’s what I read when I heard this article. ;-)
“I’ve had enough women accuse me of saying something I didn’t say.”
I concur that the “problem” goes beyond selective memory (which likely affects both sexes to an equal degree). I would never dispute my wife on details such as what we ate or who wore what 3 years ago. Those are details completely devoid of interest to me and of great interest (apparently) to her; hence it makes no sense to challenge the accuracy of those accounts.
But in recent years, I have paid much more attention to the accuracy of her short-term memory and at least once or more weekly there is a situation in which I tell her a time I will rendevous or be ready to leave the house etc. and she literally MISREMEMBERS the time given. These invariably are in the direction she desires (e.g., to make her look less late or, in instances when we disagree on a time and then compromise, she will recall an agreed-upon time that was closer to her original preference rather than the one actually agreed upon etc.).
In addition, there are times she claims I said something I’m 95% certain I never did.
In short, women hear what they want to hear, i.e., both distorting things they actually heard, but also extending to imagining things they never did.
Yeah, who ARE those people staring at you?
They said they were with you.
After several decades of experience, I would also point out that one rule for happy living is "Never tell a woman what she doesn't want to hear".
They’re yours, they hang on your every word. They look lucid; couldn’t be dems...
Did you say something?
I don’t want them. Maybe I can sell them on eBay.
They’ve bonded with you. You’ll break their hearts.
OMG! Break their hearts and they’ll become demotards!
If I heard you correctly.
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