“I’ve had enough women accuse me of saying something I didn’t say.”
I concur that the “problem” goes beyond selective memory (which likely affects both sexes to an equal degree). I would never dispute my wife on details such as what we ate or who wore what 3 years ago. Those are details completely devoid of interest to me and of great interest (apparently) to her; hence it makes no sense to challenge the accuracy of those accounts.
But in recent years, I have paid much more attention to the accuracy of her short-term memory and at least once or more weekly there is a situation in which I tell her a time I will rendevous or be ready to leave the house etc. and she literally MISREMEMBERS the time given. These invariably are in the direction she desires (e.g., to make her look less late or, in instances when we disagree on a time and then compromise, she will recall an agreed-upon time that was closer to her original preference rather than the one actually agreed upon etc.).
In addition, there are times she claims I said something I’m 95% certain I never did.
In short, women hear what they want to hear, i.e., both distorting things they actually heard, but also extending to imagining things they never did.