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Are we 'Good-job!'-ing our kids to pieces?
Star Tribune ^ | 4/8/2009 | KATE McCARTHY

Posted on 04/13/2009 4:39:33 AM PDT by Sinschild

"It's had serious repercussions," Swihart said. "These young adults who were raised in the '80s, now in their 20s and in the workplace -- those who received praise, rewards and prizes for everything they did without working very hard -- often are very entitled and self-absorbed

(Excerpt) Read more at startribune.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: bellcurve; dumbingdown; education; generationy; parenting; psychology; workplace
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1 posted on 04/13/2009 4:39:34 AM PDT by Sinschild
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To: Sinschild

Unintended consequences.
Who would have thought! </sarc>


2 posted on 04/13/2009 4:41:53 AM PDT by Knute
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To: Sinschild
What!!!!! You mean I'm NOT special? But that's what my teacher told me... :(

What was it that Garrison Keilor said about all children being above average at Lake Woebegone????

3 posted on 04/13/2009 4:45:55 AM PDT by Virginia Ridgerunner (Sarah Palin is a smart missile aimed at the heart of the left!)
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To: Sinschild

If you reward children for failure, you don’t care for them to succeed.


4 posted on 04/13/2009 4:48:05 AM PDT by cmj328 (Filibuster FOCA or lose reelection)
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To: Sinschild

I see this type of accolade a complete motivation destroyer.


5 posted on 04/13/2009 4:50:16 AM PDT by Carley (President Obama Dropped a MOAB on America)
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To: Sinschild

And in the 1980s the Star Tribune was probably praising the over-praising of these future libtards.


6 posted on 04/13/2009 4:52:06 AM PDT by vladimir998 (Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. St. Jerome)
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To: All

Would it kill you to tell me what a brilliant and insightful poster I am?


7 posted on 04/13/2009 4:57:34 AM PDT by BipolarBob (I shoot only after kindness fails.)
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To: BipolarBob
BipolarBob, You are indeed a brilliant and insightful poster.

Feel better?   :)

8 posted on 04/13/2009 5:00:53 AM PDT by upchuck (I'm glad I'm old. Thus I can remember when America was a decent, moral, God fearing country.)
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To: Sinschild

I am in the Navy and find myself constantly having to lift these “kids” self esteem though giving DESERVED “Bravo Zulus” and “great jobs”. I don’t mind because they seem to thrive on it and even do a better job just so they can hear it again the following week or two. I also will tell them my disappointment and that really affects them too. I think it has to do with parents not paying attention to them. Remember they spent their lives in daycare. Sure some might call it being weak, but I have the best behaved Sailors on base. Not one discipline problem or any other situations.


9 posted on 04/13/2009 5:01:02 AM PDT by napscoordinator
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To: Sinschild
"These young adults who were raised in the '80s, now in their 20s."

The math's a bit off here. It started in the 80's, that's for sure, so kids born in the 70's, and now in the their 30's, have also been indoctrinated in schools.

And then, of course, there's Barack Obama, who learned the same behavior through overindulgence by his mother and GP's, and the "racial sensitivity" of his teachers -- demanding good grades, railing against a coach for benching him (resenting said coach to this day), going into an emotional tailspin after losing an election, and now plotting revenge against any who dare to criticize him publicly.

10 posted on 04/13/2009 5:02:15 AM PDT by browardchad
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To: napscoordinator
Praise, rewarding a truly good job should be done. There's nothing wrong with it. We all need to hear it once in a while.

But...as was done in the 80’s and 90’s praise for praises sake fails to instill self-esteem or competitive skills. One needs to learn how to fail in order to succeed. One needs to learn one is not always going to be the best at everything. Once that is learned, they can then start to assess how to build a team, looking to others strengths or weaknesses and working on those within themselves.

11 posted on 04/13/2009 5:09:09 AM PDT by EBH (The world is a balance between good & evil, your next choice will tip the scale.)
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To: Sinschild

You see this in pro sports as well, especially baseball.
I’ve seen guys, who with a man on first no out, hit a weak grounder to second, advance the man to second and when he comes back to the bench everyone is fist bumping and high fiving him like he’s done something great.


12 posted on 04/13/2009 5:10:36 AM PDT by LeavingNewYork
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To: Sinschild
From the article:
Dr. Ernie Swihart, an author and behavioral pediatrician at South Lake Pediatrics in Minnetonka, decried the self-esteem movement from its inception. Then, as now, he believed kids should be taught to be inwardly focused, self-sufficient creatures able to shift their own gears.

Real self-esteem -- for all of us -- comes from overcoming an obstacle-laden challenge, he believes, with hard work. Lavishing praise, he contends, is counterproductive and, if anything, makes kids needy and voracious for that other self-esteem-movement buzzword: validation.

"It's had serious repercussions," Swihart said. "These young adults who were raised in the '80s, now in their 20s and in the workplace -- those who received praise, rewards and prizes for everything they did without working very hard -- often are very entitled and self-absorbed.

Does this seem to be just common sense to anyone besides me? Being over praised or under praised is unnatural. Hello?
13 posted on 04/13/2009 5:11:24 AM PDT by upchuck (I'm glad I'm old. Thus I can remember when America was a decent, moral, God fearing country.)
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To: napscoordinator
I think it has to do with parents not paying attention to them.

Bingo! Had a young relative ask his parents one time if they were poor. This kid had every toy imaginable - birthdays were like Christmas and Christmas was...I've never seen anything like it.

But he believed they were poor because Mom and Dad were always working and never had time to spend with him. He even offered his piggy bank "to help pay the bills" if only it would buy him more time with his parents.

For many, the gold star is the only attention they ever get. Attention becomes like a drug - they "overdose" on it when they get a little and don't know how to handle themselves.

14 posted on 04/13/2009 5:12:11 AM PDT by Mygirlsmom ("Special Olympics"??? His teleprompter would have known better.)
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To: Sinschild

You see this in pro sports as well, especially baseball.
I’ve seen guys, who with a man on first no out, hit a weak grounder to second, advance the man to second and when he comes back to the bench everyone is fist bumping and high fiving him like he’s done something great.


15 posted on 04/13/2009 5:20:05 AM PDT by LeavingNewYork
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To: Sinschild

My kids are both chess state champs. There is nothing more ridiculous than sitting through the awards ceremonies when every kid is getting a certificate for “participation”. The crazy thing is that the kids know that these certificates are crap.


16 posted on 04/13/2009 5:27:15 AM PDT by Straight Vermonter (Posting from deep behind the Maple Curtain)
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To: Sinschild
Personally I stopped hiring anyone under 30 a couple of years back. There is no point in even trying.

I had one 22yo that when I turned my back dropped all his tools and went to sleep in the work van. He was amazed that I was upset and did not understand why I fired him at the end of the day. He stated more than once what a really, really great job he was doing for us.

And we now have about 2 whole generations in this state of mind. This is why we now have a takeover of the POTUS by the very same thing. Obozo is a product of this mindset coupled with affirmative action creating an algmalgum of “I am so good” entitlement (dream) plus a huge helping of “I am so stupid” I can only do it with help (reality).

Obambi is the poster child for the kids of today, like what you see?

17 posted on 04/13/2009 5:31:10 AM PDT by fuzzybutt
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To: LeavingNewYork
You see this in pro sports as well, especially baseball. I’ve seen guys, who with a man on first no out, hit a weak grounder to second, advance the man to second and when he comes back to the bench everyone is fist bumping and high fiving him like he’s done something great.

I try to discourage this wherever I am, in any situation. I tell people "I don't give high-fives for breathing", regardless of the accomplishment, even if I myself have pulled off something brilliant. Just go back and keep on plugging.
18 posted on 04/13/2009 5:31:18 AM PDT by BikerJoe
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To: upchuck

“Dr. Ernie Swihart, an author and behavioral pediatrician at South Lake Pediatrics in Minnetonka, decried the self-esteem movement from its inception.”

Too late now. The damage is done. To libs, society is nothing but a lab experiment to tinker with.


19 posted on 04/13/2009 5:34:16 AM PDT by chessplayer
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To: Sinschild
When my son was in fifth grade I was the Team Mom for his baseball team. They made the playoffs that year but were eliminated pretty quickly. One mother asked me if we were going to get them trophies. Remember these are 11 and 12 years old kids. It hadn't occurred to me but I told her I would put it to a parent vote. The parents actually voted to buy these kids trophies. I collected the money and bought small trophies and told my son that I had voted against it. Most kids these days have been rewarded for below average work so they think that's all the world will expect of them. They think just ‘trying’ is good enough. Not in the real world.
20 posted on 04/13/2009 5:36:09 AM PDT by originalbuckeye
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