A Rake's Progress
Posted on 04/02/2009 6:07:17 AM PDT by Rummyfan
No? Well, you’re unlikely to anytime soon. The British government, fresh from recent proscriptions on religious and racial “hatred”, is pushing ahead with legislation that will criminalize homophobic jokes.
I’ve been trying to recall the last time I heard a homophobic joke in a public forum. You have to go back a ways. At Vegas, Dean Martin used to have a bit of business where he’d refill his tumbler and ask Frank, “How do you make a fruit cordial?” And Sinatra would go, “I dunno. How do you make a fruit cordial?” And Dino would say, “Be nice to him.”
But these days, no matter how cordial you are, it’s never enough...
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Pingin' mah General Interest Ping List here. :)
Ping! Ping! Ping!
That reminds me of when Pat threw himself on the floor of the grocery store and screamed, "NO, NO! They're going to take me to Arkansas and give me a milkshake and a 16-pack of beer!"
Fortunately, some of the employees knew us (from the Republican Party) and explained that he's just Like That.
After you leave Wally-World all bets are off?!? ;-p
LOL, I’ll have to show these to my wife. :)
Who was that lady I saw you with last night?
That was no lady, that was my Gloucestershire Comedy Court probation officer.
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Hugh.
Hugh who?
Human Rights Tribunal Joke Investigative Unit. Come out with your hands in the air, not fluttering around your hips as if it’s Carmen Miranda night at the Gay Stereotype Lounge.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To take part in a demonstration against poultrophobic humour.
How do you make a fruit cordial?
Be nice to him. Or else.
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Oh, my! hahahhahaaa !!
If you insult a pregnant redneck broad who’s behind the wheel of a 15-passenger van, bad things can happen!
A Rake's Progress
Those whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.
I remember the touchy-feely-feminizing Sensitivity Off-Site course I survived, some years back. On humor, they had several of those 2’x3’(?) chartpad pages stuck to the whiteboard, filled up with “NO!” No black jokes, no white jokes, no old jokes, no young jokes, no gay jokes, no straight jokes, no woman jokes, no man jokes, no short jokes, no tall jokes, no fat jokes, no thin jokes, no accent jokes, no egg-head-vocabulary jokes, no redneck jokes, no metrosexual jokes, no basketball jokes, no swimming jokes, ... just pages and pages of “NO!”
Thanks - must read bump! ;-)
That was a great YouTube
Very good. But what is the *typewriter* thingy? (line 7)
We're not far behind. In fact, after the G20, we may be ahead.
Thanks for the ping!
It's not like Great Britain is the only nation in the West which is being gradually tyrannized by the progenitors of "political correctness".
See Canada. And, yes, the United States of America.
That list IS a little dated, LOL!
I spent a lot of time ‘at the wheel’ of an IBM Selectric typewriter. What a beauty she was!
I could also operate a card-punch machine back when they were ‘State of the Art’ as well as operate a steno machine and my first Field Computer in the Army was about the size of a VW Bug, LOL! At the end of my career I had my own laptop and I was Living Large, Baby!
My kid doesn’t even know what a cassette tape is; music was already on CD when he was born.
Man, I’m gettin’ old. You never think it will happen to YOU! ;)
Everybody's rights go away when this sort of crap happens. Everybody's.
So YOU'RE the one! :-)
As an ex-WM night-stocker in a middle-class predominately-white neighborhood, I can attest to:
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Found that many a time. Also found empty drug-testing kits in the Men's room. Found a defrosted pizza in Furniture, and, by odor, a day-old (or more) defrosted chicken hidden behind some canned goods.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Chased off some young BWAA (Blacks with an attitude) playing bumper cars, running down the batteries, so the disabled had no means of shopping the next morning.
9. When there are people behind you, walk really slow, especially thin narrow aisles.
If you're HWAA (Hispanics with . . .) two of you block the aisle and chat, then glare at the Gringo who asks you to move.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10”.
BWIA do this with rap, WWAA (Whites . . .) do this with rock.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
YWAA (Yutes . . .) do this, then fall off or ram into something/somebody and mommy sues WM.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Busted YWAAs who then get upset when you tell them to return the ball to the Toy department. WM is seen as an alternative amusement center.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
Then fall and sue WM.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
A relative of dropping off a changed-mind item in another department or letting Little Jimmy use the Toy department as a playground while I shop. Also akin to swapping price tags around.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
See above.
36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Busted YWAAs doing this on Saturday night around 2 a.m. Busted a HWAA giving his girl a speedy ride on my hand truck.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Take them out of their boxes and stuff them anywhere you can find a spot, or just leave them on the floor - they're like road maps and never fold right after opened. I started taping the boxes shut.
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
Also leave half-filled sodas and candy wrappers you pilfered. Leave half-filled Slurpee drinks from Subway and coffee cups from Starbucks tucked away on shelves. Leave plucked-clean grape stems and banana peels on the floor in Produce. Take a bite out of an apple and then return it, good side up. Punch down on each 18-count egg carton so at least one egg is broken so that the store has to throw them all away.
47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Busted YWAAs in Furniture - especially with bean bags and those one-piece rockers.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
See 27, 43, and 47.
Then complain about the store "looking cluttered", rising prices (time spent undoing pranks), short-tempered personnel (employees tired of cleaning up after grown-ups).
You missed one: 51. Go into the fitting room and then after a few minutes, yell, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
I manage a garden center, so I know everything people feel free to do to trash the property of others. *SIGH*
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve unclogged the toilets and the urinal, or cleaned up blood or baby poop or...well, you get the idea. I wash my hands A LOT at work, LOL!
They tip over plants, break open bags of fertilizer and dirt and grass seed, etc.
People truly are pigs. I wonder how they are at home if they’re this gross in public? *SHUDDER*
LOL
I always read Mark Steyn. He is my hero. Tells it like it is in as few choice words as possible.
The Beat Goes On
was in reference to all the total crap the Liberal/Socialist/Progress/Marxist/Fascists are constantly shoving down our throats daily.
Being a first generation on one side and second generation on the other, I am a Conservative who was raised to love our country, honor our flag and Constitution. I become extremely depressed listening/reading about all the crap. So 'The Beat Goes On' was my way of protest.
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