CHARTREUSE ALERT! 10-Month old COLB reported missing

The Greater Evil ^ | March 31, 2009 | Polarik

[Polarik]

By Scott Free

HAWAII [Roiders] - Federal and Hawaiian authorities have joined forces today in the search for little COLBEE who has been missing almost 10 months. COLBEE was last seen in Chicago in the company of her legal guardians.

The hundreds of thousands lending their support to help find little COLBEE has been nothing short of phenomenal. Last week, one of the local dairies decided to put a picture of COLBEE on their milk cartons.

However, since there were no usable photographs of young COLBEE, the BAU in Quantico sent one of their sketch artists to produce a picture of what COLBEE might look like:

COLBEE's distraught guardians recently appeared on non-network TV, and placed notices on the Internet, pleading for COLBEE's safe return. If you have any information regarding COLBEE, you can call the toll-free tip line at:

1-800-FOR-GERY

[Polarik]

Satirical, but true.

[prismsinc]

Oh, this IS choice!

[cripplecreek]

Full purple triangle alert.

[null and void]

The alert sirens begin "Ahwooga"ing in the background.

HOLLY appears on viewscreen.

HOLLY: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil. Repeat: This is not a daffodil!

RIMMER: Well, thankfully Holly's unaffected.

[Vroomfondel]

RIMMER: Step up to red alert.

KRYTEN: Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

[null and void]

RIMMER: There’s always some excuse, isn’t there?

[ApplegateRanch]

Are you sure you wouldn’t like some nice toast with that?

[null and void]

LISTER: Look, I don't want any toast, and he (indicating KRYTEN) doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. NO TOAST.

TOASTER: How 'bout a muffin?

LISTER: OR muffins! OR muffins! We don't LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!

[ApplegateRanch]

I can also toast waffles. Waffles make you feel all warm and friendly. Would you like me to toast you a waffle?

[azishot]

Poor COLBEE. I hope a fund has been set up to find him.

[Grampa Dave]

Besure to get Amber Alerts in the 57 states to look for COLBie. It will be tough without and office picture.

[seekthetruth]

You are just too good! Loved it! LOL!