"Watchmen" Fanatic Derangement Syndrome... (Debbie Schlussel responds to critics)

debbieschlussel.com ^ | March 5, 2009 | Debbie Schlussel

[EveningStar]

I guess I shouldn't be amazed at the number of slacker ignoramuses who are up in arms about my frank review cutting down the absolute crap they worship a/k/a "The Watchmen", coming out in theaters late tonight. The e-mails they send me and the comments they make about how "deep," "edgy" and "profound" this vile piece of trash (which is none of these) reminds me of the blind statements of followers of Jim Jones. And we all know what happened after they drank he purple Kool-Aid. If only this movie could achieve that result, it would be the most fantastic exercise in natural selection ever conducted in America.

[usurper]

I plan to see it tomorrow.

Please post a review, Debbie seems a bit deranged today and I would like another opinion.

[LongElegantLegs]

Maybe because there’s only five of them?

[Melas]

Shakespeare was the pop culture of his time. You probably wouldn’t have wanted your kids anywhere near the Elizabethan theater. It was a lewd and bawdy place.

[Mr. Silverback]

Are you offended by the sex and violence in Shakespeare and Greek Tragedy? Or in D.H. Lawrence?

Resevoir Dogs, Grindhouse, Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers all have swearing and graphic violence. Would it be your contention that they have the same value as cultural artifacts?

Would it also be your contention that a scene where dogs fight over and dismember a six year old is really equivalent to Oedipus poking his eyes out?

[JSDude1]

But do they “glorify” it such as “Watchmen” seems to..or do they portray the acts you so decribe as “vice”..something to think about.

[Antoninus]

Debbie is spot-on. Superhero fanatics are among the most annoying people on the planet. Emos all.

[a fool in paradise]

If only this movie could achieve that result, it would be the most fantastic exercise in natural selection ever conducted in America.

They are fanboys. They are already unlikely to breed.

[Antoninus]

If nothing else, the article is remarkable for containing two words I’ve never seen in this order:“Poor Hitler.”

I'm sorry, but this is classic stuff:

"Memo to the creators of Richie Rich and Archie: You missed your calling. If only you'd called your product a "graphic novel" and added scenes of Archie raping Betty and Veronica and Jughead sawing off Reggie's Arms, you'd be in businesss. Dummies."

[a fool in paradise]

Neither Alan Moore nor Frank Miller are conservatives and both have included their own Reagan bashing in their comics from the 1980s and since.

[Mr. Silverback]

Ding! We have a winner for the moral clarity award! Even if Watchmen was the greatest film ever made, that guy would be a hypocritical moron. Poor soul.

[Mr. Silverback]

Memo to Debbie: take a deep breath, relax. It is just a movie.

Uncle Tom's Cabin was just a book.

[a fool in paradise]

” How dare you insult people who just happen to have different tastes than you. “

He can dish it out but doesn’t include the same tolerance for those who don’t like “spinach” (or grue).

[MitchellC]

As much as I’d like to defend Debbie against the dorks who exalt every dark movie for its alleged profundity... she has some backlash coming for calling every single person who wants to see the movie a “moron.”

[Melas]

Sorry to disappoint but not only did I breed, but my progeny has bred as well. I might even live to see my grandchildren have children.

[a fool in paradise]

Do you think depicting something fictionally is a defacto endorsement?

Death of a President (2006)

Years after the assassination of President George W. Bush in Chicago, an investigative documentary examines that as-yet-unsolved crime...

[editor-surveyor]

Looks to me like Debbie got it exactly right.

We got in the shape we’re in by being reluctant to draw lines.

[denydenydeny]

I’ll be seeing it tomorrow, so I’ll reserve judgment until then. I will say that I admire Alan Moore’s personal integrity even if I disagree with his politics, which I think are more anarchist than leftist (this is clearly evident in his original scripts for From Hell and V for Vendetta).

I go into the movie with some sympathy for it, because Zack Snyder earned of lot of respect for 300, an absolutely fearless film made with absolutely no political correctness.

I also can’t help liking the Rorschach character, which is based on the classic Steve Ditko Randian heroes that he created for Charlton and in fanzines. Rorschach is a parody of these types of characters, but he’s not a caricature, and I’ve always given Moore credit for that.

[Borges]

Taking a sequence out of context doesn’t tell you anything. How about a scene where someone gets their eye burned out in front of the audience? It happens in King Lear.

[Antoninus]

I know it isn’t Shakespeare, but the graphic novel The Watchmen was included in Time’s 100 Greatest Novels of All Time.

Please. I saw that list. It was basically the "how to turn a young person into a lifelong secular humanist with mental problems" list.

[a fool in paradise]

Few participate in such crimes, true. But there was a particularly nasty beheading in Japan (by a 13 year old) that had police checking the video rental histories of some adult "suspects".

Ichi the Killer was not geared for kids either (but the director encouraged kids to cut class and see the film by whatever means they could).