and they shall dwell in the fires of hell forever and ever... Amen.
Posted on 01/15/2009 3:56:16 PM PST by presidio9
Revision Studios, famous for the "Princess Diana Gay Bible" has launched Leviticus International, a new website which promises to help unhappy straights become gay. According to film producer Max Mitchell, creator of the site, "Jesus Christ has the power to end heterosexuals' misery and make them happy well-adjusted gays." Mitchell recently produced "Horror In The Wind," about two bio-geneticists who invent an airborne formula that reverses the whole world's sexual orientation.
Leviticus International says straights can be "born again gay" through prayer and Jesus Christ. Joseph "Bo" Kelly, of Las Vegas, NV, a former heterosexual, claims his compulsive attraction to women led him to two suicide attempts. "Now that I'm gay, suicide never crosses my mind. My partner, Todd, and I share so much more than I ever did with any of my four ex wives. I thank God for taking the sinful hetero disorder away."
How does it work? "I got on my knees and asked Jesus to release me from the spell cast by women." It took months and months of prayer until I started noticing guys' butts. Then I met Todd at church. The next thing I knew, it was Super Bowl. We were so excited by the game, let's just say there was dancing in the end zone. We moved out of the trailer into an Italian palazzo with topiary and an herb garden. I can't thank Rev. Karl enough. I'm living proof prayer really works."
Mary Bermanoff, of Dearborn, another ex straight, says she's never been so happy. "I truly am born again. Who knew Jesus could make me a happy lesbian? Twenty years with a man who smelled and never once emptied the recycle bin on the computer was more than I could take. My girlfriend, Janine, actually cooks and brings me coffee
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
Knowing Jesus will make you gay, however, it won’t make you homosexual.
un hunh. Using Jesus on the cross as an example, I was.
You said — “un hunh. Using Jesus on the cross as an example, I was.”
Yeah..., I knew that was from the cross (from Jesus). I’m not discounting what He said there. It’s just in this particular case “homosexuallity” is the *actual judgement* itself — coming after people have gone so far afield in denying God and refusing to glorify Him as our Creator God, that God has let them descend into that vile sin and passon. “That” is their judgement. They’ve gone way past the point of where the people were at, when Jesus was speaking.
They are more like Sodom and Gomorrah, when judgement comes down like fire and brimstone... killing them all...
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Until that time at least, He is dying to save them. To save us.
This smacks of satire. I think this is a hoax and the news wires picked it up thinking it was real.
homo’s infiltrating the church and fooling some. You know the old well I know a couple of them and they are really nice, course these people who say this forget that they are being nice to them so it will be said about them but when normal folk are not around the pervertedness(is that a word?) comes out and they act all weird.
Homo’s wanting in the military, scouts etc.
when will this all stop, do they really think all of us will just give up, maybe some but certainly not me or my family and my children have been told about them.
this is what I do not understand.
the homo’s and liberals have their church forget what it is called, unitarian or something like that.
Now how can they teach about religion or God and have there left wing loon homo views?
I mean what bible are they reading?
ever noticed that they harp on about diversity and yet it is they who live in their white gated communities or white upper class areas.
They harp on about tolerance and yet try to shut up those with different views.
I got it too. It is funny that people tried to argue scripture with people who are mocking it.
Finally, someone gets it.
Wait, this was in the NEWS? That says something dreadful about the state of journalism today.
—She who never checks sources on FR
scientists have found a cure for homo’s.
They did research in scandinavia but of course the homo’s said it was all wrong.
wrote this post to Julia who was the wrong person as they are a homo and have said so on here.
Presidio
Yes scientist’s in Scandinavia did find a cure but the homo groups said it was all wrong
and they shall dwell in the fires of hell forever and ever... Amen.
That’s a pet peeve I have with a lot of religious people in debates. They either don’t understand or are unfazed by the fact that their opponents don’t give a flying turd what scripture says. When this is brought to their attention, they respond by quoting scripture about why the person should believe scripture. IT DOESN’T WORK. In fact, repeating an ineffective approach and expecting a different result just makes you look insane.
If Christian values are going to survive interrogation, Christians need to learn effective logical and persuasive skills. Reciting Bible verses until one is blue in the face just doesn’t cut it.
How much have you had to drink tonight son?
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