Posted on 10/31/2008 9:03:10 AM PDT by phil_t
99 THINGS I’D RATHER DO THAN WATCH OBAMA
1. Watch a different tv program
2. Blog at PumaPAC
3. Watch a DVD or video
4. Listen to archive blog talk radio programs
5. Listen to a CD
6. Read a book or magazine
7. Clean your house
8. Clean my house
9. Play a board game
10. Do your laundry
11. Surf the web
12. Watch YouTube videos
13. Mail flyers to addresses in critical state phone books
14. Call a friend on the phone
15. Do a Prowl
16. Write an email to a friend
17. Do more Prowls
18. Play the piano (or instrument of your choice)
19. Do some exercising
20. Play a card game
21. Search for graphics for Puma PAC
22. Work on your family’s scrapbooks
23. Phone Bank for one of the opposing candidates
24. Work on your favorite hobby: Defeating ouhuhblahblah
25. Watch paint dry and grass grow
26. Visualize McCain/ Palin being sworn in.
27. Remove the last couple of NObama signs in your town.
28 Watch no name concede
29. Pray/Meditate for peace
30. Clean the litter box
31. Rake up all the leaves in my yard.
32 Get a colonoscopy
33- visit proctologist
34- get tooth extraction
35- chew on tin foil
36 seal a bag of hungry rats over my head
37- have fingernails pulled out
38- swim laps at the sewage treatment plant
39- look directly into the sun….
40-Go down hill skiing in the nude
41 Take a walk and look for UFO’s
42. Stick knitting needles in my eyes
43. Drink a few hot toddies by the fire
44.Build a snowman.
45. Catch snowflakes on my tongue.
46. Paint my house in the dark.
47.Sit on the beach and watch the waves.
48. Curl my hair.
49. Shave my legs.
50. Clean my gutters.
51. Rake leaves.
52. Stand on my head.
53. Walk aroud the block backwards.
54. kiss a gator
55. eat nutria
56. take a swamp bath
57. scratch my eyes out
58. shovel horse shit
59. Play dot to dot on ohiopubbie’s freckles.
60. Catch fireflies.
61. Step on spiders.
62. Wack bees.
63. Roast chestnuts on an open fire.
64. Get run over by a reindeer.
65. Pass out 200 more Freddiebrown PUMA flyers
66. Count my freckles
67. learn bird calls
68. hunt for centipedes
69. Apply suppositories to rabid gorillas
70. take Lucifer on in a game of chess
71. slam my head against the wall
72. Set a big Cajun named Bubba beat the crap out of me
73. Smell cat urine
74. Pluck hairs out of my nose.
75. Give the dog a bath and squeeze his glands, yuck.
76. Might as well clip the dog’s nails.
77. Change a poopy diaper.
78. Get a bikini wax.
79. Floss.
80. Eat the asshole of a skunk. (nice one Taggles, nice one.)
81. Help my granna dig out her outhouse.
82. Give Barney Frank a lap dance. (bad, BAD puma bythelake ;-) )
83. Have a pizza party
84. Go shopping
85. play computer games
86. e-mail 10 friends 10 reasons not to vote for OB
87. take a big long snooze
88. paint my fingernails
89. Count blades of grass.
90. Make a hand made apron.
91. Learn how to become a gymnast in 10 short, if not also painful, lessons.
92. Watch someone drone on and on on C-Span.
93. Have Chicken Pox
94. Wear shoes three sizes too small on a mile run
95. Watch the greatest re-runs of bad 80s infomercials for Ronco Products
96. Listen to nails on a chalkboard
97. Read Daily Kos
98. Have my gums scraped.
99. Listen to Jay Z
100. get a root canal with no novacaine.
101. Eat dryer lint.
102. File my puma claws to a sharp point for Nov 5th
103. Look for a sturdy old lady cane at the GoodWill to bop Obots with
104. Light a candle for Hillary
105. Eat all the kids preHalloween candy
106. Cross Obots off my Christmas list
107. Practice saying “I told you so!” in three languages
108. Get a box ready to send obies oval office curtains to Chicago
109. Writing a thank you note, you’re almost a PUMA to Hannity and Greata
bo’s not very popular around here is he?
I’d rather have a tarantula lay eggs in my ear.
Eat a bowl of iron filings, and then run through airport security screaming “Allah Ahkbar!”
Jump up and down on the bed with the ceiling fan on.
Drink tequila and shave the cat.
Go to an expensive restaurant and when they present you with the wine cork, sniff it and say “nope, won’t do.”
Repeat above as many times as necessary until you get the response you want.
Eat the oldest thing in my refrigerator.
Mix the oldest thing in my pantry with the oldest thing in my refrigerator and feed it to the dog.
Clean dog poop and vomit off the burber rug.
Have a root canal without anesthesia...
I did that once.
Ouch.
Listen to chalkboards mating.
Listening to Cindy Sheehan’s voice on my Bose sound system @ 2,000+ decibels for 24 hours, straight.
Listen to a set of fingernails mating with the chalkboard
I bet mine sounds worse....:))
Talk about my feelings
Go to ChuckeeCheez
Watch “Bridges of Madison County”
Sit in Starbucks with a Extra Tall half-calf latte reading a romance novel
Eat a soy burger
Do yoga
Eat sushi
Watch “What Not To Wear”
Use a HPLV spray gun unregulated with 120psi and no water separator to paint black pearl ghost flames.
Wear a pink polo shirt
Drive a Prius
Watch Oprah/Dr Phil marathon
Go to group therapy
Drink micro-brewed beer.
Have sex with Hillary.
Cut my toenails.
Shave my legs.
Clean up dog poop in the neighbourhood.
Dang, man.
Thats hardcore.
Either that or put on a Yoko Ono album.
sit on a nail
Mash my family jewels flat with a sledge hammer.
Play “hide the salami” with Governor McGreevey.
Who'd want to pass on this?
haha.. would rather walk across hot sand in dry desert
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