Posted on 06/26/2008 12:29:04 PM PDT by rface
Difference between cats and dogs: Dogs think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. They must be gods!" Cats think, "Wowee, these people feed me, play with me, give me toys, clean up my mess and make me very happy. I must be a god!"
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People who have cats really want a dog but haven't got the time to keep one. So they settle for a cat which is vastly inferior because you can't take it for walks, it wont bring anything back to you unless it killed it first, and it will never ever treat you with anything less than complete contempt.
It is well known, in fact that cats ARE dogs, in spite of what those silly, left-wing inspired dictionaries, naturalists, scientists, and pet owners claim. We at Conservapedia face an uphill battle undoing several centuries of leftwing brainwashing that attempts to sell the notion that these domesticated, four-legged mammal carnivores are different animals entirely, and as soon as I find some scientists and naturalists who agree with me, I'll be sure to post them as cites. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to die.
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People who have dogs are emotionally insecure individuals who need the validation of constant, interminable, unremitting, unconditional affection, affection, affection. That is why Walt Whitman wrote:
I think I could turn and live with cats, they are so placid and self-contain’d I stand and look at them long and long. They do not sweat and whine about their condition; They do not lie awake in the dark and weep for their sins; Not one kneels to another, nor to his kind that lived thousands of years ago; Not one is respectable or industrious over the whole earth.
Also, dogs slobber.
Well, cats do, too, but at least cats have the courtesy to spread it thinly and discreetly all over their body in a dignified way, where it dries out and becomes invisible except for adding that subtle gloss to their coat.
Unlike our Newfoundland who flings great stringy arcs of slobber all over the house, leaving big dried strings of Newfie spittle on the couch, the television set, and as high as five feet up on our walls.
Cats have many uses of which I'll name just a few.
Cats can be: -Made into violin or racquet strings
-Eaten in fine foreign cuisine
-Taunted for amusement with yarn, feathers and the like
-Dropped upside-down from very high places, only to land rightside-up
-Made into effective scapegoats of superstitious belief
-Killed eight times and emerge unscathed
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From this short list, surely everyone can begin to see just how useful cats truly are!
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Cats are subtle, devious and very very egocentric. Cats treat humans as if they were other cats, whereas dogs attempt to become human. Cats will come to you to be stroked, but if you don't do it right, or they tire of you, you may find that you are suddenly grabbed by claws or teeth. It's what a cat would do to another cat (on friendly terms) to say 'ok, thats enough'. I have known cats to walk into a room, lie on a chair, and when asked to move pretend to be asleep, then behave as if they have been there for hours. Soem cats will even argue with you visibly and vocally. If you understand cat intelligence, you are in a world of subtlety, arrogance and individual need. It's like having the most determined and self-assured three year old imaginable.....
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Is this thread a useless waste of electrons?
It is cheaper posting this than buying the gasoline needed for the trip across town......Plus I like cats and dogs and pretty women
I am just happy my 2 cats allow me to live with them.
Maybe we could start a practice of having a weekly Silliness thread. Perhaps Friday would be a good day for that.
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
My cat attacks dogs and follows us on walks!
When we were boys, mom and dad hosted Tom the Cat for two weeks for some friends of ours.
Our resident dog at the time, Bunny-mutt, was none too pleased. Their introduction was short and predictable: she made a rush and Tom took a swat to her muzzle, and that was that.
He even appropriated her cushion on the mantel (3 1/2’ high, she was a good jumper). She got even by gobbling his (ech!) cat food at every opportunity.
Bro’ and I had all sorts of fun with Tom. Swinging him round and round, holding him upside down and letting go, eskimo blanket tossing, seeing how small a space we could stuff him into, etc. We wore full armor but if he got serious with his teeth we would conclude the experiments.
Many a cat owner, trying to defend their having a cat will resort to saying "my cat is like a dog."
Ever heard a dog owner say his dog is like a cat? No.
Dogs win.
Most of us like dogs but everyone likes a little pussy
cat.
Who doesen't?
BTW, do you have a source for that last quote? It's very good
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Yes.
all this is found on at the link and are comments of posting contributors......
Wouldn’t trade my two cats for any dog.
They don’t bark, don’t poop in the middle of my yard, don’t need my constant attention, and can figure out and taking care of things themselves. They also don’t lick OR jump on my guests. They ALSO don’t stick their nose in anybody’s crotch. They also don’t stink, and never need me to bathe them.
I can also go away for the weekend and don’t have to worry about them pining away for me, and they can find their own food if they need to.
Wouldn’t trade my two cats for any dog.
They don’t bark, don’t poop in the middle of my yard, don’t need my constant attention, and can figure out and taking care of things themselves. They also don’t lick OR jump on my guests. They ALSO don’t stick their nose in anybody’s crotch. They also don’t stink, and never need me to bathe them.
I can also go away for the weekend and don’t have to worry about them pining away for me, and they can find their own food if they need to.
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