Posted on 04/28/2008 9:32:24 AM PDT by Mongeaux
Despite all our differences—black and white; young and old; Obama-supporting and sane—one thing binds us together: We all despise college students. And rightfully so, we must add. After all, is anything more annoying than the appalling illiteracy of these self-indulgent, lazy proto-drunkards? We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” collectively think not.
But there is one way you can get back at these obnoxious upper-middle-class acquaintance rapists. You can tease them ceaselessly by composing your own execrable verse in the style of inept collegiate balladry. That is to say, dear reader, you can write a poem in the pathetic manner of today’s self-important college student.
(Excerpt) Read more at hatemongersquarterly.mu.nu ...
The Earth screams
An angry banshee wailing omnipotently in the midday sun.
Rev your gasoline engine
Race to the doom of our precious green mother
Dance!
Dance the dance of doom!
Expatriate your global war of terror
Execute those who disagree
Banish the schoolchildren to a lifetime of servitude
Enaslave us all with your guns.
Malfeasance will reign supreme.
A great grey goddess in the temple of torpitude
VOTE CHENEY 2008!!!!1
A BTT for a great contest. I promise an entry later.
Kill my landlord, Kill my landlord.
Your'e welcome to post it here or in the comments section at Conclub - we're going to submit in a batch. And naturally you can email it direct to the Crack Young Staff.
Another excresence from ConClub:
Vegetarian Predator
By The Hairy Beast
(1) She stands on the quad or
the quad stands on her. They march
by
They see but they don’t see
all that I see.
Why should they?
They don’t know her.
(2) The wind tumbles the sheet across the tar
Stained with tears of rain.
Red and black black and red. It flips and flops.
The face of the hope we wait for.
3) She tapes another to the wall
of the student union. It tries to stick
It clings
Then is rejected like the other.
Gives itself to the fickle wind.
4)And the others walk on indifferant.
But I see.
And I know her.
She is the we we are waiting for.
Dance!
Dance the dance of doom!
That was glorious, thank you.
c-i-l-l my landlor’ def
Is there any reason that college student should be unable to cross a road safely? I come within a whisker of running one of them down about once a week. They just step out into the road regardless of traffic. Crazy.
I tried to write a poem for this contest but the vomit in the back of my throat made me stop. Which gives me an idea.
Amerika, your culture is spewed
onto the world
like vomit on the sidewalk after a frat party.
That would be a great topic for a horrible poem. Enlightened College kid vs Fascist planet-destroying cars.
Writing bad college poetry is not as easy as it seems, is it?
Because being raised with a silver spoon in their mouths they have never observed chickens?
the earth Killing car
you drive
shows your Hate for our Mother
how can you
Sleep
when the polar bears are drowning?
LOL! That’s funny! Ok all these will be submitted unless you don’t want them to.
Sure, submit it if you like.
My wife is a poet. She judges poetry for various contests. You wouldn’t believe how much of it is similar to that poem.
I’ll take some ginger tablets (a natural and effective anti-nausea herb) and try later.
It’s great as is Tyrant, but if you want to suffer for art - go ahead!
Is'nt that where they shoot "The Biggest Loser"?
Oh, I believe it all right.
No that’s Ted Kennedy’s private confession booth.
Dance! Dance the dance of doom! Expatriate your global war of terror Execute those who disagree
Banish the schoolchildren to a lifetime of servitude Enaslave us all with your guns. Malfeasance will reign supreme. A great grey goddess in the temple of torpitude
VOTE CHENEY 2008!!!!1
Now that's a platform I can get behind.
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