Ping
Our daughter will be 27 this May. When she was 2 1/2 her birth mother and her husband visited his sister. His sister, God bless her, saw the open wounds on her head and called the police. Both the mother and step mother went to jail. Her birth mother voluntarily relenquished custody. She was placed with a wonderful foster family. These people were/are in the same category as Mother Theresa. She was then placed with us when she was about 3 3/4. She has been over the years diagnosed as attachment disordered, mildly sociopathic, and BPD. She’s probably a little of all of those. She has made false accusations against my son as recently as three years ago to my entire family. That’s an interesting mess. LOL. She’s very bright but has very little interest in reading or education. She’s charismatic and socially very adept. She is a good mom to our wonderful granddaughter.
We love her dearly. We’re her folks and although she has her birthmother’s address and phone number and does occasionally connect with her half sibling and also could call her foster family, we’re her family and I know she loves us.
So I guess the purpose of this rant is to say that yes, what adults do can mess up a child’s head but this isn’t anything new - we can’t any of us give our children a perfect life - we can just do the best we can with what we know at the time.
I guess that the state of Texas is in that role right now on a temp basis. It sounds to me like they are doing the best they can, gathering information, working to minimize the impact of separation from their caregivers and way of life. The alternative is to send them back into what is likely a harmful situation. Maybe it’s not. That will be determined.
Anyway God bless your freeper foster friend.
How heartwarming.
Similarly, I'm sure Anon FReeper Mom recognizes that there are thousands of parents out there who are good, so therefore (by her logic) we can't question any of them. Of course, that would mean that we should return those children to their mothers, wouldn't it?
I have adopted the above tone of irony because I don't believe the Mom's claim that "[her] small foster care contribution to society is often scoffed at and even impugned here on FR." I believe that good foster-care contributions are celebrated, but that doesn't mean that the attitudes around them are always on-target, or that all foster-care families are like hers.
I know many foster parents who are good, loving, sacrificial people. They far outweigh the bad ones, whom I also know.
No system is perfect. Why does everyone expect foster care to be and vilify the good ones because of the actions of the very few.
Thanks to all those good, decent, hard working foster parents who are willing to live outside their comfort zones to give kids a chance who would otherwise have none.
My parents just started taking in foster kids this year (I guess having four of their own seven out of the house was too much). The little girls they’ve got have come from some awful sitations. One was taken from her mother at birth because, among other reasons, the mother decided to use crack to ease her labor pains. Another, at two, was severely underweight and her mother refused to give her pediasure like the doctor said because “she didn’t want her to get fat”. Of course there are other reasons that each of them was taken from their parents...
Now, I grew up homeschooled. I knew plenty of horror stories in the communities about CPS seizing kids, or harassing parents because neighbors called in saying their kids were truant. But on the other hand sometimes they do have to handle really bad situations, and the foster parents are mostly good people. Sure it’s not an ideal situation ever, but what is?
ping
Survey: Moms' work would bring in $138,095 a year
;^)
High five!
from an ex-CPS worker
It’s good that this person is a good foster mom..but unfortunately she is a minority.... the system is rife with abuse because it offers money for housing and feeding children.. there are too many foster homes and not enough caseworkers... here in my area alone, several children have been murdered and abused by foster parents.. when you put money into the mix, you invite greed and evil.. How about screening foster families more carefully?
AMEN!
Foster parents surrender far more of their rights, privacy, and time then the birth parent does. Yes not even the family pet is exempt. How about 10 weeks one night a week of parenting classes to care for your own grandkids whom you have known all their lives? Your home at any given moment can be inspected. Your life literally becomes an open book and they leave no pages unopened. How about Second Amendment? I sleep very lightly these days. A serious question especially if you are a foster parent. Many states require gun locks. Ammo locked up one place the weapon another. Hey never mind you are dealing with stalker parents with criminal records violence related in some cases. Don't be so quick to judge us till you've walked a few miles in our shoes. Three years ago even two or less I never dreamed it a possibility of doing what I do today. Life's realities dictated otherwise.
This is very true. There are many loving, godly foster parents who take on this responsibility as a genuine calling to help children. In fact, most foster parents are probably good people like this.
Definitely, I think foster care would be a better place for these children than a pedophile cult!
I just feel badly for the mothers too. Actually these mothers are probably abuse victims and their young children probably are not. Nobody ever said the 5-year-olds were molested but all these women were probably raped by old men when they were young teenagers. They are victims of this cult too. I hope they can be brought back into normal society and reunited with their children. If the pedophile men are kept away from them I think they can learn being good mothers. And there are many children who have been abused already who need the help of the foster families. I don’t like taking children away from their mothers who didn’t even do anything bad to them yet just because the mothers were born into a strange cult and raped. They deserve our sympathy and prayers.
But it is a sad, sad situation and whatever happens I am so glad the children will not grow up on this evil ranch.
I have mentioned on a few threads my own CPS experience a few weeks ago. A neighbor from the church I once belonged called because my children were outside during school hours. Had called because she thought they might be unsupervised (when I go out I will leave my 13 year old son to babysit and unless necessary I generally wait until after public school hours). And this person was “concerned” about the condition of our house. Most people I knew were shocked and angry that anyone would call CPS on my family. I called someone I had considered a friend from this church and she came back with, “It doesn’t matter who called. They were probably concerned.” Concerned is not calling CPS over something so frivilous. Even the CPS worker said it was a silly accusation, said if I was worried about them coming in she could make an appointment for four days later.
Everything I read said not to let them in. Other homeschoolers said the same thing and posted one of those CPS nightmare stories. Some suggested to only be completely positive and don’t say anything negative about the neighbor (who we knew about because my son saw the workers go to her house after ours). Some friends of ours who helped clean up (you can imagine what kind of messes four boys and a girl can make) our house said not to worry. My closest friend told me just to let them in and be honest. Even to tell them about this neighbor. Without really planning anything, of all the advice I was given, I ended up automatically following the advice of my closest friend.
When she was on the porch, the caseworker said unless there were evidence of drug use, taking our children was never an option. She said she knew how I felt, because she would be freaked out if CPS was at her door, too. She said there was no evidence of any problems, but she just needed to do a quick walk through and take care of paper work. She said education was the choice of parents and out children looked well taken care of. She said about half the calls they get are the results of custody issues, in-law problems, or neighbors like mine. And they have to investigate every one.
I always say everything happens for a reason. I think this happened so I know which people are really friends and so I can let others know what CPS is really like. At least, in Arizona. Someone on here said that Texas’s CPS is about the same as Arizona’s.
God bless our anonymous FReeper Mom and her family.
I know that the foster parent program is populated with many great, caring people who really care for the children placed with them, as I know many foster parents and foster kids.
The few, and I must emphasize FEW, bad apples in the mix make the news and stir things up.
Special thanks to the mysterious foster mom....you made my screen go all blurry! Prayers to you and your family.
Prayers to all these flds children, as well, that this experience leaves them better off than they were.
Now a woman down the street is a foster mom. No dad in the house, just her and her teenaged daughter who has a toddler of her own. They take in autistic kids. This is a home where I would not let my children play because of the poor supervision by the mom. Last year one of her charges got upset and ran off. He was six years old and his teen aged sister was looking all over the neighborhood for him. The foster mother could not be bothered - she told the girl, "It will be dark soon. He'll get scared and come home." Yes, she has been reported by neighbors, but somehow she still has foster kids at her house.
I know there are many good foster parents, but would you want your kids in a system where they have a chance of being placed with my neighbor?
Thank you so much for posting this. I too know some foster parents, and they have all been fine parents and lovely people. Do other kinds exist? Certainly. And of course, they make the news...
susie