Deer Senuhter Bahrock — HALP!
by JohnHuang2
It’s great to see Jeremiah Wright back from retirement now writing Obama’s speeches. Or maybe 20 years of ‘God Damn America’ sermons which Obama accidentally didn’t hear infected him anyway. If you’re Obama, you go into these towns like San Francisco, and like a lot of other places such as Berkeley and Madison, filled with deranged liberals, whose delusions fell through the “Gore administration” and the “Kerry administration”, neither of which actually happened, and each successive campaign has said that somehow liberalism is going to regenerate and it has not. So it’s not surprising, then, that libbies get bitter, they cling to abortion or evolution or antipathy to mouth-breathing, six-fingered nukkel-dragin church goh-ing gunn-klinging skripsure-reeding Bibel-thuhmping hiks like me as a way to eksplain theeir own frustrashens.
Oh dear. I deeply regret those remarks. Slip of the lips. I misspoke at 11:00 at night and I was exhausted after campaigning in a combat zone, digging up landmines under sniper fire — oops, wrong candidate.
To win the blue-collar vote in Pennsylvania, Obama rode his campaign bus for a week and bowled “37”. But now he’s a renowned authority on small towns because of that bus he rode. (Just like Howard Dean became an authority on the Book of Job, ‘the one in the New Testament,’ because he read three Bible verses once.) At a fundraiser in the American heartland of San Francisco, the national uniter said that yokels in small towns go to church because the economy is bad and are bitter because they worship God and not liberals and go hunting because they have lousy jobs. And these typical white people are guilty racists.
It’s remarks like that which make me bitter. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I must clean my evil Smith & Wesson. No, wait. Time to cling to a Bible. I’m so bitter!
Being supposedly the ‘greatest’ orator since Abraham Lincoln, Obama now says he made a poor choice of words and that he didn’t mean that small-town Americans are gun-toting xenophobes and Jesus freaks, that he really only meant that small-town America is bitter, and that the bitterness drives them to become gun-toting, xenophobes and Jesus freaks, and he also says he deeply regrets if anyone got offended, because branding small-town Americans as bitter gun-toting xenophobes and Jesus freaks was meant in a good way, since “these traditions that are passed on from generation to generation, those are important, that’s what sustains us,” so he also stands by his choice of words because he says they’re “true”. Got that?
So, putting this idiotic theory to the test, Obama got bitter, clung to Trinity United Church and antipathy to people who aren’t like him (whitey) because of bitter economic destitution as a student at Columbia University????? Then there’s the grinding poverty at Harvard. Then it’s the back-alley shack of the Illinois Senate. Or was it his tough life in Hawaii?????
And if people own guns because they’re bitter, why doesn’t Michelle Obama? Barack Obama himself writes in Dreams of My Father that it wasn’t the squalor and being oppressed at Harvard that made him go to church, it was the sermons by that other great uniter, Jeremiah Wright. Especially that racial-healing sermon about “white folks’ greed runs a world in need” — i.e., “Audacity of Hope”.
Libbies absurdly spent weeks trying to explain what John Kerry really meant when he told college kids that if you don’t study hard, you end up stuck in Iraq. What seneter Jon Carry really, really meant is that u get stuck in Irak if u go-it-alone in Irak instead of ‘studying hard’ — meaning building a coalition to invade Irak! Several years before that, libbies idiotically spent months explaining that it depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is, then lost the 2000 elections. Building on this success, now the Obama droids are trying to frame this by clinging to ‘bitter’ — Obama’s Controversial Comments About ‘Bitter’ Voters — accidentally leaving out the racism/xenophobia/Jesus/gun part.
Then a poll was released Monday showing voters accidentally picking up on the racism/xenophobia/Jesus/gun part that the Obamagandists innocently left out. Rasmussen reports that 56 percent “of voters nationwide disagree with Barack Obama’s statement that people in small towns ‘cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.’” Obama insists he’s not out of touch, so that’s 56 percent out of touch with Obama. In the poll, a humongous, epic, colossal, mammoth 25 percent agree with Obama and moron Jack Cafferty of CNN.
What Obama said in San Francisco didn’t stay in San Francisco because it’s his nutty liberal ideas in a nutshell. To libbies, primitive things like going to church, guns, hunting, beer, going to NASCAR, not voting for pompous asses like Obama — all wither away once government “grows” jobs and raises taxes (always keys to prosperity), as our comrade and great thinker Karl Marx taught us. Plug in the right amount of central planning, “equal” income “distribution”, ergo, no more ‘small towns’, no more opiate, gun-huggers get morphed into enlightened Obamas and San Franciscans, voting for pompous asses like Obama. They shall melt guns into hammers and sickles!
But, alas, the redneck proletarians keep voting the GOP capitalist running dogs into office, ‘against their true interests’ — which liberals define as voters voting for liberals to have their taxes raised and their “universal” health care run by the post office. Dear Government, please take over health care and raise my federal, state and local taxes, I’m not paying enough!
Obama, to rephrase Obama, can no more disown Marxism than he can his racist crazy uncle Jeremiah, who — by coincidence — taught neo-Marxist “black liberation theology,” which — in another coincidence — believes Jesus was black. Next we’ll hear Karl Marx was black.
Every election cycle Democrats complain hysterically that the Rethugs want to make every election about guns and God — so Democrats leap to make this election about guns and God. Obama would fake out the voters with the scripted poll-tested ‘values’ stuff, with brief ‘time-offs’ in the comfort zones of closed fundraisers and no cameras rolling — except this time he got busted by Karl Rove’s tape recorder! But, don’t worry, don’t be bitter, maybe another ‘historic’ ‘electrifying’ speech, this time with two rows of American flags instead of just one. A national dialogue on misspoken statements. Or, ‘What I Said At The Fundraiser But Didn’t Hear.’ Or maybe the missus should give another patriotic speech. Or how about chomping down a cheesesteak on camera? Or more bowling like a girl? Or . . .
Anyway, that’s...
My Two Cents
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~ 