Posted on 02/22/2008 12:40:21 PM PST by Jim Jones Kool-Aid
Hazard!!! Turn television off when sleeping!!!
:Please excuse my writing skills. I am not a writer and I am not attempting to pass myself off as one. I just enjoy sharing my mind.:
Today I woke up to my alarm clock going off. It's 6:30am, Monday morning so I turned on the radio to hear what the weather would be like today, only to find that there was only one station working. Some station called the "American Broadcasting Service". On the morning show there was some soft-spoken guy talking about how he enjoys cooking and cleaning for his wife and how he loves taking care of the kids while his sinificant other "brings home the bacon".
I turn the radio off and hop in the shower only to find that there is no "Hot" and "Cold" knobs. There is only a "Warm" knob. So I pay it no attention and take my shower. Five minutes into my shower, the water abrubtly cuts off and I see a warning timer flashing on the wall the bathroom that states I only have 15 minutes of shower time left for the month. I look at to the right of the timer and there is a scrolling L.E.D. stating that I must purchase more "Sewage Offsets" to gain more shower time. So, I get out of the shower - dry off, get dressed - and I am off to work.
I head down the street to my local coffee shop, to my disappointment it isn't there. It has been replaced by a drab, hollow coffee shop called the ACP Local 27 (American Coffee Post). I order my usual, a double espresso, heavy on the sugar. The server points to a small menu posted over his head. The menu reads, "Reg. Coffee w/one sugar or Decaf. Coffee w/ one sugar". I decide to go to another coffee shop and ask the server where the next closest shop is.
He says to me, "There is the Local 28 one block up and a Local 29, two blocks down."
I explain to him that I want to go to a shop not owned by the people who own this shop. He laughs. "This is the only place to get coffee in the U.S." he informs me.
"Whatever. Give me a coffee with three sugars. I'm running late", I say to him.
Then he informs me that the government has limited sugar consumption to one package per costumer. " But I know a guy who can get you a couple of packages for a good price" he adds.
"Just give me the coffee. I have to go", I say in a aggravated tone. He gives me the coffee and tells me that it is on him. "Thanks----for nothing", I say under my breath.
I continue my walk down the street and proceed to hail a cab. "Where you going?", the cabby asks me.
"16th and Columbia" I tell him.
As I ride, I look at the cars that are passing me and all I see are cabs and buses. I ask the cabby why is there only buses and cabs on the roads. He tells me that only diplomats, politicians, and elites - who can afford carbon credits - are the only people who can drive personal vehicles.
"What is going on...", I think to myself.
We pull up to the entrance of my job. "Okay, that will be 52 credits.", he says.
"Credits?", I say, confused.
"That's what I said.", he says.
I reach in my pocket and pull out what looks to be a credit card and hand it to the cabby. He swipes it and says,"Have a great day."
He hands it back to me and I take a look at it. The card reads, "American Access Card. The one card for all your needs."
As I exit the cab and enter my workplace I notice pictures posted all over the building and all the other buildings in the vicinity. I move closer to read the slogan over top of the picture. It reads, "A Socialized Nation. A Progressive America." I look down at the picture and to my horror I see....... Al Gore. "In Gore We Trust".
NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
"RINGGGG!!!", the alarm sounds. I pop out of the bed in a cold sweat. It was only a dream. I wonder to myself what would make me have a dream like that.
I look up. "Damn, I left my TV on all night tuned into MSNBC."
I feel like that when watching that insipid channel. Gives me shivers down my leg...
I fell asleep on the couch once and accidentally laid on the DirecTV remote. When I woke up I had accidentally purchased 10 hours of porn. Honest! It happened!............
Your writing skills are fine.
Thank you for the clever piece.
If your not writing comedy for a living, quit your day job.
I’ve had some odd dreams myself.
Being chased by NYPD, seeing two very close celestial bodies...
It’s weird to say the least. Don’t sleep watching that channel, at least.
Summing it up, I’d say the last thing you thought of was 1984.
The wife really buy that?
10 hours wasted... ?
Excellent.
For good dreams, sleep to talk radio all night... :)
I read your FReeper profile and at first, I thought you were Barack Obama. LOL!
I liked your dream!
No......
ROFLOL. Scary part is, I could see this happening with the Dim’s in control of everything. Very good writing skills by the way.
If you fall asleep to Art Bell, you wake up with a tin foil body wrap...........
Tonight, turn on the Sci-Fi channel and get back to us with a report in the morning. ;-)
haha!!! check my tagline
Where in Prince Georges county are you from? I went to high school at Oxon Hill and Friendly, off Indian Head highway.
Nice job.....
Oh please, you said that last time and nobody believed you then. Why don't you just drop the charade and admit that you are really Thomas Sowell?
I can’t go to sleep without my tv on.
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