Posted on 01/21/2008 7:12:51 PM PST by B-Chan
[CAUTION: CONTAINS VULGAR LANGUAGE]
Knees knocked last week from sea to shining sea as the shape-shifting monster of economic reality cut a swathe of destruction through the markets and financial ranks. The exact nature of this giant beast still remained largely concealed in a fog of accounting gambits, policy blusters, and reporting dodges, but a few intrepid scouts who glimpsed the behemoth up close said it looked like Godzilla with Herbert Hoover's face.
George W. Bush tried to appease the beast by offering each American adult the dollar equivalent of half a month's mortgage payment -- with the exhortation to drive forthwith to the nearest WalMart and blow it on salad shooters and plasma TV's -- but Hooverzilla just laughed at the offering and pounded the equity markets further into the dust of loss, while the "bank-like" guardians of wealth lay in the drainage ditches bleeding from their ears and eyes.
My favorite moment was seeing Treasury Secretary Paulson and one of his fellow shaved-head deputies at a press conference rostrum frantically trying to calm the news media rabble like a couple of extraplanetary high priests from a Star Trek episode -- the batteries having run down in their laser wands, and their incantations ("liquidity! liquidity!) veering into mystifying glossolalia.
I resort to such admitted extreme hyperbole because it may be the only language that an infotainment-drunk society can still process in the face of an epochal calamity that will transform the lush terms of everyday life as we've known it into something like a bleak surrealist landscape in the manner of Tanguy. That crashing sound out there is the armature of confidence needed to support an economy based on faith that borrowed money will be paid back. It's as simple as that. (Doesn't seem so exciting now, does it?)
The United States is so broke, its people at every level from the Federal Reserve on down don't know whether to shit or go blind. The homeowners cringing in the media rooms of their 5000-square-foot personal family resorts don't know how long they can stay put microwaving pepperoni hot pockets with the default clock ticking. The mortgage "servicers" don't know how they will persuade interested parties like, say, the Illinois State Cafeteria Workers' Pension Fund (holder of X-amount of mortgage-backed securities underwritten by, say, Merrill Lynch or Deutsche Bank) to foreclose on properties scattered everywhere from Key West to Bainbridge Island -- or if there is actually any legal mechanism known to man that would make it possible to "work out" the sliced-and-diced collateral. The millions of maxed-out credit card holders and the issuers of their plastic are stuck together paddling a leaky tub in a sea of troubles every bit as wide, deep, and polluted as the one the mortgage junkies and their enablers are sinking in. The developers of malls, office parks, and power centers are weeping into their filing cabinets as the harsh daylight of insolvency stops the orgy of "consumption" and the retail tenants pack up their unsellable goodies for the liquidators, and the rent checks stop arriving in the mail, and the notes on this mall and that mall enter the eerie realm of "non-performance." And, of course, there are the genius wonder boyz and Wall Street playerz whose algorithms and turpitudes underwrote the script of this horror show -- for all I know they'll end up laughing into sugary skull drinks on a beach in the Cayman Islands, or doing Chinese fire drills in federal prison (or simply ass-fucked on the granite countertops of their Tribecca aeries by mobs of angry, repossessed, swindled former American dreamers pouring into Manhattan from the tract house dormitories of New Jersey and Long Island).
There's a lot to be concerned about out there. I don't mean to be too cute about it. But, as the master once said, nothing is funnier than unhappiness.
A whole closet full of "other shoes" is now waiting to be dropped. Surely the biggest clodhoppers in the closet belong to the hedge funds, representing trillions and trillions of dollar-denominated "positions" which, however hallucinatory, had previously yielded enough real "money" year-by-year to keep all the realtors and Humvee dealers in the Hamptons goose-stepping to Goldman Sachs's drumbeat. These "positions" can't help now from moving into counterparty crisis territory, especially as the bond insurers such as MBIA and Ambac go up in a vapor, and if that happens the damage could be so colossal globally that Stephen Hawking might have to be brought in to run the Federal Reserve.
This is going to be a rough week. Fastening your seat belts may not be enough for this ride. Better superglue yourselves to the floorboards and pray for God's mercy.
my retirement funds are a differant matter, but the everyday universe is OKAY...
Just so you know I’m not hitting abuse but this thread ain’t gonna’ last...
HOw about drilling on our own land where we KNOW billions of BBL’s in proven reserves lie? ANWR, the Beaufirt and Chuchki Sea, off the coast of California, and in large parts of the Gulf which are presetnly off limits. Also, how about actually building neuclear plants, a technology we invented and is now being developed on a massive scale overseas, mostly supplied by our buddies the French and Japanese. On that note, how about investing in ‘clean coal’ since we have 1000 years+ supply of coal?”
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Well, what’s the answer? Why haven’t we? Spell it out for this simple one.
I agree. I have always said the President tomorrow can bring an end to the high oil prices and instability by doing two things.
1) Declare by executive order an energy emergency. Drill ANWAR and bring that oil to market within 12 months. It will be a massive undertaking, but can be done. It can be a joint gov-private venture. Details can be worked out.
2)At the same time, launch a Manhattan Project to develop a workable new energy source that can be incorporated into existing infrastructure within" X" period. One of the aspects of the new energy source is that it can be used with existing vehicles with minor and inexpensive upgrades.
Why would he do that? He’s from an oil money family, his clan and the Saudis gel nicely. He has no problem with oil companies making a fortune.
Why not?
“save the economy by pumping money into ‘green collar’ jobs”
I damn near fell out of my chair laughing when she said that...
That guy doesn’t like us negative nancy types. Although I wonder where Hydroshock is and what he is doing right now. Admins can’t hide the news anymore than Thompson can pull ahead and get the nomination.
Here, Here..
Not true. I actually agree with you negative nancys. I just don’t think the language in the article will survive the moderators.
Look, I lost 40 grand in my retirement savings just over the past few weeks. It will go up again. People say, oh you should get your money out of stocks. Well if the country crumbles like it did in 29’ it doesn’t matter WHERE you have your money (unless it’s under your mattress). In fact, that is where my grandmother kept hers. She lived through the first depression and is probably smarter than all of us.
This looks bad and tomorrow may tell us more about where the economy is headed.
Another reason for Fred Thompson.
If the economy crumbles like 29, it really, really matters where you have your money. Insured accounts are a good bet.
GARRRRRGGHHHHH
The expression is "Hear, hear" — meaning "listen, everyone!" — not "here, here", which means nothing and makes no sense.
Sorry. Pet peeve.
Oh haha well Ambac is about to be a new five letter word.
I’m lucky ( I think? ) I’m very young with no real market position or anything. Have a few K in an IRA with M.Lynch they just had a nice big 20+ billion dollar write down. I think the Admins are all out drinking like the rest of us because tomorrow we all face the music.
I don’t really know how this happened. It seems everyone had the same bright idea to play the markets and assumed no one else would hire the same quants to make the same models to do the same thing. Now there is gonna be a lot of runs to get rid of (former)AAA paper ... can’t help but notice who just started a new bond outfit. Warren Buffet! Ok Admins might shut us down for getting tinfoil hat if I’m not careful.
I got out of the market several months ago and sank our money into home improvements. Since we live in a modestly-priced, modestly-sized house with a fixed-rate mortgage, I am confident that my investment is safe. Later, when the economy recovers, I can sell the house and recoup my equity, or just continue to live in it.
No, quite literally, it means “here, here”. Meaning in the carnival parlance, “right here, right now”. :)
Ok anyone wanna take a guess at what Helicopter Ben is gonna pull tomorrow? I’m thinking announcement of nothing more then 1/2 point cut this week followed by a quarter later in the month.
I predict a Federal buy-in to keep Wall Street from soiling itself. The Plunge Protection Team is warming up the money presses even as we speak.
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