Posted on 10/23/2007 6:50:10 PM PDT by qam1
Jerry Syrovatka says that at 51 he can still run circles around his 8-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son.
But who knows how long that will last?
The Weston Ranch resident is part of a growing phenomenon among baby boomers: men who father children well past the age of 40.
"I'm in construction, so I can keep up with the big guys and the little guys," Syrovatka said. "I still got the old spunk in me."
There's a joy to fatherhood no matter when someone has a child, but many Americans are waiting longer. Research shows the percentage of married men having children at 40 or older has nearly tripled over the past two decades, from 5 percent in 1984 to 14 percent in 2004. That includes such famous figures as Rod Stewart and Larry King.
Men older than 40, however, also have a growing list of potential complications to consider before welcoming a new tyke to the fold.
Researchers from Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York found the rate of autistic children is six times higher for men older than 40 than for dads in their 20s. Previous studies by the same researchers linked advanced paternal age with lower intelligence scores and schizophrenia.
Down syndrome cases occur in 60 out of every 10,000 births when both parents are 40 or older. That's six times the national average.
A couple of reasons stand out for older men fathering children, said Dr. Mohit Khera, a professor of urology at Baylor University.
The first is divorce, after which some men remarry younger women and start a second family.
The second is a general trend toward waiting until midlife - when educational goals have been attained and a career started - before marrying and fathering children.
As for the risks, Khera said the science is not all in but belief within the urological community is that DNA cells weaken with age and damage the genetic information contained therein. The impaired cells are passed on during fertilization. Research is ongoing, he said.
And yet, fathers say, the rewards are well worth the risks.
"The pro side of my situation is that I have wisdom younger people don't have, I have earning ability younger people don't have and I'm able see things better than younger people do," said Paul Mitchell, 51, who subrogates claims for an insurance company in Citrus Heights. Mitchell is dad to Rocky, 8, and Chenice, 3.
That jibes with research author Debbie Mandel has done on this subject. She said older parents often see kids as a higher priority than younger ones, taking time to attend a school play or go on a field trip. Dads in middle age usually have the emotional makeup to handle parenting better than men in their 20s.
"Children benefit from a parent who has a sense of self, who made mistakes and grew and as a result he can help a child grow up happy and confident," Mandel said. "He knows the route."
Additionally, today's older fathers are more physically fit than men in their 40s a generation ago, she said. They can still expend the energy needed to cart around a toddler.
"At the end of the day, I still had energy and everyone else was pooped," Syrovatka said of a recent family trip to San Diego.
Mitchell gets up before dawn to workout and ensure he has the stamina to take care of his two children. Otherwise, he said, he'd be falling asleep on the couch before the kids go to bed.
Mark Rogers is a professor at The Chicago School of Professional Psychology and specializes in family law, domestic relations, and parenting. He also is father to a 21-year-old son, Dillon, from his first marriage and 5-year-old son, Jake, from his current marriage.
"This is an area of interest for me personally but also professionally," he said. "It's one I've wrestled with."
Rogers, 51, said children benefit from parents who are able to mentor more than discipline. That ability often comes with age.
"You can have rich discussions and meaningful bonding with fathers in their later ages," he said. "You can relate on many levels because you've been there."
And yet, being there for the long haul may be biggest question older dads worry over. That is, whether they will live long enough to witness their children's major milestones: high school and college graduation, marriages and the birth of a grandchild.
"I figure I've got to make it to at least 70," Mitchell said.
Women choose.
This must be near the height of self-indulgent selfishness — to intentionally have children even knowing you may well never live to see them graduate from college, marry or get their first job. How completely selfish. But then, the baby boom generation always have plowed through life as if the world revolved around them.
How completely and totally selfish. Gone are the days when older men fathered children as fast as possible to keep the farm going or because the bible said to do so or because birth control was unheard of. That just is not the case today. Yet we have 55 year old men fathering children and 55 year old women getting in vitro fertilization, and making children they never should have had.
“Look how wonderfully selfish we can be!” I’m sure the excuse is, they just wanted to have all the financial ducks in a row before bringing a baby into this world. Yeah. Right. Suuuuure.
I’m not saying all these men will drop dead at 75 years old, but face it, a LOT of men never live to see their 70th birthday. You have a kid at 51 or 55, and good luck seeing your child graduate from high-school, let alone college. And if Mom is in her 50s as well, I’m sure your kids are going to be THRILLED when you both kick the bucket before they turn 30, and get to spend another 40 years or more on the planet without the company of their parents. Gee, just swell.
What new trend are the boomers up to next to completely screw up US society? I’m sure they will think of something equally selfish.
Fred Thompson will be 80 plus when his younger children are in high school. What a shame that he will probably never see a college graduation or wedding!
that was my reaction.
wife-o-buckhead
Predictable.
Noone bashing men or scolding them for “being old” when they sire kids.
Not like the women threads, where we’re all scolded as selfish and morally corrupt for not having children at age 20 (really, they don’t even seem to like 30yo moms).
That IS Tony Randall?
I thought he was supposed to be gay?
When all my kids were born, they were very young. I must be the exception to the rule.
That’s really neat that you have a grandma still alive, and over 100!
This is fun! (BTW, I’m pregnant finally, age 38.)
Dad: alive, 69
Dad’s Dad: 98 (and sharp as a tack until the last year; can’t remember “why”, probably just general shut-down)
Dad’s Mom: 83 (rheumatoid arthritis, ????)
Mom: alive, 70
Mom’s Dad: 84 (general shut-down; had Alzheimer’s badly)
Mom’s Mom: 80 (found comatose with large leg gash, died few months later)
Besides the fact I’m struggling alot with GI problems since I got married the other year, my prospects for longevity are reasonable if I overcome them.
That’s wonderful! My grandma says it’s fun to be over 100, if you have all your marbles (which she does) because you can get away with anything when people know you are that old; sleep in church, argue with the doctor, hang up on obnoxious callers, curse at telemarketers, etc.
She is kidding, of course.
She is a very sweet lady and is wonderful with the hordes of grandchildren, great grandchildren, and so on. She still lives in her own, btw.
Iirc, Randall was 77 when his daughter was born. I am an older father myself but 77 is way over the line. As I mentioned in my #56, we believed that I have a good enough of chance of making it to 75 to justify having another child at 53.
Nobody has that kind of chance of making 100, which is just about what Randall would have had to do to be making a responsible decision. Sure enough, he didn’t make it.
I was 41 when I had Junior. So far so good....
If you read the tombstones from the 1800s very few fathers lived to see their children graduate from college, if the children even got the chance. They did live long enough to see their wedding and first job though as these occurred at about age 15. Life was short and sweet back then.
Having children is not usually a selfish act. It's the gift of life.
I felt the same as you until one day I decided its the thing to do.
Well, women having babies in their sixties.. there may be something to be said for older/wiser parenthood, but personally I liked growing up with youthful parents. Would have been odd to have a 70+ geriatric as a dad in high school..
Continued selfishness of Americans. Nobody can tell me that having parents that are 70 when you are graduating from high school is a good thing. I find it repulsive and selfish. More slipping down the slop of no morals this country continues to show almost daily.
There is one result of older people having kids. I have read that it will cause the average age of the population to increase. My youngest child is a High School Senior this year. It is difficult to play football with him since I have a shattered vertebra and an arm that has been torn apart. I still could do most of the things he wants me to do if I hadn’t been injured. I am 63, have 4 children with the oldest being 33.
Not in my ‘hood.
63 - Senior in High School is not even close to what this story is about.
That is odd, I have been accused of being selfish because of my age.
Doesn't he bear a remarkable similarity to Tony Randall?
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