[IslandJeff]

Dr. Keyes, please don’t do this. Write a book instead. Settle for a Congressional seat.

If you need to pay off past campaign debt, just level with us.

[DoughtyOne]

This just in. Republican party faithful have since kicked the hat on out of the ring.

NEVERMIND

[guinnessman]

Oh brother!

[DoughtyOne]

Alan, isn’t this your third strike?

[Darkwolf377]

on the nationally syndicated Janet Parshall radio program

What nation would that be?

[BurbankKarl]

I would rather vote for Alicia Keyes.

[DoughtyOne]

Cub Reporter:  Mr. Keyes, we're hear with three people who voted for you in 2004.  How is your campaign going this year?

Keyes: First of all, I need to set the record straight.  Those are THE three people who voted for me in 2004.  Now as you can tell, we're doing better this campaign.  It's fourteen months until the election and we've already attracted the numbers we had last time.  We're hoping to do much better this go-round.

Cub Reporter: Mr. Keyes, do your really plan on campaigning right up until the primaries next spring?

Keyes: Well, we tend to think of it more like eating our way across the nation.  Coffee shops, hair parlors, pool halls, animal shelters... you've no doubt read about our groundbreaking way of attracting voters during prior election cycles.

Cub Reporter:  But Mr. Keyes, do you really think you're going to be more competitive this year?  Why?

Keyes: As I've already stated, we already have numbers as large as our vote from 2004.  Of course we'll have to reaccess as time goes by, but I don't see our numbers slipping much before the primaries.

Cub Reporter:  Well Mr. Keyes, it's been nice talking to you.  Say over there, is that one of your campaign posters on the back of Thompson's bus?

Keyes: It's been nice talking to you as well.  I'm sorry but we're going to have to get headed to our next stop-over...

Keyes: Okay girls, into the VW Bus.  Here comes Thompson and he doesn't look happy...

[Nachoman]

For such a brilliant man, he sure seems to be a slow learner.

[Redcloak]

Somebody throw it back!

[jwparkerjr]

He and Newt would make a great ticket. Not a snowball’s chance in hell of being elected, but it sure would liven up the debates. I have a deep and abiding affection for both of them and I do not want to see them suffer the beating they will take by being candidates. They have too much to offer our nation in this critical time period to waste it by trying to be elected. I pray that both of them will use their genius to work within the system, but outside the elective process.

[Elle Bee]

'Harold Stassen Reincarnated' .... John Fund

.

[nyyankeefan]

Alan Keyes Now Throws Hat into Republican Presidential Nomination Race....he ain’t going anywhere!!!!!

[13Sisters76]

I like this man very much. I voted for him in the primaries even though I knew he couldn’t win. But with him in the debates, some “mainstream” candidates just may sweat a little.

[StonyBurk]

Dr.Keyes opperates at a frequency most American cannot even
aspire to. As with Roy S.Moore and a few others his moral
ethic shames too many weaker than he.I doubt he could win
a popular vote —but he remains a saint.

[Spiff]

He ran for Maryland Senate in 1992, 1998; the White House in 1996, 2000; then in 2004 relocated to Illinois to make an unsuccessful challenge to Barack Obama for Senate

A 5-time loser. This will be his 6th. Stupid is as stupid does.

[Winged Hussar]

Didn't Keyes run against Saddam Hussein Obama in 2004? You do realize that if more people had voted for Keyes, we would not have the following problem.

And in case they nominate Hillary instead of Obama bin Laden:

[CJ Wolf]

Way to go Alan. Welcome to the circus.