Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators

Wall Street Journal ^ | September 6, 2007 | JEFF ZASLOW

[decimon]

These days, if Rian Romoli accidentally bumps into a child, he quickly raises his hands above his shoulders. "I don't want to give even the slightest indication that any inadvertent touching occurred," says Mr. Romoli, an economist in La Cañada Flintridge, Calif.

Ted Wallis, a doctor in Austin, Texas, recently came upon a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. He walked away. "Being male," he explains, "I am guilty until proven innocent."

In San Diego, retiree Ralph Castro says he won't allow himself to be alone with a child -- even in an elevator.

Cont...

[decimon]

Just read your last reply. Didn’t mean to beat the thing to death.

[metmom]

My husband avoids interaction with kids like the plague so’s not to be accused of anything inappropriate.

When it’s time to take my daughter’s friends home, I’m the one who does it and even then I insist that she accompany me, but that’s merely a courtesy thing.

If my husband absolutely has to take them home, she absolutely has to be with him.

[SampleMan]

Hey, one of the problems with having a penis is that you fall in that demographic which includes the vast majority of criminals.

Most porn stars and prostitutes have a vagina. Should we therefore teach boys to treat all women as such until proven otherwise?

[spunkets]

"I see too many parents who are the type who would fabricate a charge at the drop of a hat in order to either hit the lawsuit lottery or just because they like destroying other people (same parents also seem to still have junior high mentalities)."

Those are your dems. They'll be voting for the 'toon's wife, because she'll ahve more to offer.

[philetus]

I wouldn’t hire a male sitter, unless he was a trusted family member.”

I wouldn’t trust you with my grand children or my dog.

[Secret Agent Man]

Yup life is unfair, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let someone get by with trying to pass off half-truths and lies as fact.

[decimon]

The replies are becoming a bit heated. Why don’t we all kiss and make up and press charges against each other. :-)

[Skywalk]

Islam is an ideology, though I do think that the ideology lends itself towards fanatical violence and systematic oppression, I think a lot of people make the mistake of believing that an individual Muslim is out to hurt them.

But again, you’re talking a set of beliefs, culture and history compared to what sex people are born.

[SampleMan]

The level of stupidity can be astounding.

Out of curiosity, why do you call a woman that purposely endangers a child stupid?

Would you call a man that willfully exposes a child to a sociopath for his personal gain "stupid" or would you call him a miscreant?

This is precisely the double standard that men like me shake our heads at. There is a willingness to find a woman to be a victim, even when she is the perpetrator.

How many husbands have you ever heard get off of a murder charge because they were overwrought? Shall we start counting the number of women that have gotten off or very light sentences for killing their husband and/or children?

When a woman drowns her five children, her mental status immediately becomes the focus. Not so with men.

[Fishtalk]

Now here’s something interesting.

I’m not going to quote you but anyone interested can go back and read, but I agree with you completely. And I agree with whoever posted the quote on which you commented.

I think that females are not meant to steer a society. Estrogen does not save the tribe, culture, country or continent. Males should be doing that. There are exceptions of course but touchy feely ain’t gonna do it.

That being said, the female rocks the cradle that rules the world. Don’t forget that.

[Finny]

When I was younger I was well aware that meeting me on a deserted street at night was a scary experience for a young woman. I would cross the street away from her to make her more comfortable. That said, I also knew that I was her best defense at that particular moment.

SampleMan, you sound like a MAN. God bless you.

In time of trouble, men are women's friends most of the time. MEN. Women who grew up comfortable with boys and men understand how priceless, how invaluable, how necessary to survival real MEN are.

I suggest that women who grew up comfortable with boys and men are also most likely to put-down or deflect most male predators because they see men more on the level, rather than through glasses of fear. And it starts in girlhood -- Scotswife, your line of thinking does untold ill to girls and women.

Two silly 14-year-old girls (redundant, I know) have befriended two 14-year-old boys at a mountain summer lake over the course of five or six days. The four decide to go on a mini-hike away from the lake, and a fair distance from the lake, one of the boys suddenly pulls out a knife and instructs the girls to take their clothes off.

The girl who fears "penises" becomes like jelly. The girl who grew up around and loving boys and men looks at the kid with the knife, basically tells him, "In your dreams, pal," grabs girlfriend, and heads back to the lake. That's as far as it goes -- one more adventure over a pretty neat summer, from the teen girls' point of view.

Boys will be boys and the bad ones eventually get their asses kicked by the good ones, God willing. You thank God for the good ones like SampleMan, and remember they come in all shapes and sizes -- just because a guy is a sissy tenderfoot doesn't mean he isn't a man. Men are our only protectors in civilization. Women must love and trust men as we expect men to love and trust us.

[Nowhere Man]

My buddy had a problem with a former girlfriend where she had 3 kids and she wanted him to do something, can’t remember, but he did’t so to get back at my buddy, she called the cops and accused him of abusing her kids physically. He was arrested and spent the night in the county jail. The next day, his girlfriend’s father told the authorities the truth that my buddy didn’t abuse the kids and the charges were dropped. You got to be careful out there.

[TChad]

Part of the problem here is that the basic statistics of child molestation are never reported. What percentage of men are child molesters? One tenth of a percent? Five percent? Specific numbers would give people a much better idea of the appropriate level of suspicion to apply to male strangers. I want good quality data, not feminist fantasy.

Like the men quoted in the article, I dislike having to avoid kids in public, but I carefully do so. I avoid even looking at kids for more than a few seconds. Too many people I have met, particularly liberal women, seem to regard all males as potential molesters. In post-feminist America, some forms of misandry still flourish.

[decimon]

You got to be careful out there.

I guess so. It's hard to imagine that someone like the girlfriend could do something so rotten but it happens.

[Finny]

Why do normally intelligent conservative males go bonkers at common sense stuff like this.

Because it isn't common sense.

[decimon]

What percentage of men are child molesters? One tenth of a percent? Five percent? Specific numbers would give people a much better idea of the appropriate level of suspicion to apply to male strangers.

Good questions but my understanding is that molesters are far more likely to be familiar than to be strangers. Makes sense when you consider who can gain access to the kids.

[Finny]

...most rapes are committed by the males in this society.

Case in point of demonstrated lack of common sense.

Here's another point: Most airplane crashes are caused by gravity. Common sense to point it out???

[nothingnew]

That being said, the female rocks the cradle that rules the world. Don’t forget that.

I will never forget that. It is with the utmost respect I honor the woman's most important place in this world.

FMCDH(BITS)

[Fishtalk]

Mr. Finny,

I’ve said my piece.

Of course you are right.

For you to continue on is to skirt being down right mean.

[BigCinBigD]

All children should be raised by the state on remote farms. Educated and released at 21 in to the population. ;)