Avoiding Kids: How Men Cope With Being Cast as Predators

Wall Street Journal ^ | September 6, 2007 | JEFF ZASLOW

[LoneRangerMassachusetts]

Evidently you don’t understand the notion of tongue in cheek.

It’s okay. We all can’t be as smart as me.

Let me use syllogistic reasoning to understand you.

Fishtalk speaks tongue in cheek.
Fishtalk says no one is as smart as he.
Conclusion, No one is as stupid as Fishtalk.

Ok, I get it.

[Wolfie]

Just another day in ever-degrading America. Won’t help a lost kid? We deserve what’s coming.

[DoughtyOne]

I’m checking out as many different studies as I can right now. I have to retract my comment I made earlier, because some of the findings I quoted, seemed to be bogus. I checked out the original studies and found that claims based on them were not accurate.

It does seem that the ratio seems to be about 60/40 with males committing the most homicides of spouses or live-in partners.

Several other categories are not flattering to women at all, but for this category I think you were closer to the truth than I was.

When it comes to sentencing for homicides of spouses, look out guys. Women get sentenced to about ten years less time, and they are considerably more likely to get probation than a man. It is also notable that charges are way more likely to be dropped against a woman than a man that has been charged.

I’ll come back and make some further comments by the time I’m done.

Thanks.

[Finny]

... the female rocks the cradle that rules the world. Don’t forget that.

For all my posts -- I sure agree with you on that! And THANKS for the reminder!

[Fishtalk]

I stand in awe at your cleverness.

[decimon]

All children should be raised by the state on remote farms. Educated and released at 21 in to the population. ;)

Or islands similar to leper colonies. From age 13 to 21.

[Fishtalk]

It does seem that the ratio seems to be about 60/40 with males committing the most homicides of spouses or live-in partners.

I gotta go on that show Power of 10. I'd be a millionaire over night.

[DoughtyOne]

I like that show, but I think Deal or no Deal is the best for making a big haul. That’s kindof a strange thing to say when someone has already won $1 million on The Power of Ten, but the average on the Power of Ten is much lower IMO.

[SoldierDad]

As a School Psychologist who often works one-on-one with children I too am always cognizant of the possible risks of my profession with respect to false accusations. I’ve thought on more than one occasion that perhaps I should find other work just because of that risk. It’s a frightening thought - being accused of inappropriate behavior with a child - especially when there seems to be so much of that happening these days. It’s a sad world we often are living in.

[M.K. Borders]

You know, this was never an issue when being queer was considered a profound shame.

[durasell]

The replies are becoming a bit heated. Why don’t we all kiss and make up and press charges against each other. :-)

---

THE ACCUSATION WAS MADE THAT I AM OLD.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

A couple of years ago I had permission to enter a house when the owners were at work to give an estimate on a repair. I opened a bedroom closet looking for the attic access and jumped out of my skin when I saw a little girl, about 7 or 8 hiding in there. She was home alone, school holiday, and hid when she heard me come inside. Once my heart returned to it’s normal position I told the kid to call her mom and I got on the phone and told the mom I was leaving. I left and called the realtor and told her what happened and got her to call the mom and to tell her I had left, then I called a couple of other people to tell them what had happened and that I left immediately.

In retrospect I should have called the cops on the mom for leaving the kid home alone.

[calex59]

I suppose it was a man who put her kids into a car and drove it into a lake a few years back with the kids screaming for mommy to let them out, remember that one? I have a shelf full of books about women who kill off their children. As for the men who abuse their girlfriends children, the women usually condone it and sometimes help abuse the children in such cases.

There are also many women sexual predators who go uncaught do to the fact that women are considered above committing such acts. Look at the number of school teachers(female) who are having sex with underage children. I guess you don't count those either right? The fact that they are given much lower sentences than men committing the same act is just a coinky-dink, right? No prejudice there. A few days ago a list of female teachers abusing children sexually was posted here on FR, I guess you missed that.

While I agree that many men, more so than women, commit child sexual abuse, child abuse per se, is committed on about an equal basis by men and women. Counting abortion, women far outstrip men as killers of children.

[The KG9 Kid]

I can understand where some men worry about this, but I don’t have any such problems with children. I know for sure I’m decent. If anyone were to accuse me of improperly touching a child, they’re getting socked straight in the mouth.

[decimon]

THE ACCUSATION WAS MADE THAT I AM OLD.

Man, they really turn on you in this place. ;-)

[decimon]

You know, this was never an issue when being queer was considered a profound shame.

That it wasn't an issue didn't mean it didn't happen.

[philetus]

Center for Sex Offender Management
A Project of the Office of Justice Programs
U.S. Department of Justice
http://www.csom.org/pubs/mythsfacts.html

Myth:
“All sex offenders are male.”

Fact:
The vast majority of sex offenders are male. However, females also commit sexual crimes.

In 1994, less than 1% of all incarcerated rape and sexual assault offenders were female (fewer than 800 women) (Greenfeld, 1997). By 1997, however, 6,292 females had been arrested for forcible rape or other sex offenses, constituting approximately 8% of all rape and sexual assault arrests for that year (FBI, 1997). Additionally, studies indicate that females commit approximately 20% of sex offenses against children (ATSA, 1996). Males commit the majority of sex offenses but females commit some, particularly against children.

Myth:
“Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers.”

Fact:
Most sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim or the victim’s family, regardless of whether the victim is a child or an adult.

Adult Victims:

Statistics indicate that the majority of women who have been raped know their assailant. A 1998 National Violence Against Women Survey revealed that among those women who reported being raped, 76% were victimized by a current or former husband, live-in partner, or date (Tjaden and Thoennes, 1998). Also, a Bureau of Justice Statistics study found that nearly 9 out of 10 rape or sexual assault victimizations involved a single offender with whom the victim had a prior relationship as a family member, intimate, or acquaintance (Greenfeld, 1997).

Child Victims:

Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child’s family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998). Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.

Myth:
“Sexual offense rates are higher than ever and continue to climb.”

Fact:
Despite the increase in publicity about sexual crimes, the actual rate of reported sexual assault has decreased slightly in recent years.

The rate of reported rape among women decreased by 10% from 1990 to 1995 (80 per 100,000 compared to 72 per 100,000) (Greenfeld, 1997). In 1995, 97,460 forcible rapes were reported to the police nationwide, representing the lowest number of reported rapes since 1989.

More recently, when examining slightly different measures, it appears that rates have continued to drop. The arrest rate for all sexual offenses (including forcible rape and excluding prostitution) dropped 16% between 1993 and 1998. In 1998, 82,653 arrests were logged for all sexual offenses, compared to 97,955 arrests in 1993 (Federal Bureau of Investigations, 1997 and 1998).

[decimon]

If anyone were to accuse me of improperly touching a child, they’re getting socked straight in the mouth.

You sure know how to compound the criminal charges against you.

[Clint Williams]

An expression like that avoids the absurdity of an absolute proclamation.

The second, absolutely. But the issue isn't self proclamation. It's perception of the other.

"decimon is an honest FReeper."

"decimon wants to be an honest FReeper."

Somebody tells me the first, I accept you, decimon, at least provisionally on the basis of my knowledge of the declarant. But if somebody, even somebody 100% implicitly trusted, tells me the second I will ask, "decimon wants to be"?

Now I am perfectly happy to remember "decimon wants to be an honest FReeper" if that's how you want to be remembered. But don't ever try to sell me nuthin' under that regime... ;-)

Maybe if you've never met one of those who "want to be but can't quite make it," you don't understand. I have. I have met one of those once -- personally creeped me out and yet he seemed to be trying. (I really don't think he was bright enough to fake it.) Zero impulse control was his downfall, and if he is never released from prison it could be a very good thing.

[gitmo]

I have worked with children at several churches over the last 20 years. I was recently at a meeting where they were describing the background checks and the standards for working with kids. I raised my hand, and told them that according to these rules, Jesus couldn’t work with children in our church. He has a criminal record, is single, and was once seen encouraging little children to come to him.