Posted on 09/08/2007 2:09:21 PM PDT by rhema
Every year we look forward to Doug volunteering at family retreats that we hold for disabled children and their moms and dads. He is young and athletic, a senior in college, handsome, articulate, and intelligent. The kids love him (and so do a few girl volunteers). When he first began volunteering, we assigned Doug to a little boy with Down syndrome. The two hit it off wonderfully. This energetic young man possessed a knack for relating to the boy; from that year onward, he always asked to be assigned to children with Down syndrome and their parents.
Recently Doug said, "Joni, when I get married, I hope that my wife and I will have a child with Down syndrome." I was startled, but chalked it up to youthful idealism. Since then, I have come to see that Doug meant what he said. He observed a special joy in children and adults with Down syndrome, as well as a godliness that strengthened his faith. He could also tell these children blessed the lives of the moms and dads to whom he administered over the years.
I thought of Doug earlier this year when the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists began recommending broader prenatal testing for Down syndrome among younger pregnant women. Up until this year, they recommended that only older women who were pregnant be tested. But now, all mothers-to-be are routinely tested. The results? Over 90 percent of pregnant women who are given a Down syndrome diagnosis choose to have an abortion.
This breaks my heart. And it translates into a strange future for the kids Doug loves. It's going to be a lonely world for them—they will have far fewer friends with Down syndrome in the future. There are 5,500 children born with Down syndrome each year; they incur from mild to moderate mental retardation. These young people will now have fewer community programs, as well as reduced funds for medical research.
This is why there are growing numbers of parents crisscrossing the continent speaking to the blessings—even advantages—of raising a Down syndrome child. These parents are sharing their stories and explaining how a Down syndrome child can bless his siblings and draw a family closer together. They say that young women who are considering abortion don't understand, nor do they realize the benefits a Down syndrome baby brings to a family. Unfortunately, the only counsel these women are receiving from their obstetrician is often a brochure.
I am deeply concerned about this trend. Abortion is now used as a "disability prevention measure." The effort to eliminate Down syndrome translates into the worst kind of social engineering: the annihilation of an entire group of people who are precious. Our alternative: Accept the love and the God-blessed joys of raising a child—a life—that God has given. Jesus says, "Bless the little children, for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Even children with Down syndrome.
A person with Down syndrome may never understand how to keep up with the Joneses or how to get over his head in debt. He or she may never be clever enough to sneak behind his spouse's back and look for an illicit affair (yes, men and women with Down syndrome do marry, and some of those marriages are honest-to-goodness models to neighbors and friends). They won't be cunning enough to know how to cheat, weave lies, or how to stab a friend in the back. People with Down syndrome may not have driver's licenses, but then again, neither do I—and I get around quite well for a quadriplegic.
That new ruling by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists is a sad reflection of the growing premise in our society that a person is "better off dead than disabled." Human beings are no longer being treated as people, but as things that can be dispensed with, altered, aborted, or euthanized. The medically fragile—whether the elderly, the unborn, or the children Doug serves—are left exposed and vulnerable in a society that has lost its moral bearings, its heart.
—Joni Eareckson Tada is founder and CEO of Joni and Friends International Disability Center
Just a thought.....
Some people are born with their flaws showing, and are sweet and loving.
Most people are born with their flaws hidden, and are mean and bitter.
Another mother who was due at the same time as I was received a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I had just miscarried, and would have gladly traded places with her. I will never forget how I felt when I learned that she had aborted her baby.
Yes, sixty-nine is a long life for someone with Downs, as far as I’ve always been told, too. My aunt who had Downs died a few years ago at age 42, and for years beforehand, she suffered many ailments, could hardly walk, and was in much pain. And 42 was considered an old age for someone with Downs. Judging from the photos, your brother-in-law looked happy and healthy. I’m sorry for your loss. What a wonderful life he must’ve led.
My kids work at a camp that runs a special camp for developmentally disabled adults. They love it. They think the campers are so special, even though they understand the work required to take care of them for the week.
I think this has really enriched their lives.
What a lovely way to put it.
When the daughter of a friend of mine had her first child, she was Down's Syndrome. When someone else told me, my first reaction was that my friend must be so disappointed. It wasn't that I didn't think the child was a gift, and would most certainly be welcomed into the family, but that, as you said, they'd planned their lives differently, and would have to make some big changes, and their lives would go in a different direction.
That little girl is SO loved by her family, and she's growing to be a lovely and smart big sister to her little brother, Jack.
#14—AMEN!
Good thought.
That’s beautiful! Thanks for sharing.
My husband’s grandmother had a Downs’ syndrome child. He was one of nine children, and I know he was a blessing and a burden to her. She wrote many a poem about her life with her son.
My daughter has done a lot of volunteer work with Down Syndrome children. She says they are the most loving people you ever saw.
I was unaware that they could live that long. My understanding was that they usually didn't make it out of 20s due to congenital heart issues.
Funny comment! I am glad Doug can’t read it. You have totally missed the point and would not understand Doug’s heart! Doug has seen the love these children have for EVERYONE in their life. He has seen the joy, laughter and love their parents have for them which reaches beyond their familial borders to touch others. He wants that for himself and his family...that joy, that love, that living with the mentality of “sieze the day”! There isn’t a Down child I know of that feels self-pity, or anything even close for their situation and that they were born that way! They TRULY are God’s angels on earth!! They don’t think the way you are currently thinking about the subject, their life, what you view as lacking in their life. THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT! Sorry, but you are off base trying to tell Doug or anyone else who loves these children so dearly that they need to ‘grow up’. They have grown up and see life through the eyes that we all should be using.
Great post. Thanks.
my daughter refused the tests, but wanted to have the genetic counseling anyway because of the heart issue and blood issue she has. The doctors refused to give her access to the genetic counseling because she refused the test! She told them to their face why she refused it, and that whether the baby was normal or Down she was keeping him. Turns out they tried to talk her into aborting on the basis of her heart, blood and double womb conditions. She held firm! My grandson is now nearly 3 months old, laying here in my lap, cooing and healthy!!
Yeah baby!
I always call “Downs babies” SPECIAL babies.....
One is almost 50 years old, and one is almost 60 years old.
Don’t believe everything that you read in the Papers!
I think it's a shame that you posted that as you obviously DIDN'T think.
A diving accident in 1967 left Mrs. Tada a quadriplegic in a wheelchair, unable to use her hands. After two years of rehabilitation, Joni re-entered the community with new skills and a fresh determination to help others in similar situations. “My church made a huge difference in my family’s life as they demonstrated the love of God in practical ways,” says Joni.
I remember when Joni had her accident. She has done so much with her life, where some people would have wallowed in self-pity and rolled over to die. She is an incredible woman!! What a powerful life testimony!
She is indeed an incredible lady and servant of God.
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