Posted on 08/29/2007 2:18:39 AM PDT by Caipirabob
A few years ago, my husband, Mark, and I were at one of those hip downtown restaurants sipping mojitos and nibbling on lime-spiked seviche when one of my bosses appeared from a cloud of Cuban-cigar smoke and patted my shoulder. When I introduced him to Mark, he naturally asked what he did for a living. We both froze.
"I do some freelancing," Mark said.
"He studied film at NYU," I said at the same time.
Mark looked at me and shrugged. "I stay home with our daughter," he said, as my colleague quietly balked.
"He makes it possible for me to do my job," I said, laughing. But inside, I was mortified. Technically, I had it all back then, including a gorgeous toddler and a cool job.
What I didn't have was a husband I felt proud of.
(Excerpt) Read more at lifestyle.msn.com ...
The million was hyperbole, but she is not harmless. She’s poison.
They teach it in the public screwls and elsewhere.
She is what she is and there are not many like her. She operates within probably 20 square blocks of Manhattan and a similar number in Paris, Milan and Berlin. She’s “contained.”
Another woman who will be old, alone and bitter - guaranteed.
I’ll run the dynamic down for you. She’s a very valuable commodity to the boss: an ambitious young woman who is the sole breadwinner of the family with a presentable hubby who has already had the kid. She’ll work 80 to 100 hours a week, travel widely and run herself ragged. She won’t be pandering to the investment banker or hedge fund husband earning $10 mil a year. She won’t taking time off cause the kid is sick, the nanny didn’t show up or she has a yearning to have a kid. As an employee she’s perfect.
Sounds like the author has a text book case of penis envy to me. She says "like me", then describes a man.
Liberal enlightenment or someone with mental issues that is not smart enough to keep them to herself?
she’s full of crap
It’s sad she was embarrassed because her husband wasn’t working and “only” stayed home and cared for their child. She should have been proud to say he was a Mr. Mom. If there were issues about chores etc then sit down and talk about why. My guess is he was depressed- she admittedly put work before family, was “mortified” that he wasn’t working (you can bet he knew that), so you have a vicious circle. She helped him feel like crap, and then wondered why he acted like someone who felt like crap.
The only reason hubby #2 is different is because it sounds like he’s an intellectual snob who doesn’t want to work, and isn’t shy about it. So she reads that as strength. Go figure.
I think in terms of freedoms and obligations like this: if everyone did it, would the world work?
I've been thinking for awhile that there are more wannabe princesses than princes.
Would you consider such a man harmless and just living his life as he wanted?
Two thoughts. First, for every lonely woman there's a lonely man. It takes two. Second, no man who isn't already emasculated lets himself be emasculated, especially by some so-called social movement. Honestly, the "women have made men wimps" argument holds no water with me.
I guess I'm sick of this issue always being examined from one angle -- that of the evil feminist. It takes two to marry -- or not marry.
I see you're problem Amy. You hang out with liberal girlymen. Instead of "sipping mojitos" and "nibbling lime-spiked seviche" (I haven't the foggiest idea of what those are), you should find the kind of a guy who's idea of a good place to meet after work is the local Pizzeria where you can "eat pizza" and "drink beer".
I will agree that many guys are intimdated by attractive women, why? Dunno.. probably has something to do with being shot down in 9th or 10th grade by some gal we pined for.... hahaha.
I see guys literally unable to function around an attractive woman... and I’ve also see guys literally strain their necks to stare at them for hours but never get the cajones to walk up to them and say hi.
The double standard is at work when it comes to women and men and sex, any woman can find a partner if she wants one.... now they may not ever take them out in public, but if all they are after is sex, any woman can find a partner... because lets face it, we’re men, we’re pigs, and to a certain extent that’s true. Not every guy in the bar will go home with that obese woman, but if she shows up intent on getting some that night, she’ll find someone willing.
Guys on the other hand, doesn’t really work that way. Supply and demand I guess.
I do agree with your observations about many women having completely unrealistic expectations... But given the shallowness of society and the feminist propoganda machine this isn’t really suprising.
I just thank God I’m not single, because I couldn’t deal with the 30something single women I see around me daily, in general. I’m too old for this “put me on a pedastal” princess mentality, and I sure have no desire to be viewed as a “fashion accessory” to be replaced as soon as shes bored.
I know there are some sane ones out there, but my god I can’t imagine filtering through all the ones who aren’t.
Great minds think alike! I read this article and thought about (1) what a shallow, narcissistic, callous person could write and think that way, and (2) how Beta Husband #2 ought to run out the door screaming and get away before his whole life is gone. But since #2 may (according to her) fit with the program much better than #1, maybe he thinks he’s fulfilled in the marriage. Impossible to know from here, but she sounds like a really sad case.
I’m sure it was just supposed to be in fun - but I thought that it was very true. Nobody (man or woman) can fully meet our expectations as a spouse - especially the fantasies that you have as a teenager. So, not that you need to “settle” for second-best, but just to realize that their is NO Prince (or princess) Charming that will make everything magically perfect.
I'd say most men who have a sack is going to probably have issues with a woman being the breadwinner. Sexist perhaps, but true. Biology, Society, etc define man to be the provider and the protector.... and women by those same forces are the nurturers. When those roles get confused or reversed, it rarely bodes well. It doesn't matter what your "intellect" may tell you, its fundamental.
I find the whole "strong woman" argument a bit of a laughable claim by the feminists, that men cannot handle strong women. There have always been strong and strong willed women, even in victorian times. You think those that created and maintained the strict social structures of such societies had anything to do with the men? Hell no, it was the wives, who ran the homes, planned the events, moved in the political circles, etc etc etc.
Strong driven women are nothing new, its just where that drive and will is being focused these days. What is new is the role of provider... this is intrinsicly emasculating.
I have a hard enough time dealing with he fact that my career is not where I know it could be because of decisions I have made to remain in a geographical area that is less economically viable than other places. This is a choice I make for my family, and I do not resent them for it, but that still bothers me personally from time to time. Being in a home full time where the woman is the sole income provider, no way I could do it. Sorry. I would not resent her for making the money, but would resent myself for letting it happen.
In the wealthy suburbs of Massachusetts, we have lots of "spa moms with nannies," which is probably worse.
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