Posted on 06/26/2007 7:57:35 PM PDT by CAWats
HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Condemned prisoner Patrick Knight was executed Tuesday evening for the deaths of an Amarillo-area couple without delivering on a promise to tell a joke in his final statement.
Patrick Knight has been soliciting jokes in the mail and on a Web site, sometimes receiving as many as 20 a day, saying his humor was intended to raise the spirits of other inmates. He said he received as many as 1,300 proposals.
But when the moment came, Knight thanked God for his friends and asked for help for innocent men on death row. He named several he said were innocent. His voice shaking and nearly in tears, he said, "Not all of us are innocent, but those are."
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
Maybe it was more of a performance piece rather than a joke with a punch line.
I fear that on rare occasion it is inevitable that innocent men are executed...it’s very unlikely these days.
We cannot spare 1000s because of that....not to me anyhow...hate to sound harsh
A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair. The chemist was brought forward first.
"Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in. "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened.
Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
Then the biologist was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" "No, just get on with it." The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner. "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."
Guess who just quit smoking?
“Take my life....please.”
In comedy, timing is everything.
I was betting his last words were going to be, “How do you keep a turkey in suspense?”
The jokes on us
If that's your suggestion for the joke he should have told, it would be better stated as "Guess who's about to be smoking for the very last time?"
Ted Bundy.
Obviously this person who wrote this joke is not an electrical engineer. What's a blue wire ?
(first) this = the
It never fails. Even the most hardened-criminal turns into a little beeyotch when they’re facing the needle.
A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away. The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not—you cannot have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
Innocent men should never be executed. The death penalty should require ironclad proof.
LOL!
All that we are
Is all that we need to be
All that we know
Is you and machinery
We’re engineers
—Gary Numan
bada bah bomp!
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