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Global Warming To Blame For Illegals Fleeing America?
thenoseonyourface.com ^ | February 28, 2007 | Buckley F. Williams

Posted on 02/28/2007 6:50:44 PM PST by NYTexan

U.S Border Patrol agents have begun putting the clamps on scores of undocumented aliens who attempt to leave this country illegally. The exodus is a recent phenomenon, and one that is causing a good deal of concern.

“They usually don’t migrate from north to south,” said Border Patrol spokesman Terry Dolance. “It goes against their genetic make-up. Something is spooking them and I’m not exactly sure what it is. It could be the recent spate of immigration raids. But I suspect it has something to do with global warming; just like that angry guy who spits a lot says.”

Global warming proponents agree that severe winter weather across the country could play a role in driving aliens out of America.

“Look, these folks are not prepared for the effects of global warming,” said Berkeley professor of climatology Fig DuBois. “The record snowfalls. The extremely cold temperatures. The sleet and ice storms. They come from countries with warm climates. They are simply not equipped to deal with this.”

Regardless of the reason for the exodus, the work can be risky although at least one man revels in the challenge.

“Is it dangerous?” asked Border Patrol officer Martin Solsberg rhetorically. “It can be. But the simple fact is these little buggers are more scared of you than you are of them. Given the opportunity they’d much rather run away and take a nap in the sun some place. However, when that sunshine is taken away and replaced with blizzards and wintry weather, they can be very unpredictable. ”


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: globalwarming; illegalimmigration; satire
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To: Chena
I'm helping out too. I've removed all the emission control devices from my monster snowblower in hope that it will expedite things.
21 posted on 02/28/2007 7:22:29 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: jazusamo

Life is good up here, jazusamo. We had -63 for a low in the past 7 days. Yep, a bit on the nippy side. LOL Sometimes it's hard to find an outside thermometer that goes below -40. I think our outside one goes to -100. It hit -72 (maybe -75?) years ago when we lived north of the circle.


22 posted on 02/28/2007 7:23:03 PM PST by Chena
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To: dudewheresmytank
"if they are leaving, what's the problem?"

No kidding, pass them on through!

23 posted on 02/28/2007 7:23:17 PM PST by TheLion (How about "Comprehensive Immigration Enforcement," for a change)
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To: NYTexan

LOL! I'll go stoke the two fires I've got going and try to smoke our temperatures up to -10.


24 posted on 02/28/2007 7:24:39 PM PST by Chena
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To: Chena

Be sure ta throw some coal on those fires for added effect!


25 posted on 02/28/2007 7:30:58 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: A message
The illegal aliens , they know what's up, no wonder they flee the climate change caused by the fast food industrial complex.

Yes, master, and now if we can only convince all eleven+million of them, maybe they will depart.

Of course, that will take a cold day in hell, which would be unaffected by our global warming.:)

26 posted on 02/28/2007 7:35:18 PM PST by xJones
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To: NYTexan; Chena
It's dropping, but nowhere's near as cold as Fairbanks and environs.



27 posted on 02/28/2007 7:38:37 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska (~ God Bless and Protect Our Brave Protectors of Freedom~)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

I don't know how you posted that graphic, but it sure is neat. Our son lives in Anchorage and he's been telling us it's been colder than normal down there. It's been good for the ice carvings though. We're at -18 right now and will probably hit -50 again tonight. If the forecasters are right, we should warm up a bit during the weekend. We're in the eastern Interior.


28 posted on 02/28/2007 7:45:24 PM PST by Chena
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To: NYTexan

I think the last bag of charcoal is buried in the snow. LOL


29 posted on 02/28/2007 7:46:14 PM PST by Chena
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To: NYTexan

Oh, if only! LOL!

Thanks for the ping.

Check this out. One of my coworkers has Mexican illegals for neighbors. That couple has minor children. One set of their grandparents is also illegally here, maintaining a separate household. At least, they *were*.

Recently, the grandparents paid a visit back to Old Mexico, planning to return here in a couple of weeks. In case ICE questioned them, the scam for their flight back to the U.S. had been to order roundtrip tickets originating from *Mexico* and simply "miss" the return leg to Mexico. Unluckily for them, ICE agents get to search everything in their possession, and did. In the grandfather's wallet, ICE found this state's issued drivers license in his name with valid local address, as well as one of his business cards for his house-painting business here. Gosh, doesn't look like they're mere tourists to the U.S., huh?

Right there and then, Chicago ICE shipped 'em back to Mexico, bye bye.

Oh snap, that darned global warming strikes again!


30 posted on 02/28/2007 7:46:22 PM PST by Titan Magroyne ("Y'know, I've always thought of politics as show business for ugly people." Jay Leno:Al Gore 11/29)
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To: Titan Magroyne

LOL, good story!


31 posted on 02/28/2007 8:00:24 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: NYTexan
"Hey AlGore, where's MY global warming?

Exactly. Take a look at this. I know...this is Alaska, and we should expect this kind of stuff... But I want MY global warming, too!

32 posted on 02/28/2007 8:04:58 PM PST by redhead (Victory first, then peace.)
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To: redhead

Brrrr! Burn everthing in sight! Stay warm up there!!!


33 posted on 02/28/2007 8:12:59 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: Chena

It has definitely been colder....windy too. No flocking at all on trees that I see every day....parking lots scoured down to ice. Lots of days below zero...not used to having to start my car during the working day.


34 posted on 02/28/2007 8:25:43 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska (~ God Bless and Protect Our Brave Protectors of Freedom~)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

My husband and I keep talking about buying more property down near the Talkeetna/Trapper Creek area. Close enough to Anchorage to have warmer winters but yet out far enough to not feel like we're close to Anchorage. LOL Hopefully this latest system will move on out and bring warmer temps to your area. We're supposed to be leaving for Anchorage on Friday morning but if it's still -50 I'm pretty sure we won't want to travel nor leave the house to fend for itself. Our son has tickets to the Ace's hockey game and I really would like to finally make the time to see the start of the Iditarod.


35 posted on 02/28/2007 8:57:46 PM PST by Chena
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To: Chena

Leaving the house at -50 could be a problem. d:o)

High Friday 11...High Saturday 16

36 posted on 02/28/2007 9:59:51 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska (~ God Bless and Protect Our Brave Protectors of Freedom~)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

We've actually warmed up since my last post to you. It's only -12 right now. I went outside with my dogs and we've had clouds move in, and we're getting some light flurries. The wind has picked up too. As my husband says, "those darn weathermen". LOL

Maybe the weathermen will be wrong again and finally we'll make it to Anchorage! We had to cancel our Thanksgiving plans with the kids when we hit the -60's for Thanksgiving. My tears froze on my face. wwahhhhh


37 posted on 02/28/2007 10:14:31 PM PST by Chena
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To: Chena

Official right now is 5+.....it's -10 on the front porch.

Hopefully the weatherman WILL be wrong and you'll get to visit. Last I heard, Iditarod is going to restart in Willow.


38 posted on 02/28/2007 10:52:17 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska (~ God Bless and Protect Our Brave Protectors of Freedom~)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

I went out to our workshop to stoke the fire and checked the temp on my way in; it's -16 here. It would sound crazy to some people, but I know you'll understand, when I say I stood outside for awhile in my jammies, polar fleece, and my Igloo Sneakers just enjoying the "warm" temperature.

I've been checking the online edition of ADN every day and the last I read was that the restart will be in Willow. I haven't been down to Anchorage since July. Doesn't Wasilla have enough snow for the restart? Anchorage sure got dumped on. If I remember right, they were up to 70+ inches just a month ago.


39 posted on 03/01/2007 12:02:48 AM PST by Chena
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To: Chena

I heard on the radio today that the trail between here and there is just not doable. The Anchorage start is not even going as far as Eagle River.....they are stopping at Campbell Airstrip and will truck to Willow.


40 posted on 03/01/2007 12:42:36 AM PST by Kathy in Alaska (~ God Bless and Protect Our Brave Protectors of Freedom~)
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