Christ 'Coffin' Empty (Review of “Lost Tomb of Jesus”: Al Capone’s vault has met it’s match)

NY Post ^ | February 28, 2007 | Adam Buckman

[dead]

AL Capone's vault has met its match.

I'm no scientist, but after watching a bunch of people who are scientists sift through the dust and bones of a 2000-year-old family burial chamber in Jerusalem, I have to offer this unscientific conclusion: There ain't no way them bones belong to Jesus.

Or, if they are his bones, they don't come anywhere near proving it in "The Lost Tomb of Jesus," the Discovery Channel documentary that is supposed to rock Christianity to its very foundations.

Well, I have some good news for Christianity: Your foundations are safe.

Why were they going to be rocked in the first place? Because if the bones turned out to be Jesus', then the long-held Christian belief that he was resurrected bodily from his grave would have to be reconsidered - perhaps limited to a resurrection that was "merely" spiritual in nature.

< snip >

Laboratories from Israel to Ontario were enlisted to analyze genetic material from old bones and train "electron microprobes" on tiny mounds of patina scraped from the sides of the limestone bone boxes (called "ossuaries").

The tests were aimed at determining if the bones belonged to people who were related to each other and whether the ossuaries came out of the same cave. FYI: The results varied.

The whole process began when scholars realized that the names inscribed on these particular ossuaries mirrored those of the known (or suspected) members of Jesus' family.

What are the odds that this group of people with names common to their place and time were the family of Jesus Christ?

Despite the best efforts of a statistician recruited to stand up the show's hypothesis, the odds remain long indeed.

[Reaganesque]

This whole thing reminds me of a story Steven Wright told about a friend of his that spent an enormous amount of government funding to find out who built the pyramids. After several years of research, his friend's conclusion was that "he was pretty sure it was some guy named Eddie."

[Nathan Zachary]

Six. Aisha was 6 years old when He married her and 'consummated' his marriage to her. In fact, she may have been even younger than that considering she was still being breast fed.

The hadith says her "nurse" (the didn't have doctors and nurses in nomadic Bedouin tribes in those days, she was a wet nurse) came and got her from a swing, and after being led by the hand to her house (tent) she was out of breath. A nine year old wouldn't be nursing, and certainly wouldn't be out of breath being led by an older women with lactating breasts. She was placed in Mohammad's lap which indicates her small size, under 6 years old.

later scribes have changed her age to 9 so as to cover the embarrassing fact about Mohammad raping a baby. But they couldn't abrogate it well enough to cover those other detils which give her true age away. She was but a nursing baby child, rapd by a 54 year old murdering pedophile.

[bobjam]

Hollywood got the part of the message "Americans enjoy Christian themed movies". Obviously they didn't get the part "so long as those movies aren't about how Christianity is a bunch of hooey".

[camle]

funny thing about rocks: you can't determine when anything was carved on them. Those names could have been carved yesterday adn there wouldn't be any reliable method of proving it.

This 'discovery' is 25 years old. how come it took so long for such a blockbueter to get out???

I smell the "Cardiff Giant"

[The Great RJ]

Based on this type of scholarship both the Hitler and Howard Hughes diaries not to mention the Piltdown Man are all authentic. I'm waiting for the Discovery Channel to show Jesus' high school graduation photo and the bill for the last supper.

[Duffboy]

I don't believe a word of it. The ossuary is an obvious ploy to get christians to throw away their "relics'. I am proud of my piece of " John the Baptists skull', a vial of 'Mother Mary's milk' and a wisp of 'hair from Peter'....

[RightWhale]

Sure are a lot of threads for a decades old non-story. Coast covered this well last night.

[COBOL2Java]

Scientists have completed analysis of the bones in the coffin and have determined that they are the bones of...

[drumroll]

Jimmy Hoffa!

[rimshot]

Thank you! Thank you! I'm here all week - try the veal!

[GreenLanternCorps]

"...the bill for the last supper."

I always assumed they paid cash. I wonder, was it separate checks, and since there were over 8 in the party, was an 18% tip added on?

[Publius6961]

All they have to do to establish paternity is to get some DNA from his Father. I'd love to see that process.

I had the same thought when this event first came up, but I bit my tongue because I despise three pages of scripture quotations as "argument".

I can separate my faith (still healthy and strong) from scientific discussions.

[Publius6961]

"Hey, does this mean the Koran is wrong about prophet Jesus/Isa being taken up to Allah?"

Well...
There's a complication here.
The story of Jesus is that he actually and physically ascended; no written contradiction among the Gospels.

Mohamed did his "ascention" in a dream.

If I have a dream that I ascended, does that make it "real"?
If not, why not?

[Publius6961]

One additional historical fact, Encyclopedia Britannica, Vol III, Edinburgh, 1771, pg 9:

Thus was mohamedanism established, and idolatry rooted out, even in mohamed's lifetime (for he died the next year [633]) throughout all Arabia, except only Yamama, where Moiselama, who set up also as a prophet as mohamed's competitor, had a great party, and was not reduced till the Khalifat of Abu Becr: and the Arabs, being then united in one faith and under one prince, found themselves in a condition of making those conquests, which extended the mohammedan faith over so great a part of the world"

[perfect stranger]

I remember him using that quite a few years ago- more than 10 IIRC. Does he still do stand up comedy? Nevermind, I'll go and answer my own question. :-)

[perfect stranger]

On The Last Supper: It was actually a brunch. The check (discovered by Sarducci himself!) reveals that one guy only had a soft-boiled egg and tea, while everyone else stuffed themselves. But when the bill was paid, it was divided equally. The moral: "In groups, always order the most expensive thing."

link

[TX Bluebonnet]

LOL. You are a genius!

[Mr. Lucky]

Take a deep breath.

There is no scientific support for this sort of tabloid documentary. all archeologists I've seen interviewed call this movie maker's thesis: nonsense.

[maryz]

Love the picture! LOL!

I never watch it myself, but I always thought the Discovery Channel was at least moderately serious. Is their other stuff of this -- I hestitate to use the word -- calibre?

[SunkenCiv]

Just adding this to the GGG catalog, not sending a general distribution.

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[grey_whiskers]

"But the Da Vinci Code said that Jesus had a daughter!"

"Well, the name on that coffin must be 'Judy' instead of Judas"

No sweat:

Cheers!

[spotbust1]

Ain't going to happen. These people don't have a snowballs chance in hell of making it to Heaven. (Wait, was that confusing?)