Hooking up is the rage, but is it healthy? (Relationships? What are those?)

Boston Globe ^ | 2/13/2007 | Barbara F. Meltz

[Rutles4Ever]

In a culture where young women take pride in having guilt-free sex with partners they barely know, Nolan and Aparicio are rarities. They have genuine boyfriends, not hook ups.

"I don't know anyone else who's in a relationship, do you?" Nolan asks Aparicio. Nope, no one else.

Hooking up has come to define sexual relationships for most of today's teens and young women. It can mean anything from kissing and touching to oral sex or intercourse. Vagueness is its hallmark. "A girl can say, 'I hooked up with so-and-so,' and no one knows what she did. It protects you and makes you a player at the same time," says Aparicio, who admits to her share of high school hook ups.

---SNIP---

"The C-word, commitment, is the dirty word," Stepp says. "They see relationship as draining you of everything, most of all of your time: You'll have no time for yourself, your girlfriends, your studies, your sports..."

Aparicio says friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship. Nolan's relationship is enough of an anomaly among her friends that she says, "Some of them are curious about it -- like it's something foreign."

Stepp is not prudish or unrealistic enough to call for an end to hook ups. "I want girls to stop and think about what they are doing, and where it's going to lead them," she says.

Neither Nolan nor Aparacio knows what the future holds for their relationships. Marriage? Probably not. Aparicio even admits that hook ups with no strings have some appeal. Not that she's looking to break up.

[Rutles4Ever]

Not a very good prognostication for the future of the marriage institution. Even if these girls get married, what are the chances they'll view it as a lifelong commitment?

[Yo-Yo]

The more things change...

[Squawk 8888]

I'm reminded of a line from a long-forgotten but not too bad early 90s sitcom:

"Bad credit is forever. Marriage is until you get tired of it."

[L98Fiero]

"Hooking up"?

What ever happened to "whoring around"?

[Jeff Chandler]

...a culture where young women take pride in having guilt-free sex with partners they barely know...

"I don't know anyone else who's in a relationship, do you?"

"They see relationship as draining you of everything,

friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship.

Marriage? Probably not.

Democrats.

[Mr. Mojo]

In a culture where young women take pride in having guilt-free sex with partners they barely know.....

Despite what these girls desperately want to believe "hooking up" with partners they barely know is neither guilt-free, emotion-free, or consequence-free. .....and they all discover this, eventually.

[nmh]

Or screwing around?

Guess they like to REDEFINE the SOS to keep others guessing since it's so "vague".

[frogjerk]

"Sex in the City" is was a harmless sitcom. /lib

[HamiltonJay]

Personally I have no problem if high schoolers want to date around (not condoing wanton promiscuous sex) but frankly dating a bunch of different people certainly isn't a bad thing when young.

[Snardius]

Hooking up = Sport F**king

[Hemingway's Ghost]

I had to read this twice: who knew that Nolan and Aparicio are girl's names? Then again, this is Massachusetts, so it's perfectly natural that a male Nolan or Aparicio would be talking about his boyfriend.

[dan1123]

IS it healthy?!?

Sure, serially monogamous sexual relationships weren't the greatest relationship fad, and caused emotional pain because of the intimacy-break-up cycle. So to avoid pain, there was a choice: remove the sex or remove the relationship. Looks like the latter won out.

I don't like Joshua Harris's kissing dating goodbye, but avoiding sexual intimacy in a dating relationship is a good way to do away with a lot of problems that plague the path to marriage.

[Hemingway's Ghost]

Personally I have no problem if high schoolers want to date around (not condoing wanton promiscuous sex) but frankly dating a bunch of different people certainly isn't a bad thing when young.

I agree completely. "Commitment" should not be a hallmark of high school relationships; when young, one should play the field.

[frogjerk]

when young, one should play the field.

Why?

[colorado tanker]

Well, when the graduate these girls will always have a profession they can lay, er, fall back on.

[Madeleine Ward]

Hook-up?

What about 'relationship?' Just what is that, even?

[RinaseaofDs]

"...a culture where young women take pride in having guilt-free sex with partners they barely know...

"I don't know anyone else who's in a relationship, do you?"

"They see relationship as draining you of everything,

friends at home think she's weird to be in a monogamous relationship.

Marriage? Probably not.
Democrats."

Absolutely, and just wait until she let's the puck slip by the goalie. Next comes the disposal of the 'non-viable cell mass'.

[Finalapproach29er]

These days, any women whose been "had" by less than ten guys is a gem.

Nothing special left in their souls by the time they reach 30.

[RockinRight]

*snort*

[GSWarrior]

Whatever happened to normal names?