Posted on 12/23/2006 5:15:33 PM PST by Dallas59
BANGKOK (AFP) - "I could not find anybody in the States. There was nothing in America for me. That's why I'm here," says the clean-cut 52-year-old bachelor, who bears a passing resemblance to Hollywood actor Michael Douglas.
Sullivan, an emergency nurse from Florida, is one of a growing number of foreign men seeking young and beautiful Thai brides via the Internet.
Speaking at the Bangkok office of Sweet Singles, a Thai bride-by-Internet company, Sullivan says he has decided to "go beyond boundaries" in his search for a wife after a futile quest in the United States.
"American women in my age are, basically, a wreck. They are physically and emotionally beaten up from relationships and life. They are untrusting," says the well-built Sullivan, sporting a pink shirt and white pants.
"I think the feminist movement in America in the 60s really trashed American feminism. American women lack a certain femininity about them that women of other countries have," he laughs.
Sullivan contacted Sweet Singles six months ago and was introduced to Yoshita Tongsalee, an attractive 27-year-old teacher of traditional Thai dancing.
After corresponding with her via e-mails for three weeks, Sullivan decided to meet her and flew to Bangkok in early December.
"Just from e-mails, I knew she was the one. I just knew," says the American, his emerald earring dazzling.
"I find Thai women in general to be less self-centered and more family-centered than I find in western women," he says. The couple plans to marry next year.
John, a 43-year-old Briton who got married to a Thai woman four years ago via an Internet bride agency, also has grievances about western women.
"English women are very demanding and they expect you to be good-looking and have plenty of money and give them lots of attention. They drink a lot and they smoke a lot and they eat a lot," says John, who declined to give his last name.
"I am not very good at getting women anyway. I'm not the best-looking guy in the world. I'm quite short and it's very hard for me to find an English woman who is shorter than me," he says on the telephone from London.
Before marrying his Thai bride, John dated six British women, but his relationships with them were anything but happy.
"I'm just fed up with British women. They are not so loyal," he says.
When he met six Thai ladies in Bangkok via the Internet, including a 32-year-old business woman who later became his wife, John says he was struck by their kindness and family-centered values.
"I think Thai women are more loyal to their husbands. They are not just 'take, take take.' Also they have old-fashioned family values, which we used to have in this country," he says. John and his wife now have two young boys.
John and Marc declined to say how much they paid to get their Thai wives. Sweet Singles says it can charge a foreign man up to 1,700 dollars for a three-year membership to meet Thai ladies.
Some 10,000 foreign men have signed up with Sweet Singles over the last decade, and nearly half of them were previously divorced, says Bee, the company's customer service manager.
Some 80 percent of them get married to Thai women through the agency.
Americans account for 60 percent of the company's male clients, with the rest mostly from Australia, Britain, Germany and Scandinavian countries. Their average age ranges from 55 to 60.
Some 20,000 Thai women have also joined Sweet Singles, with their ages ranging from 20 to 40. The company charges a Thai woman 700 baht (20 dollars) for membership.
Bee, a petite 40-something, says Thai woman often have a favorable impression of foreigners.
"Many Thai girls were disappointed by Thai men who are famous for womanizing, drinking and gambling. Thai woman believe Caucasian men are more responsible and sincere and not playing around with other women," she says.
Thanitchaya Buaban, a striking 26-year-old beauty from Thailand's northern tourist spot of Chiang Mai, says she used to have a Thai boyfriend but he cheated on her many times.
"I was heart-broken. After I joined Sweet Singles, I started meeting foreigners and they were very kind and polite," she says at the firm's office.
Thanitchaya says she now has many American suitors who are trying to win her love with diamond rings and necklaces.
"I'm going to choose the best one," she says with a big smile.
For Sullivan's fiancee Yoshita, her experiences with Thai men were more traumatic.
"I was planning to marry my first Thai boyfriend, but he did not show up on our wedding day. He embarrassed me and my family," Yoshita says. "My second boyfriend cheated on me and impregnated another woman."
But Yoshita, who wears a golden heart necklace, says she is looking forward to living in Florida with the man of her dreams -- even if she still refers to him by his last name.
"I believe Mr Sullivan is a gift from God. He is really a good man and respects me. Every day I pray and thank Buddha for giving me Mr Sullivan," she says.
Sullivan nodded and held her hand.
"I have to step outside my own culture to find someone with whom I am compatible. I am not narrow-minded in that regard," he smiles.
I think 40something single men hoping for that last shot of youth have a dilemma. Women under 30 sound like chatter boxes and women over 30 are emotional train wrecks.
Well, we disagree on that, since protection these days is not generally hand-to-hand combat, and I know many women who could take their husbands even at that.
BUT, putting that aside, even if I agreed with that, I would have to say, then, that if protection is a one-way street for the woman to the man, if we are being that black and white -- that the male of the species is generally stronger and more agressive, then childrearing is a one way street as well, in which the male should place his trust in the generally more nurturing and passive female.
So we're back to trust operating both ways.
If they're looking for their last shot at youth, couldn't they just get the requisite red convertible? I mean, best to give everyone an obvious, visible sign that you're desperately trying to retain a youth that is already lost.
Well we drove cars, used electricity, didnt use tv's or stereos. Met 3 times a week, saturdays were the days we gathered for charity work. Women covered there heads and men grew beards, even over the lips. We did service in english because that way we could outreach to others. We didnt stay in school after the 8th grade, well most of us anyways. Made our own clothes. I am sure most of the lifestyle was similar to what you know. Like I said, or meant to say, it wasnt common. Most people married around the age of twenty. I know Craig was the exception and I believe actually requested it, he was always shy anyways.
I myself left the church because I didnt think it matched what I needed, or felt I needed. Especially since I joined the Army, even my parents converted to Catholicism, even though technically I can still say I am mennonite, I still left.
And how is this different from american women that marry for security ?
Feminine wiles or whatever one wishes to term it. A smart women can get her man to do her bidding without resorting to red faced screeching. You've got to admire the sweet thing who can make you think it was your idea all along.
Do they still retain the belief that the King is divine? Or is it not literally that, but a vestige of it?
Not literally, but he is very highly respected.
We are no longer cavemen we use guns but the concept of protection still stands and it goes beyond just the physical protections. Just as a women with her Nurturing skills.
Amazing the vast difference in cultures, despite info age, technology, "Americanization" at all that stuff.
Darn, I can't help it, all this talk of Siam and the King, do you hear it? Faintly in the back of your mind..."Shaaal weeeee DANCE? Bom Bom Bom. On a bright cloud of music shall we fly? Bom Bom Bom..."
Not any more, thank God.
I've been married to the same lady so long now that if anything happened to end our marriage, I doubt I'd be in the market for another marriage.
I can relate. I've dated exactly two women (Both FReepers) since the divorce six years ago. OTOH, I do have a friend I see frequently, but since she's woman's woman, it isn't by any stretch dating.
I'm still a bit too much damaged goods to do much hardcore dating. Though having a female friend to talk to where there is no possibility of sex is helping. At this point I'm definitely not marriage material.
Can you get mail order mistresses?
I suppose. No point, though.
Exactly, and to be fair, he is a good guy. Much like the last king in Tonga, since he died there have been all kinds of unrest and a few deaths.
I don't want to be in Bangkok when Bhumipol dies.
This past very busy summer many folks I know hustled down to LA for Katrina relief. Mostly Amish, but the MCC and others went, as well. There is no shortage of volunteer and missionary work for the local churches to attend to.
Many local Amish youth have their "cars" and during Rumspringa, sow their wild oats. All that (fun) ends when they join the church. Then, of course, it's time for marrying. LOL
Whoa, whoa. You're using the word "equal" in the sense of some hard left feminists. No one here -- at least I don't think anyone here -- is alleging that men and women are "the same" which seems to be the way you think I define "equal." Equal to me means there is not a master/servant relationship between them. Of course one takes the lead in those areas in which they are more competent than the other -- but that doesn't make them unequal.
My wife does it all the time. She is so good at it.
You're right, there it is, right there…right after you referred to him as a loser, a whiner, unsuccessful, less than a man, not rich, and pathetic. After reading that, I sure can't understand why he felt the need to disprove that or why you were picked on tonight.
Look, cammie, I'm sure you are a good and decent person at heart; but can you not recognize that you took some wild leaps to condemn this man. He may be the sleazy lounge lizard that you think he is, but he may not be. You don't know. You seem to put forth a lot of piss and vinegar regarding men.
Some of us men, who are also good and decent people, are just tired of hearing about manhood being something that needs to be overcome; that men are inferior to women (and I am not implying the converse). We don't all sleep around, think with our dicks (if only I had one), view women as subservient. Some of us love our wives for the marvelous and equal women they are, not just for the physical; in fact many of us understand that sex really is about love between two people, the giving of pleasure, and much less about physical appearance.
I've actually enjoyed the exchange tonight. I sincerely wish you a merry Christmas. Good night.
Dear Cammie,
You might want to reconsider that "Thanks". Perhaps, just perhaps, he might have been saying (implying) that you didn't have the looks. But, then again, he might have been slighting your dance skills.
In any case, some of you should consider doing this thread as a skit and selling the CD.
Good. You are not as much of a feminist as I thought. That is a huge start; you will get it sooner or later.
If you forced a rational consideration of the question, then of course not. The answer would be no, he is not divine. Rationally, if he was divine his children would be too, wouldn't they? and one of those in particular is not respected anywhere as near as much as the King is. But emotionally it's a different matter. Emotionally Thais put the King in a different category than they would other people.
The weaker sex, my arse.
LOL
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