Group seen cutting trees
to make excellent bird cage lining
by JohnHuang2
 Vernon Jordan got caught trying to land Monica Lewinsky a plum gig at Revlon to keep her mouth shut; Chuck Robb had a sex scandal with former Miss Virginia Tai Collins and hung out at cocaine parties and listened in on illegally-recorded cell phone chats of a political rival. Neither Jordan nor Robb got indicted. As a result, both were put on the Iraq Study Group. Which probably makes this august body the most ethical and moral study group in history.
The Iraq Study Group on Wednesday "releases" its entire 'report' which it has already leaked. The group also leaked news that Britney Spears was filing for divorce. About the only thing that hadn't leaked is info on the panel's profound military qualifications. I wonder if the reason is because they don't have any.
The purpose of the Iraq Study Group is to figure out how to win the war in Iraq (although, according to published reports, Iraq's dictator was toppled and captured, his military crushed, and Iraq has had several national elections since. I'll have to look into this.) The Maliki government is a few months old and the fanatical Muslim terrorists haven't abandoned terrorism and gone back to working as bank executives and Clarinette players, so liberals judge Iraq a failure. In fact, the Iraq Study Group started 'studying' before the Maliki government took office. It took eight months and $1.3 million for this panel of dazzling military planners to come up with a plan for surrender, when all they had to do is ask the French.
While we're on the subject of waste, also on the list of Iraq Study groupies is Leon Panetta, Clinton's former Chief of Staff, a position which, in Panetta's defense, demanded great managerial skill as his boss juggled several projects at once -- from dodging testimony in the Paula Jones case and gathering dirt on women from his other sex scandals, to having the most 'ethical administration in history.' Panetta's supporters say he even has national security credentials, and point to the White House team he put together, which was ready for any national emergency, such as Clinton getting indicted.
But the semen-stained Iraq Study panel wasn't going to let itself be discredited by past scandals. Like Bill Clinton, it's compartmentalized. In the Compartment of Defense, you have William Perry. His qualification to be on the panel consists of the way he brilliantly executed the botched invasion of Haiti. That was during his stint as Clinton's Defense chief, before he decided to spend more time with his family at the board of Hambrecht and Quist. Perry's guiding defense philosophy revolved around the idea of building a quick-responding, ready military force, able to fight off two major Clinton bimbo eruptions at once.
Through sheer incompetence, Perry, as deputy secretary of Defense (the job he held before he got promoted), helped get 19 U.S. soldiers killed in Somalia, another shining Clinton success. Clinton retaliated by ordering troops to bug out, even before formation of a Somali Study Group. In that same gig as undersecretary, Perry helped his boss Les Aspin devise ways to implement Clinton's gays in the military policy (otherwise known as the "Bottoms-up Review.") Add to this, Perry's service in the Carter administration as undersecretary of defense, responsible for the procurement of weapon systems that didn't work, to make it fair. Perry was undersecretary during Operation Desert One, a failed military attempt to rescue 53 Americans held hostage in the U.S. embassy in Tehran. (Liberals later judged the operation a success because everybody wasn't killed.) Yeah, Bush needs war advice from this guy.
And then you have Lee Hamilton, co-chair of the Iraq Study Group. His stint on the Iraq Study panel was preceded by his stint as co-chair of the 9/11 panel, preceded by his stint as co-chair of the panel on Los Alamos, preceded by his stint as chair of the Iran-Contra panel, preceded by his stint as chair of the panel responsible for drawing up the Articles of Confederation in 1777.
As for the other Iraq Study groupies, their credentials on national security are equally stunning (although people were still eager to hear from supreme military leader, Sandra Day O'Connor.)
Apart from the lack of military cred on the part of individual members, why would you rely on a panel comprised of diplomats, lawyers, political has-beens and former Revlon honchos to devise military strategy? How about military strategists and generals to devise Revlon's marketing strategy? Imagine a group of idiot TV executives trying to win the ratings war by hiring Katie Couric. Oh, wait . . .
And why would you need a panel of crooked politicians and lawyers when you already have Congress? That's your problem with the James Baker group right there. Among the group's recommendations is the half-Bakered idea that you need to talk to Iran and Syria. After all, we talked to the Soviet Union during the Cold War. No doubt such talks played a very peaceful role in helping the Soviets "peacefully" invade Afghanistan. While we talked to the peace-loving Ghandis running the Soviet Union, they armed our enemy in the Viet Nam war, backed our enemy in the Korean war, tightened their grip over the Eastern Bloc, fomented revolutions in Latin America and armed to the teeth. Yes, soothing talk with Syria and Iran is the answer.
Carter tried talking to Iran and ended up with the hostage crisis. Reagan tried talking to Iran and ended up with Iran-Contra. Clinton tried talking to Iran and, after failing to get a date with Julia Roberts, tried 'dating' former "moderate" leader Mohammed Khatami by arranging to 'accidentally' run into him during the U.N.'s millennium summit, but got stood up when "Supreme Leader" Ali Khamenei called it off. Clinton "was left pacing the corridors of the U.N.," writes Iranian journalist Amir Taheri in the latest issue of Commentary magazine, as quoted in Tuesday's Wall Street Journal. The Europeans for years have tried talking to Iran, offering incentives in exchange for not having a nuclear holocaust and not wiping all Jews off the map. Germany took the lead in those negotiations. Germany! Now that's progress. So, how are those talks going?
Stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, the violence "across" Iraq is mostly contained in Baghdad (although an American female is probably still safer there than in Alec Baldwin's place.) The Shiite south and Kurdish north make L.A. and Washington D.C. look like war zones -- oops, they are. Liberal welfare policy and cops cutting-and-running are what made many American cities crime-ridden, gang-infested hellholes, so liberals want to export their ideas to Baghdad. Yeah, that'll restore order there.
While Baker-Hamilton were busy ordering pizza and 'studying' Iraq inside their dorms, even a liberal moron like Michael Hirsh of Newsweek noticed that the "fast-moving events in Iraq" were making the panel look like it's "standing still." He noticed all the action at Ft. Riley in Kansas, where the military is massively engaged in setting up "11-man transition teams" comprised of "advisers to be embedded in the Iraqi military" in a push to professionalize the Iraqi Army. Put enough teams of "U.S. officers and noncoms" on the ground and you let the regular U.S. Army battalion guys relax, kick up their feet and start studying the Iraq Study Group for laughs.
Anyway, that's...
My Two Cents...
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