Posted on 12/04/2006 7:24:54 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy
Why Jimmy Carter would want to be buried in foreign soil is anybody’s guess, but the former president, whose administration was the economic equivalent of root canal while in the throes of amoebic dysentery, has announced his funeral plans.
Carter wants to be buried in front of his home in Plains, Georgia. At this point, we can only speculate how many of brother Billy’s empty beer cans will be dug up by the backhoe. Any bets?
Jimmy also wants a funeral in Washington, which promises to be quite the somber experience. It’ll be like Ronald Reagan’s funeral without all the pesky people getting in your line of sight.
It’s often said that Carter “was a better ex-president than president,” but trying to decide if Jimmy was a better president or ex-president is like figuring out if you prefer the hemorrhoid on the left butt cheek, or the right one.
Carter is probably still in full-blown “Enzyte Bob” mode, as his pal and anti-American goon Hugo Chavez just won re-election as president of Venezuela.
The legacy that Jimmy Carter will leave behind once his funeral plans are fulfilled would be comical if it weren’t dangerous. The self-appointed Special Ambassador to Everywhere has spent the better part of a few decades using his platform as a former president of the U.S. to practice conflict resolution overseas, bash America, and encourage murderers and their victims to find common ground.
Not long ago, Carter monitored the Palestinian elections, where the Islamic militant group Hamas won an overwhelming majority in the legislature.
Here’s what Jimmy Carter had to say about the Palestinian election mere hours after the voting: “The elections were completely honest, completely fair, completely safe and without violence.” We can only wish Carter could offer that same type of knee-jerk deference to an American election.
Remember the days when Billy was the embarrassing Carter?
What Jimmy Carter, knowingly or unknowingly, said to the world that day was that suicide bombings and other violence at polling places won’t occur as long as terrorists are allowed a spot on the ballot.
There are two options with Jimmy Carter: He’s either a gullible fool in search of a legacy or a closet despot lover in search of a closet.
Back in 2002, Carter visited Cuba and hooked up with Fidel Castro for what almost resembled a creepy eHarmony.com ad. At the time, Carter’s visit rankled nerves in the Bush administration because it was thought that Castro had, at the very least, a limited biological-weapons program.
Carter came out of his trip doubting that Cuba had any such programs. Why? You guessed it: Because Castro told him he didn’t. Well, that and because Castro granted Carter “free access to any place that you may wish to see” (with 24-hour notice for “tidying up”). The Cuban government also told its people that they were free to speak openly with Carter, provided they were polite, courteous and willing to spend the next 20 years in a labor camp.
Why does Jimmy Carter seem to have a soft spot for less than desirable dictators and varied despots around the globe? Simply psychology. The malaise, stagflation, low morale, high misery index, bad leisure suit and disco years that were his presidency look great next to the human rights violations, oppression and violent iron fisted rule of the likes of Castro, Hamas, Chavez, Ahmadinejad, et al.
Carter has figured out what’s helped many an ex-president out of a bad legacy jam. You can’t change history, but you can alter your present company. As Rodney Dangerfield’s character eloquently put it in his movie Back to School, “If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Jimmy Carter has announced his burial plans, and word has it that he’s already down in Plains trying to mediate the dirt out of the hole. I’m a little surprised that Carter didn’t want to be buried in Venezuela, Cuba, or the Middle East — a little closer to home.
When Carter dies, we will see the FuneRally to end all FuneRallies. It will dwarf the Wellstone Memorial.
Nah, to him, Plains, GA or anywhere in the U.S.A is foreign soil.
We'll be having popcorn and celebrating at our house.
Moral
Equivalent
OF
War
What do the "..." mean? Is that a ditto mark?
If Jimmy Carter is buried ANYWHERE in the US, for him, it will be foreign soil.
For he is a citizen of the WORLD, doncha know. That backward and parochial notion of giving allegiance to just one country is, um, kinda like being PATRIOTIC, and that leads to all kinds of mischief.
Scrappleface really does this sort of thing better.
LOL!
The best thing about the Carter presidency was the President that followed!
Since when is Plains GA, "foreign soil"? The headline doesn't seem to match the body of the story.
Not me, but you introduced it to me on a Carter thread a year or two ago. I thought I was being attacked by the Viking Kitties, LOL.
I'm confused. Plains Georgia is not in a foreign country.
I always send back the post paid envelope with a fake address, like Jimmy Carter, Plains Georgia. If more people did this we could probably reduce the public debt.
I had to look it up! Carter was using that in connection with his energy policy. Among his flaws, his preachiness was most obnoxious. He got old real early.
At the time Carter was in office, I just thought he was totally inept. Only later did I think maybe he was actually evil. But it would be impossible to beat bill clinton in that league.
Know how to make a Jimmah Carter sandwich?
You're gonna tell me, right?
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