Posted on 12/04/2006 7:24:54 PM PST by Nasty McPhilthy
Why Jimmy Carter would want to be buried in foreign soil is anybody’s guess, but the former president, whose administration was the economic equivalent of root canal while in the throes of amoebic dysentery, has announced his funeral plans.
Carter wants to be buried in front of his home in Plains, Georgia. At this point, we can only speculate how many of brother Billy’s empty beer cans will be dug up by the backhoe. Any bets?
Jimmy also wants a funeral in Washington, which promises to be quite the somber experience. It’ll be like Ronald Reagan’s funeral without all the pesky people getting in your line of sight.
It’s often said that Carter “was a better ex-president than president,” but trying to decide if Jimmy was a better president or ex-president is like figuring out if you prefer the hemorrhoid on the left butt cheek, or the right one.
Carter is probably still in full-blown “Enzyte Bob” mode, as his pal and anti-American goon Hugo Chavez just won re-election as president of Venezuela.
The legacy that Jimmy Carter will leave behind once his funeral plans are fulfilled would be comical if it weren’t dangerous. The self-appointed Special Ambassador to Everywhere has spent the better part of a few decades using his platform as a former president of the U.S. to practice conflict resolution overseas, bash America, and encourage murderers and their victims to find common ground.
Not long ago, Carter monitored the Palestinian elections, where the Islamic militant group Hamas won an overwhelming majority in the legislature.
Here’s what Jimmy Carter had to say about the Palestinian election mere hours after the voting: “The elections were completely honest, completely fair, completely safe and without violence.” We can only wish Carter could offer that same type of knee-jerk deference to an American election.
Remember the days when Billy was the embarrassing Carter?
What Jimmy Carter, knowingly or unknowingly, said to the world that day was that suicide bombings and other violence at polling places won’t occur as long as terrorists are allowed a spot on the ballot.
There are two options with Jimmy Carter: He’s either a gullible fool in search of a legacy or a closet despot lover in search of a closet.
Back in 2002, Carter visited Cuba and hooked up with Fidel Castro for what almost resembled a creepy eHarmony.com ad. At the time, Carter’s visit rankled nerves in the Bush administration because it was thought that Castro had, at the very least, a limited biological-weapons program.
Carter came out of his trip doubting that Cuba had any such programs. Why? You guessed it: Because Castro told him he didn’t. Well, that and because Castro granted Carter “free access to any place that you may wish to see” (with 24-hour notice for “tidying up”). The Cuban government also told its people that they were free to speak openly with Carter, provided they were polite, courteous and willing to spend the next 20 years in a labor camp.
Why does Jimmy Carter seem to have a soft spot for less than desirable dictators and varied despots around the globe? Simply psychology. The malaise, stagflation, low morale, high misery index, bad leisure suit and disco years that were his presidency look great next to the human rights violations, oppression and violent iron fisted rule of the likes of Castro, Hamas, Chavez, Ahmadinejad, et al.
Carter has figured out what’s helped many an ex-president out of a bad legacy jam. You can’t change history, but you can alter your present company. As Rodney Dangerfield’s character eloquently put it in his movie Back to School, “If you want to look thin, hang out with fat people.”
Jimmy Carter has announced his burial plans, and word has it that he’s already down in Plains trying to mediate the dirt out of the hole. I’m a little surprised that Carter didn’t want to be buried in Venezuela, Cuba, or the Middle East — a little closer to home.
Once a traitor ... always
Why wait?
Bury him in Iranian desert sand. .....head first.
Bury him 12 feet deep, because deep deep down he was a good person!!!
I posted this on another Carter burial thread but I am gonna post it again. How can he be buried in his front yard, they won't let me be buried in the back yard? I have to line all the pockets, be stretched out, etc. Money, money money. Can't escape it. I want to know how it is legal for him?
Can we buried him in Cuba somewhere like in A HOLE
I just got a begging letter in the mail today from something called the Jimmy Carter Institute. I simply can't imagine how on earth I got on their mailing list. I was tempted to send back the postpaid envelope empty, but refrained. Who knows? Maybe 3 or 4% of the money they collect might go to a good cause, and I wouldn't want to deprive anyone. Now if it had been Planned Parenthood, I would have shot it back to them in an instant.
Hmm, a blessing and a shame. A blessing in that he is unworthy of being buried in this great nation. A shame because I was hoping to water the flowers on his grave.
A pig farm in China would be a great place to bury the X-President.
Here's a quarter, so the digging can begin.
Exactly. I hate long goodbyes.
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Call me confused. What's foriegn about Plains Georgia? Looks like the headline needs to be fixed.
The current GOP Congress should vote to deny Carter a State Funeral.
Hell, I don't know which was worst, his brothers beer, or his presidential legacy. If he dropped a bomb on Iran during the hostage situation, we most likely wouldn't be dealing with these terrorist today.
Bury him in Iran; he deserves to be buried with the mullahs he brought to power.
It isn't every day that a Nobel "Peace" Prize winner gets a nuclear-powered ATTACK submarine named after him. LOL! The Oslo hippies that give out the Nobel really blew it with that one. What a bunch of unicycle riding clowns.
Ping
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