Posted on 11/16/2006 7:07:33 AM PST by qam1
Those who say that men don't like women with brains and careers are misleading women, says New York columnist Christine B. Whelan, author of "Why Smart Men Marry Smart Women," published this year.
Ms. Whelan, 29, says she wrote the book, in part, to respond to New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd's claim in her 2005 book "Are Men Necessary?" that success decreases a woman's chance for marriage.
"This isn't good news," Ms. Whelan said about reading the book when she was single and had just finished her doctoral degree in economic and social history. "The social scientist in me knew better than to accept this conventional wisdom without doing research of my own."
Ms. Whelan researched U.S. Census Bureau data, commissioned a national opinion survey and conducted interviews with more than 100 high-achieving men and women in nine cities to gather material for her book. What she found was that high-achieving women -- women with graduate degrees and/or an income in the top 10 percent of women in their age group -- married at the same rate as all other women did, but later in life, and that outdated information and misinterpreted statistics had women believing otherwise.
She calls these women SWANS, or Strong Women Achievers, No Spouse
The statistics Ms. Whelan provides in her book show that American women marry by an average age of 30 if they have a graduate degree, the median age for all women to marry is 25, and 90 percent of women marry by 44.
"Ms. Dowd is painting the wrong picture for our generation," Ms. Whelan said, adding that Ms. Dowd was right in saying that prior to the 1980s, it was more difficult for smart, successful women to get married and have children............
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtontimes.com ...
This is very true.
I think you're on the right track. Keep in mind that their definition of "smart" women are women who have stayed in academia longer getting advanced degrees, and have had more time to get infected by campus feminist dogma
In order to have a successful relationship, there must be some degree of forsaking a little of what you want, in order to make the other person happy. Women who are not willing to do this will lose out to women who are willing
Also keep in mind that a successful man is generally willing to marry a woman who makes less than him and has less education, while the highly educated woman is not. This greatly reduces the number of possible prospects
I have consistently found that a strange thing for either a man or woman to say. When I probe it, I always confess that I just don't think I have the perspective, detachment, or clarity to evaluate my own emotional/mental strength or independence. This observation & distinction tends to befuddle whoever I am speaking with. Smart folks, I suppose, huh?
Women with higher degrees can be nasty customers, but so can women of all educational levels. Other things being equal, I'll take a woman with high intelligence -- in this day and age, it's likelier to be a woman with a BA or higher. Smart women are much easier for smart men to talk to, much more interesting, and tend to have better values (again, other things being equal). And I say that as a guy does not believe the nonsense about looks being unimportant.
I should have my gorgeous, high-IQ engineering-major daughter come over to your place and beat you up for that
Great story! Also chalk it up a bit to maturity on the part of the males in your life later on, and the immaturity on the part of the males of your life back in school.
I know several women who in their younger, immature years would find any reason to disqualify a male suitor, but just a few years later aren't nearly as picky. Same with men.
LOL!
Actually, I remember an engineering student telling me that the PGR (Pretty Girl Ratio) drops dramatically the higher you go in engineering.
You have to be lucky to find a_perfect_gentleman then. There are men out there who want the same things you do. It's just tough to find 'em.
When Mr. Right comes along, he's Mr. Right. It happens when you least expect it.
Some "life coach" types teach people to say "I am strong, I am powerful" as a sort of daily affirmation, but it isn't the sort of thing you are supposed to repeat to others, even in print. Affirmations are for personal transformation - repeat them to others and they sound like false bravado. ;)
Yep. It's amazing what adding a few years does to you.
I know several women who were really picky about men, and never got married. Then they wait too long, and the number of single men goes way down.
I had given up on dating. I had gone out with this one guy, and I was just sick of the whole dating thing.
Then I met my husband, and went out with him. It was fireworks with the first kiss!!!!
Imagine finding you here. ;)
You all deal with smart women all the time. Most of the women on FR are above average IQ. You must like something about us.
Well... don't be fooled by the fact that I mentioned student loans; I'm not a 20-something. I'm not even a 30-something as of 2005 (ahem). I'm just saying... actually, I'm not sure what I'm saying. I guess I'm protesting the tone of this article. It's as if they are painting all single women as either desperate or hostile. Some of us are neither. I have known some very nice men, but I left them because I just wasn't in love. That and I do feel that most men (even my beloved fellow Freepers) often have a bit of a tendency to feel that women should earn their fair share of the rent but do more (WAY more) than their fair share of the housework. I leave not hating them, just... tired, and in need of safe solitude. And grateful to go back to only having to do dishes 4 times a week, as opposed to 10.
I guess there was no real point to my remarking on this thread at all. I just hate seeing women like myself always painted as either a bitter MoDo or a desperate Sex in the City drone.
please do...heheheh... :-)
First, you should know I am from small southern town of 15K, 80K in county. I am Protestant, conservative, yet like to have a good time and enjoy a good drink.
There are three or four categories that I see. First, there are those women who are condescending to men, belittling men no matter how sincere or how much effort they put into their relationship. Nothing the man can do is good enough. Next are the women that are high maintenance, highly demanding from a materialistic point of view - status seekers; snooty. Then there are some that look fine, are fun, but do not inspire confidence (trust) for the long haul, if you understand what I am saying. Finally, I am appalled at the percentage of women who take no pride in their appearance: badly overweight (I can take 20 - 25 pounds heavy) bad hair, bad clothes, etc. These are women that could look great if they just try.
I guess I am a bit spoiled because I was married to a beautiful woman for almost 20 years. But, again, it was attitude that destroyed our marriage. In a lot of these cases, it boils down to attitude.
Women
Acheivers,
Romantically
Troubled
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