Parody Kerry's "misinterpreted" insult

N/A | November 2, 2006 | Self (vanity)

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Kerry's "misunderstood" insult demands parody.

"Red Badger" started things off with this zinger:

"If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well, you'll get stuck in a FEMA trailer............"

When I read that, I realized that Kerry gave us a setup line for a whole new genre of jokes.

The challenge is complete the sentence: "Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck ...." Here was my contribution:

"... in a ditch with Cindy."

"Redbadger" improved on that one thus:

" ... in a ditch with a B__CH!"

Other contributions so far include:

"...you end up defending insulting elitist snobs!"

"...in the U.S. Senate, getting a contact high from Ted Kennedy."

"...on a roof in New Orleans."

" ...in a CHORUS LINE."

" ... writing editorials for the Seattle P-I for the rest of your life!"

Over to you FReepers -- the possibilities seem endless.

[Chena]

What a hilarious thread you've started, USFRIENDINVICTORIA!! The replies are absolutely hysterical!

HUMOR BUMP!!!!!!

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Thanks Chena -- glad you're enjoying it as much as me.

[Chena]

"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck having to tell lies the rest of your life to try and make yourself look good."

[drierice]

"...If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, you'll vote for liberals like me and get stuck with higher taxes." - Jon Carry

[Chena]

"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Vietnam."

[polymuser]

"...on a date with Helen Thomas."

[matt1234]

"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck ... with a rich wife who owns your a** and won't shut up."

[TigersEye]

"Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. ...

... If you don't, you Swift Boat yourself. And your party too.

[USFRIENDINVICTORIA]

Maybe this one?

[drierice]

Dissection of a flip flop: "So here's a real knee slapper for ya'... Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. And if you don't, you get stuck on Imus, explaining to everyone how you botched a joke... apparently a joke nobody is smart enough to get but me. Anyone who doesn't think it's funny are liars and right wing nutcases."

[Chena]

LOL! That summed it up very well! I do believe the Dems are now looking at Kerry as a leper. ;)

[My2Cents]

Leave Hillary out of this.

[bybybill]

If you work hard and study ,you will do well. If not, you will be stuck today in Montana with Bush.

[FlingWingFlyer]

"If you work hard, do your homework and fail to memorize the bursting radius of an M-79 grenade, you'll get stuck in the ass. (To Unbotch, add "Like me!!")

[Tench_Coxe]

"If you work hard and study hard, you'll do well. If you don't, well,
.....you'll get to marry a drunken heiress who eats gin soaked raisins, be a Senator-for-Life from a Northeastern State, and despite the long face, escape the glue factory!

[Tench_Coxe]

let's cue up the Addams Family theme...

[Tench_Coxe]

Aw heck. It was all a 'botched joke', people.

[littlehouse36]

Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't...

you get stuck in a tanning booth and your face turns orange.

[JerseyJohn61]

Unfortunately, the biggest laugh is on us all,
particularly on the Commonwealth of Mass.

I mean that the person of Jon Carrey is like
a "stumble-bum" character out of a Woody Allen
script.

He tries twice to be student exempted from NAM.
When that fails, he volunteers for an outfit that
he believes will keep him out of combat, only to
discover, that this choice has drawn him directly
into combat.

He finds an exist from the war by being decorated
thrice by wounds that he caused to his own dumb-
assed self.

Finds himself back stateside, where he creates an
absolutely ridiculous story in order to absolve
himself from the fray. He finds himself a huge hero
for the left as the wind is now blowing his way.

He is then elected to several of the most prestigious
offices in the land. Marries a filthy rich widow, who
still has not "over-rippened". Finds himself a much
ballyhooed Senator despite making no contributions
to the legislative process.
Instead he throws great cocktail parties.
He then runs for His Nation's highest office, and
from then on...is continually tripping over himself
as he attempts to remove his foot from his mouth
as well as his thumb from his tush....JJ61

[BradyLS]

Education...if you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in a closet and told to "shut yer freakin' yapper" until after the election.