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The movies stink, so we're closed. Go see `Jackass 2' somewhere else.
Chicago Tribune ^ | September 29, 2006 | Bob Secter

Posted on 09/29/2006 7:45:48 AM PDT by Mike Bates

HOOPESTON, Ill. -- The "closed" sign went up a few weeks ago on the flashy neon marquee outside the Lorraine Theatre, but the 84-year-old movie palace on Main Street hasn't played its last picture show. Business isn't bad. It's the movies that are wretched.

"Both theaters in Hoopeston are closed ... because of such poor film choices available," explains a recording on the Lorraine's customer hot line. "Go to Danville to see `Jackass 2.'"

Car dealers wouldn't tell buyers to take a hike until better models came out. No chef worth his ladle would shoo paying diners off to the competition because his kitchen is in a slump. Yet that's essentially what Lorraine owner Greg Boardman did this month.

He put his two screens here on hiatus rather than sell tickets to the gross-out and freak-out fare he said Hollywood distributors have made available in recent weeks. Boardman said he'd rather show nothing than such recent offerings as "Beerfest," "The Covenant" or the "Jackass" sequel, which topped the nation's box office last week despite getting savagely panned by critics. A Tribune review labeled it "an insult to sophomoric movies everywhere."

"There's just so much lousy material out there--people vomiting on the screen," explained Boardman, 52, a local boy who now lives in California and uses the Internet to run the Lorraine from there. "I have one of the finest sound systems in the world, and I don't want to waste it on such drivel."

(Excerpt) Read more at chicagotribune.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; US: Illinois
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To: Petronski

Those lucky enough to have repertory houses in their town enjoy this stuff. One of the great experiences of filmgoing life was seeing Tati's Playtime and Kurosawa's 'Ran' on the big screen.


41 posted on 09/29/2006 8:19:20 AM PDT by Borges
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To: dfwgator

I went to see Snakes on a Plane, I knew it was a bad movie, but wanted to get out house and didn't want any politically correct message.


42 posted on 09/29/2006 8:20:01 AM PDT by mel
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To: Petronski

that's really true. Before the VHS tape came along, there were "revival houses" that showed good old movies on (somewhat) big screens. No profit in doing that anymore, I guess, but it would be nice.


43 posted on 09/29/2006 8:20:32 AM PDT by babble-on
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To: dfwgator

Then that's his fault for signing a bad contract. Condemning the entire industry with a demonstrably false statement because he signed a bad contract would be a silly thing to do.


44 posted on 09/29/2006 8:20:49 AM PDT by discostu (you must be joking son, where did you get those shoes)
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To: Fiddlstix; Slings and Arrows
How could he not consider Jackass 2 Oscar material?

Now that my sarcasm meter is pegged, I will admit that I will very likely watch the movie in question. I love that sort of stuff.
45 posted on 09/29/2006 8:22:10 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Viva EspaƱa!)
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To: Catholic Canadian
I disagree. 90% of the movies made have always stunk, from the advent of talkies up to the present day.
46 posted on 09/29/2006 8:24:02 AM PDT by wireman
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To: PhilCollins
The Marx brothers were in some great comedies that didn't use profanity.

How much profanity was in Casablanca? I seem to forget hearing any f bombs, s bombs, or similar expressions so common to our present day culture.

Actually, I don't remember hearing a "damn" or "hell".

Little did the Hayes office know the damage they would do when they let Wreck Butler issue a "Frankly my dear, I don't give a d_word."

47 posted on 09/29/2006 8:25:28 AM PDT by Ole Okie
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To: Mike Bates

Why can't hollywood,with multi-million dollar budgets produce a movie that is simply entertaining?Are writers simply out of ideas?The last movie i saw at a theatre was "The Day After Tomorrow".From the previews on TV i assumed it was worth watching.Disappointing.Last night i lucked out and saw "Seige(?)of Firebase Gloria".Starring everyones favorite gunny.Anyways,it's simply an entertaining movie.Made on a shoestring budget,w/o the high priced primadonna actors hollyweird shoves down our throats.


48 posted on 09/29/2006 8:25:39 AM PDT by Thombo2
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To: wireman

I agree that movies have always stunk, but offensive movies are a relatively recent phenomenon.


49 posted on 09/29/2006 8:26:26 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Mike Bates

While I respect his position, I think he should have made his case even more pronounced - He should have run some classics like Breakfast at Tiffany's, Casablanca - even My Fair Lady!! Anything from the 30s to around the early 70s would be better than the current dreck posing as Hollwierd's latest fare.


50 posted on 09/29/2006 8:28:02 AM PDT by DustyMoment (FloriDUH - proud inventors of pregnant/hanging chads and judicide!!)
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To: Xenalyte; Fiddlstix; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; SandyInSeattle; Darksheare; ..
I'm still waiting for Dr. Detroit 2: The Wrath of Mom.


51 posted on 09/29/2006 8:29:03 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Burglar drops dresser, shot in chest, fills drawers." --Titan Magroyne)
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To: dfwgator
Yeah...good for him idealogically...but what a business moron.

Instead of closing the theatre because he can't stand showing the latest drek from Hollyweird, why not simply run films that he is comfortable with and his patrons would like to see?

"The Guns of Navarone"
"The Godfather, Part II"
"Patton"
"High Noon"
"Around the World in 80 Days" with David Niven
"Adam's Rib"
"Inherit The Wind"

Just to name a few...

After all, it's about putting a$$es in seats, isn't it?

52 posted on 09/29/2006 8:30:46 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (I can't complain...but sometimes I still do.)
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To: Chuck Dent

The greats like Marlon Brando, Gregory Peck, Chalton Heston, Humphrey Bogart, Robert Mitchum, Vivian Leigh, Lauren Bacall, Audrey Hepburn, etc, are being replaced with the likes of Leo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, etc. Is it any wonder why most modern films suck?


53 posted on 09/29/2006 8:31:07 AM PDT by stm (Katherine Harris for US Senate!)
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To: Mike Bates

Maube he should get some of the REALLY good blockbusters of old and just run those for a few months.


54 posted on 09/29/2006 8:40:14 AM PDT by Centurion2000 ("Be polite and courteous, but have a plan to KILL everybody you meet.")
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To: DustyMoment

My cynical side says they're doing some renovations at this movie theater that require it to close for a couple of weeks, and this is the owner's way of doing it in a manner that generates a lot of publicity.


55 posted on 09/29/2006 8:45:11 AM PDT by Alberta's Child (Can money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep?)
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To: Mike Bates

The last several times I had some free time and thought about going to the cineplex, there was absolutely nothing I had any desire to see.


56 posted on 09/29/2006 8:53:22 AM PDT by Unam Sanctam
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To: PhilCollins; stm
Why did the amount of profanity in movies increase within the past 50 years?

Part of the answer may be:
Ward and June Have Left the Expletive Deleted Building

In the past I’ve written that never have I heard someone leaving a theater say to the person he’s with, “You know, honey, I liked that movie, but I just wish it had had a lot more cussin’.

The point was that, despite its pervasiveness in entertainment, bad language isn’t something demanded by most consumers. It is, it seems to me, just tossed in gratuitously many times.

A recent study suggests I may be wrong.

More

57 posted on 09/29/2006 8:53:43 AM PDT by Mike Bates (Irish Alzheimer's victim: I only remember the grudges.)
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To: Mike Bates

When you get handed lemons, make lemonade. Pull out some of the all-time classic (or highly entertaining and popular in their time)flicks and run a revival!


58 posted on 09/29/2006 9:12:07 AM PDT by JimRed ("Hey, hey, Teddy K., how many girls did you drown today?" (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help m)
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To: Mike Bates

He should try to get ahold of some good, classic movies. I'd go to the theater to see a great old B&W movie.


59 posted on 09/29/2006 9:15:20 AM PDT by alnick
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To: Mike Bates

speaking of movies that stink, I just heard that Matt Damon is going to play a young captain Kirk in the next Star Trek movie about when Kirk is training at starfleet academy.

And Robert Downey Jr is going to be the lead in the Iron Man movie.


60 posted on 09/29/2006 9:20:47 AM PDT by Proud_USA_Republican (We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. - Hillary Clinton)
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