Freegards, RobFromGa
Posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:24 AM PDT by RobFromGa
Dear Rob,
"Cheated" twice with a couple beers a couple times over the last couple days, though, nominally, it'll be three weeks "clean" on Tuesday. This adds to guilt, but is the only way I can get myself relaxed enough to keep from bawling out of extremely-uncool and undeserved self-pity.
I'm under great medical observation, and a crapload of antidepressants [x,y, and z].
Tell me, Rob, what it is I'm recovering "from" and why, since this world is such a [messed up] place? When I was a drunk, sure, I'd be moody in the mornings, productive at work (and I NEVER drank during the day), and everyone's friend once I got home. Now it's just constant depression and having to face a [messed] up world (with way too many liberals in it .
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence. That last sentence isn't a "cry for help - please hug me I'm hurting, Oprah" throwaway - it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.
You're an Internet pal, trustworthy by sheer virtue of being a Conservative, and, your advice and wisdom is easier to follow exactly because I do NOT know you personally.
If you don't mind redacting my screenname, feel free to poll/ping the Recovery List. I'll "come out" when I'm ready, I promise.
God Bless You and have a great week,
I will pray!
Freegards, RobFromGa
"Please remember our recovering FRiend this Labor Day weekend in your prayers!"
Well, after a couple hundred good posts with caring advice and sentiment,
I think Recovering FRiend needs a momentary diversion.
And the only cure for that is MORE SPORK WEASEL!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1674019/posts
A look back at this recent FR classic should provide a bit of Labor Day levity!
That thread is one of the funniest things I have ever seen on Free Republic, thanks so much for linking it...
How'd our good FRiend do through the long week-end? Prayers still!
Lando 
Any news on Recovering Friend's progress?
Just curious...
And if "no news" maybe that's good news!
I've been in contact with him via Freepmail just about every day, and he is doing well. I've asked him if he wants to give an update for the thread, and I'm sure that he'll provide one at some point.
Thanks for asking about him, I'm sure he appreciates the concern...
Sorry, I missed your post in a bunch of other pings. See the previous post for an answer to your query...
Sorry, I missed your post in a bunch of other pings. See the previous post for an answer to your query...
Getting clean and sober is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but it is also the thing that has brought the greatest gifts of my life in the last 20 years--incredible gifts I would never have experienced had I not gotten sober.
Many of those gifts came not just from putting down the bottle, going to meetings, working with a sponsor and through the steps, but also getting on the other side of a lot of challenges, pain and several other addictions. All of which I have been able to work through with the support of trusting in God, cleaning house and working with others.
I know you understand the gifts. Thanks again and many prayers to your FRiend.
Rob,
My sister died yesterday. She ended up succumbing to a subarachnoid brain hemorrhage after first suffering from liver failure, kidney failure, and pneumonia. In reality she died of alcoholism. Her name was Wendy and she was 46.
I don't know what the status of your friend is, but I just wanted to share her story and let it be known that the alcoholic death is an ugly, painful death. I was warned ahead of time that it would be bad, but never could have fully anticipated the nightmare. This was not just "going to sleep" like in Leaving Las Vegas. It was lingering pain, agony, and suffering - for her and those that loved her and had to watch death creep in.
As her health began to fail she talked about getting clean, but by then it was too late, there was no going back. I don't know if my sister's story is important or will help anyone out there, but this thread has stuck with me as I have dealt with this and watched her condition deteriorate. I guess the odds would dictate that most alcoholics won't end up in her situation, but, man, for those that do...
And to think it all started with so much fun. But now she's gone. My sister is dead.
Steve
Thanks for posting this, Steve. We all have demons, just some have worse ones than others.
I have a family member that is going down this same path. Unfortunately, everyone around her is enabling her, even though all of them know what it does. I only hope that she sees the light before it is too late.
You can't do anything for a person like this. They must do it themselves. The best you can do is to be there for them when they quit.
My prayers for your sister.
I am no Bible scholar, so I can't give you the exact chapter and verse; but, I do know that the Bible plainly states that when you cannot pray for yourself God "utters prayers for you". I was struck by the importance of that phrase because I have had many times myself that I just could not pray for a number of reasons. Please know that you are not alone. God is with you ALWAYS!
Try and don't regret (although you are right, ultimately they must do it themselves).
Steve
**but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.**
Know that God loves you just the way you are and can help you revover one day at a time. Jesus came to redeem sinners, never hesitate to pray. Even if it is for help for the next five minutes.
May God bless you on your journey.
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