Posted on 08/28/2006 4:09:24 AM PDT by RobFromGa
Dear Rob,
"Cheated" twice with a couple beers a couple times over the last couple days, though, nominally, it'll be three weeks "clean" on Tuesday. This adds to guilt, but is the only way I can get myself relaxed enough to keep from bawling out of extremely-uncool and undeserved self-pity.
I'm under great medical observation, and a crapload of antidepressants [x,y, and z].
Tell me, Rob, what it is I'm recovering "from" and why, since this world is such a [messed up] place? When I was a drunk, sure, I'd be moody in the mornings, productive at work (and I NEVER drank during the day), and everyone's friend once I got home. Now it's just constant depression and having to face a [messed] up world (with way too many liberals in it .
I'm a very proud, spiritual Christian, but I'm even too ashamed to pray, at least at length, since both He and I know that I am the problem.
The real abstraction here is if this horrid beautiful watery place is better with or without my presence. That last sentence isn't a "cry for help - please hug me I'm hurting, Oprah" throwaway - it's a serious question about which me is better: the happy, intoxicated, likely-to-be-shorter-lived friend of everyone, or the stoic, medicated, spooked, depressed sober me who no one will ever trust again since he had such "deep issues".
What I need is reason/cognition/rationalization, and maybe I'll increase my [x] or extend it for a couple more weeks.
You're an Internet pal, trustworthy by sheer virtue of being a Conservative, and, your advice and wisdom is easier to follow exactly because I do NOT know you personally.
If you don't mind redacting my screenname, feel free to poll/ping the Recovery List. I'll "come out" when I'm ready, I promise.
God Bless You and have a great week,
Go to meetings.
Read your Big Book.
Talk to your sponsor.
Above all else keep it simple.
To Rob's friend:
Don't you even begin to think that way. It might not be a "call for help" but the seed has been planted and will grow. My husband committed suicide in April. Are we better off without him? Hell no. I will love and miss him untill the day I die as will his sons and daughter.
Get rid of the antidepresents. The wrong ones for you contribute to your depression. Take up a physical activity. Jogging, running, weight lifting, anything.
Get off the selfpity wagon or I may have to kick you off it myself.
That being said I'm sending you a cyber-hug because I know too well what you are going through.
Never, ever be ashamed to pray. Perhaps God is just waiting for you to turn to Him. I will be praying for you everyday.
If the anti-depressants aren't helping, his next steps ought to be exercise and cognitive therapy.
The exercise is useful anyway and gets dopamine flowing through his body. A good wear-yourself-out game of hoops or running or whatever will work up a good head of sweat will help on several levels.
Cognitive therapy is a psychological counseling that does not need any drugs. It helped me through my depression. This fellow is flooded with negative thoughts. What cognitive therapy does is help to break down negative thoughts and examine them as to whether they are true. Most of the time, they are either not true or exaggerated which then become obstacles to corrective behavior.
An example depressed statement: "My work at the office is useless."
The patient is then asked to come up with specific examples where his work was not useless. Then he must re-examine his statement and realize the statement is a lie. Sounds corny but once you train yourself to attack depressing lies the mind tells itself, you can overcome the issues behind the depression.
There are, IMO, two types of depression: one from chemical imbalances that anti-depressants should treat, the other from emotional depression based on negative circumstances. When medication does not appear to help, exercise and cognitive therapy are the next step.
As a recovering alcoholic, he probably also needs a buddy who can hold him accountable for taking a drink. And, as a Christian, a prayer partner is also recommended.
I haven't read all the comments but that's my untrained diagnosis.
Get off the selfpity wagon or I may have to kick you off it myself.
That being said I'm sending you a cyber-hug because I know too well what you are going through.
Never, ever be ashamed to pray. Perhaps God is just waiting for you to turn to Him. I will be praying for you everyday.
Sorry for your recent loss - good advice.
Prayers for your friend through these difficult times. May God speed him on the road to recovery.
I have long felt the 'Me' synddrome, which turned up in the 70's and 80's, has been the root of the shift in our country's core values.
Thanks sometimes I still feel badly about it. I didn't mentin that my then nine year old niece ate with us and became ill as well. She has had continuing health problems...bacteria can be very dangerous. I appreciate your kinds words.
thanks for your prayers for our FRiend
Thanks and have a great day Tonkin!
Thanks for the prayers...
Thanks for your helpful insights...
thanks for sharing your thoughts with our FRiend...
Good advice! It helped me.
I hope he is honest with his Doctors, I think he is, and they will be able to find the right combination that helps his body to make the adjustments needed.
Writing things out always forces me to clarify my thinking, sometimes I start out with one premise and by the time I am through, I feel the opposite.
Thanks for sharing...
thanks for the link!
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