Posted on 07/26/2006 7:17:10 AM PDT by carlo3b
Sorry, but my children bore me to death!
by HELEN KIRWAN-TAYLOLR, Daily Mail 08:00am 26th July 2006It's the start of the summer holidays, when millions of mothers despair at how to entertain their children for the next six weeks. What none of them dare say is that they would rather their children were still at school or, frankly, anywhere else. Helen Kirwan-Taylor, a 42-year-old writer, lives in Notting Hill, West London, with her businessman husband Charles and their sons Constantin, 12, and Ivan, ten. Here, she argues provocatively that modern women must not be enslaved by their children.
The lies started when my eldest son was less than ten months old.
Invitations to attend a child's birthday party or, worse, a singalong session were met with the same refrain: 'I would love to but I just can't spare the time.'
The nanny was dispatched in my place, and almost always returned complaining that my son had been singled out for pitiful stares by the other mothers.
(snip) Kids are supposed to be fulfilling, life-changing, life-enhancing fun: why was my attitude towards them so different?While all my girlfriends were dropping important careers and occupying their afternoons with cake baking, I was begging the nanny to stay on, at least until she had read my two a bedtime story. What kind of mother hates reading bedtime stories? A bad mother, that's who, and a mother who is bored rigid by her children.
(snip) Am I a lazy, superficial person because I don't enjoy packing up their sports kit, or making their lunch, or sitting through coffee mornings with other mothers discussing how Mr Science (I can't remember most of the teachers' names) said such and such to Little Johnny and should we all complain to the headmaster.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
And, pardon my frankness, but last night my wife informed me that our daughter was getting, er, "buds". Has to wear an undershirt from now on. How the heck can this happen??? She's started talking on the phone for long periods of time, and watching Disney pre-teen shows instead of cartoons.
Scares me to death. This is all happening too fast.
How anyone can find parenting boring is beyond me. Maybe terrifying, heartbreaking, and endlessly funny. But BORING?
I completely agree with you. But this was about motivation. Yours is correct.
So true.
My mother had a governess for each of her four daughters. When we girls get together now, no one can recall a hug or our mother ever saying "I love you" to us. Not one of us can come up with a visual image of her prior to our reaching age 10. It was a though she just flitted by on her way out the door to the opera, dinner party, or whatever. We walked on eggshells around her. At 86, she now lives with me (my sisters rarely, if ever, visit her). It's really quite sad that she alienated the exact people that could comfort her in her old age.
In contrast, I'm afraid I smother my two kids with hugs, kisses, love, and affection.
I am exactly the same way. My husband and I go out to dinner a couple times a year when my parents are visiting. Other than that, I call a sitter once in a while to entertain the kids so I can have some time off, but I don't leave the house.
My oldest are nearly 13 and 12, so in a couple years, we should be able to get out together a little more often.
AMEN.
Amen. On the mommy side of course.
You only forgot "humbling." ; )
That, too.
I actually do want and like children, I just know someone who is very close to me who doesn't. I believe that children are too precious to used as a way to persuade someone to grow up or become affectionate, or to save a faulty relationship.
LOL!! Isn't that the truth? The other day I was talking to my brother and said, "I guess mom and dad were right after all." Then I paused and added, "But don't tell them I said that." We cracked up.
How the heck can this happen???
I wish I knew! My neice is 8 and it's the same thing! I don't remember being so "worldly" at 8. I was all about Cabbage Patch Kids and Barbie back then. She loves when I get her clothes, but it's getting harder and harder to find things that are cute and trendy and not skanky. I mean, come on, hip-huggers for little girls??? They don't even have hips!
Guess, I got off on a tangent there, but I have no doubt you and your wife will survive the teen years and raise two great adults. :-)
Tell me about it........my daughter is 8 and finding clothes for her is getting more and more difficult.
Wow. Your story is truly inspirational. You found something in yourself that was not naturally bequeathed to you by your mother.
Amazing story of "breaking the chain." Good for you.
Count yourself lucky. Wife's friends and family are liberal to flaming feminist and I get to hear this tripe all the time. No idea what she has in common with them.
Some of her friends are pretty good Moms, but the ones that stick out, really stick out. My wife is a stay at home Mom, and I think that they simultaneously envy her, while they're guilty for their own selfishness of not being willing to make the sacrifices needed to stay at home. (Please note - they're ABLE to stay at home, all married, husbands have stable jobs, etc....they're just not WILLING to give up all the extras that losing a 2nd income entails)
The latest is that Mrs. WBill "shouldn't homeschool so that she doesn't lose her identity", whatever that means. And this is from my Mother in Law, who I would think would want the very best for her grandkid.
I'm very lucky in that my wife knows her own mind and is not afraid to tell them to get stuffed.
I am in agreement.
In that case, I sympathize with your wife. I hear the same things from my relatives, too. I have had to especially listen to the "what about socialization" question on homeschooling from them. Most had their kids in daycare at some point while they worked (as "professionals"). But, I must say, all my relatives enjoy being with their kids.
Luckily, my mother is very supportive of staying home. She had to listen to the same comments back in the 60's and 70's when she stayed home with us kids. In fact, she would've been upset if I put her grandkids in daycare.
I have never been bored for one second with my kids. At every age they are a delight. I do pity her children too; if she can't bear the simple little things, she must not be much comfort when they are truly sick or scared. What a sad childhood they must have.
First, I hope she is ready for the day when her husband tells her he has a young girlfriend because his wife bores him to death.
Also, I hope she is ready for the subdued hatred of the children who have to carry this public admission around and continually prove to their friends that they aren't really boring. They will probably decide to show her just how boring they aren't when they get just a bit older. I predict these kids will try to be hell-raisers and will succeed.
I know of a kid whose mother, the wife of a prominent politician, called him "the mistake", the "unplanned" kid, in an interview. I think he was in high school at the time. He loved her dearly for that, I'm sure.
So, if you have messed up with your kids in some way, shut the EFF up! They don't need to hear you essentially berating them publicly. They WILL get even.
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