So true.
My mother had a governess for each of her four daughters. When we girls get together now, no one can recall a hug or our mother ever saying "I love you" to us. Not one of us can come up with a visual image of her prior to our reaching age 10. It was a though she just flitted by on her way out the door to the opera, dinner party, or whatever. We walked on eggshells around her. At 86, she now lives with me (my sisters rarely, if ever, visit her). It's really quite sad that she alienated the exact people that could comfort her in her old age.
In contrast, I'm afraid I smother my two kids with hugs, kisses, love, and affection.
Wow. Your story is truly inspirational. You found something in yourself that was not naturally bequeathed to you by your mother.
Amazing story of "breaking the chain." Good for you.