Posted on 06/24/2006 5:53:10 PM PDT by Coleus
Soccer's catching on here in the United States, they tell me. We've reached the point where the American team is somewhat competitive in the World Cup. I like many things European, particularly the beer. But I have never quite fathomed soccer. Then yesterday I made the connection between the two. I turned on the TV to give the World Cup a try. Portugal was playing Mexico. People were falling over a lot and the ball was going everywhere but into the goal. The announcer seemed excited anyway. It turned out that Angola was playing Iran at the same time, he said. "If anything happens in that game, we'll switch over to it," he told us.
Well, there you have it: A direct admission from an expert that, during most of the typical soccer game, nothing happens. Yet that nothing seems tremen dously exciting to the fans. Throughout the game, they kept up a din so loud that it must have awakened the scorekeeper from the long naps he takes between goals.
Hence the need for beer. It is impossible to imagine sober people working themselves up into such a lather while nothing is happening on the field. And up till this tournament, European soccer fans had access to great quantities of high- quality stuff. The English have their wonderful ales, the Germans their lagers and so forth. That all changed this year. It seems that Anheuser-Busch paid $40 million to become the exclusive beer sponsor of the tournament, which is run by a group called FIFA, one of the initials of which stands for "football" even though it's a soccer tournament.
(Excerpt) Read more at nj.com ...
Interestingly, I've read that the reason American beer is tasteless is because of Prohibition. Only the biggest breweries were able to find the limited business available from the "medicinal" market and in using their equipment for other purposes. So, when Prohibition ended, they were the only ones left standing and they all made poor beer.
It is odd that the rest of the world celebrates a game where nothing happens. The net should be twice as wide. Then they would have fewer 1-0 games. How about 50-43? That would be more like it. An American game! We love to see things happen
Yea, the fan fights are the only thing interesting about soccer.
"The overwhelmingly triumphant celebration by players after a goal is so effusive and joyfully exultant, that you might think they just defeated the arch foe of all mankind and saved the planet from certain destruction,"
I agree, but I'm more of a fan than you apparently. But I'm posting because I watch Monday Night Football every week during NFL season. The intro and song is hilarious; my wife always asks if the intergalactic battle for supreme ruler of the universe is taking place and John Madden is officiating over what might well be life and death for each viewer. I laugh and get another beer.
Yeah. That would be real exciting ... just like those thrilling baskets that put a team up 12-8 in an NBA game.
Your post here reminds me of the comments made by a teenage girl regarding the most exciting baseball game I ever atrended. I was traveling with my Dad and staying in downtown Milwaukee when I was maybe 14. He had business that night and I rode a "Stadium Bus" out to County Stadium to watch the Braves. Lew Burdette pitched to the minimum 27 batters, and doubled in the only run in the 8th inning. (It wasn't a perfect game. Burdette hit a batter who was doubled off on the next play.) When I got on the bus to go back to the hotel, this girl sitting behind me said to her boyfriend, "Gee. What a boring game. They only scored one run."
ML/NJ
And while you're at it, increase the number of players on the field by, ehhh...let's say ten-fold. More players = more chances to score.
Oh, and give a pair of boxing gloves to everyone on each team, and make it legal for them to punch each other. That way, when they're not scoring, they can keep us entertained by knocking each other silly.
NOW you've got an interesting game! :D
I always heard that they avoided making stronger beer (greater than the typical 6% alcohol content) because they didn't want to bring back Prohibition.
That would make sense.
If you were running into random guys criticizing Michael Jordan's ability to dunk or Brett Favre's ability to throw a finger-breaking pass, your premise might make sense. Americans don't like soccer because we have a cultural bent towrd other types of games. It has nothing to do with whether the average American sports fan can move a ball around without his hands.
I've got 50 bucks on the English Hooligans but I had to give the German Hooligans 10 points.
Have you guys ever heard George carlin's routine about ways to make baseball, basketball and football more interesting?
Warning: Swallow all beverages before reading.
Yeah, and the entire population of Ghanarians paraded in the streets until dawn.
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