Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
So should pregnant miliatry wives whose husbands are killed in Iraq "seriously consider adoption to a loving couple", even when they very much want the baby themselves?
You're the one I would've guessed. ;^)
Why, here's little 1002.1 right here!
Or in the case of rape?
I don't think of the recently widowed as the same as other single women. Let's assume the guy is still around and there's no serious relationship there.
I guess everyone really was on drugs in the 60's.
Excellent satire - because it contains a large dose of truth.
"More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right."
That's because more umarried men in the 20-35 age category could care less about finding Miss Right. They're having a good time, get sex at will, would rather spend their money on flashy cars and an iPod and have seen what happens to the men in divorce. Why should they marry? The only reason left is to start a family and it appears most just don't give a shiite.
Thank you modern day feminism.
Adoption in the case of rape? What's wrong with that?
Oh, do you think the baby should be killed instead?
I think that makes perfect sense, too. Our laws (rightly) recognize a father's obligation to pay for care/schooling/support of his children.
Other than ruining their life (or making it highly probable to do so).
During the important nurturing years, Mom is working and the kid is warehoused (with Gramma if lucky, with strangers if not). The probability of a kid going to jail is massively higher for those from a single parent home.
And lets not start about the number of parental figures that will probably stomp through the kid's life, and the kid gets attached, then abandoned, attached, then abandoned, until he/she thinks he/she is of no worth.
It is a choice, but it is a selfish one. MMEEE MEEEE MEEEE! Who cares about the child's welfare, this is ALLL ABOOUT MEEEE!
Oh, and please don't hand me that crap about how someone you know did just fine -- some do, most don't.
If the TSA and NSA were on top of things these birth mothers and their resulting offspring would be registered in a national database:
Young miss Herzog could simply and anonamously be know as 1002.1 and her future offspring could then be known as 1002.1.1 and so on.
No more worries of inbreeding and 1,000 new beaureacratic positions are created to pump up the economy.
I agree. I think my friends would have found husbands long ago if so many men weren't concentrating on having fun for as long as their bodies and wallets hold out.
The sad thing is, if my friends were more irresponsible and slept around a bit, maybe they would have become pregnant by accident and at least had a child. But, because they are holding out for marriage, they don't have either one.
bump for later
Well, not exactly.
If, as argued, "gayness" is inherited, and a "can't help it" fact of life, A huge ticking time bomb is being created. The dilemma for real women will only get worse.
I am sure that one of the tests made at these sperm banks for suitability, totally ignores the "gay" gene...
I may be wrong but, given a choice, I believe that most normal human beings today would rather not have gay children.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
Sorry to burst your bubble, pal, but this has been going on for years, and not from sperm banks, but sperm doners in neighborhoods all over the country where children don't know who their fathers are...
Mark
You just blew your credibility as an analyst with that second to last sentence. The number of men killed in the current war is miniscule compared to those killed in prior conflicts and to other causes of death. By your logic the automobile is the cause of the fact that these women will have to raise children without fathers. The number of males killed in auto accident exceeds those killed in the "current war" by a factor at least in the 20s. (Less than 1000 deaths per year in Iraq/Afghanistan and more than 40,000 killed in auto accidents annually; divide 40,000 by two -- as approximately half auto-accident victims are male -- and you have the ratio.) Math helps cut through the bogus stuff on this board and allows us to see what is beneath and true.
Oh please, this type of mentality will keep special services teachers and counselors employed for years because they are the ones that actually try and undo what people like this woman do to kids. I have seen way too many children who were conceived and born just as a status symbol for their mothers and I have been given the task to try and undo what these women do (set boundaries for socially acceptable behavior for their children, try and teach the child by doing something the child does not find to his/her liking and therefore not wanting to do it and causing disruptions in the classroom, etc.). Children need fathers, plain and simple.
How do you have 'good parental lineage' without parents? Isn't the 'line" broken (with missing father & marriage)?
Side note: How do teenagers become responsible with condoms???
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.