"I go to a medical clinic and j*** off"
Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
This is scary. Very, scary.
Maybe society ought to be concentrating on raising men who are responsible. That is a huge problem in this Country.
I just want to echo and applaud your post. What you posted is exactly what is happening in this Country many many times over.
At least these women are thoughtfully and responsibly choosing to have children.
Are you saying a whackjob buys the result of a whackjob???
There's men and women that are selfish. Either of the sexes that choose to raise a kid in a one parent environment are hurting the kid and only thinking of their own satisfaction. The whole concept of family should be based on the nurturing of the kids, IMO.
I don't buy that view of IVF, but the fact is that the vast majority of these women are doing direct intrauterine insemination (IUI), not IVF, and thus the only embryos created are already inside them, just like the natural way. IVF costs about 20 times what IUI costs, and is rarely done unless repeated IUIs fail (in which case, doing it the natural way wouldn't have worked either).
Um.
Taking about a 'sucker' in a thread about sperm donors is... ummmm......
Y'know.
"The whole concept of family should be based on the nurturing of the kids, IMO."
I agree. But society today just isn't geared to doing that.
"Top Dollar Sperm Clinic
Beat your meat with us!
We pay wads of cash out daily"
Got it?
If you are single, make an effort to NOT to get pregnant.
If you are single and you get pregnant, seriously consider adoption to a loving couple.
My plastic doll seems so inadequate.
The statistics on outcomes for children raised by widows give lie to the myth that having a father in the home is essential to a child's well-being. The outcomes for children raised by widowed mothers are virtually identical to those of children raised in two-parent homes. Bulk statistics on outcomes for children of single mothers are massively skewed by the huge phenomenon of welfare-home teens girls having babies with street-gang young men who are also from welfare homes. Kids who are raised by just a mother do just fine if the mother is a decent person. And kids with teenage welfare moms wouldn't do any better if their thuggish fathers lived with them (they'd probably just join a street gang a little sooner). The children of these financially self-sufficient, educated, employed single-mothers-by-choice, will do just as well as the children of widows. Of which there will unfortunately be quite a lot in this coming generation, due to the large number of young men being killed in the war. Good for you for raising a child on your own!
I have to agree that that is the case with many people but not the case with many. Our society should return to the era of a family oriented society and it has to start somewhere. The first step should be to firm up the way marriage is looked upon and encourage raising kids by a mother and a father.
That's weird - I'd've guessed pissant.
"If you are single and you get pregnant, seriously consider adoption to a loving couple."
That maybe a choice that you find for you.
I see nothing wrong with choosing to raise a child yourself out of wedlock.
What concerns me most is how will these young fatherless children learn how to burp strange noises or realize they dont have to run to the bathroom to ease one out?
This could be a very big problem.
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