Need help in NJ with Dr. Kevorkian clones

[Simplemines]

I'm in desperate need of some advice and some help.

My husband was successfully operated on three months ago for pancreatic cancer. He was doing well til three weeks ago when he got dehydrated - a byproduct of the strong chemo regimen he was on.

He went to the hospital, where he was ignored and got worse. Within four days he went from dehydrated to septic shock, a situation the hospital caused by ignoring his symptoms.

He was on respirator, and I had all the Dr. Kevorkian clones running up to me all day to get me to sign a DNR (do not resusciate) order, despite that both my husband and I had decided after Terri's Schiavo's murder that we both wanted EVERYTHING done as long as possible.

Three weeks later, and after much threatening by me of anyone who even looked at him like they were measuring him for a coffin, he's getting better. The sepsis is gone. He's still weak and on a respirator, but two drs. today want to give him a tracheotomy and wean him off the vent.

Meanwhile, the dr. who went on vacation after my husband was admitted showed up. He wanted to talk to me, I thought, about the trach procedure. Instead, he blindsided me with some total BS about how my husband's "quality of life" isn't very good (no chit, Sherlock), and that he thinks my husband would rather just be taken off the respirator and be allowed to DIE.

Where this imbecile came up with this, I've NO idea. I had just seen my husband, who is 90 percent conscious and knows what's going on, and he nodded YES when I asked him if he wanted to live. (He also wrote it, weakly, on a pad.)

Dr. Kevorkian ran away when I told him that I'd put HIM on a respirator if he hurt my husband. He also acted like he "acquiesced" to my husband's and my wishes that he be allowed to recover from the infection this crummy hospital gave him that put him in ICU.

Now I'm scared to death that they're going to LET him die. We're a small family, and we can't be there 24/7 (it's an 80 mile roundtrip, and I am trying to do research because none of these drs. know enough to even learn his name, and they constantly contradict one another.)

I need HELP. I need advice. I need anyone who is northern NJ and wants to prevent a murder to help.

So please, if you know of any pro-life organizations, any anti-euthanasia groups, if you want to visit him and keep his spirits up (and make sure the Kevorkians don't get near him), please let me know. And please post with any suggestions.

God bless all of you. (And say a prayer for me, cause I'm going to pass out!)

[floriduh voter]

Another situation here re: a patient's rights.

[BykrBayb]

Thank you!

Happy Mom's Day to all the Moms out there.

[A CA Guy]

Good day, hope things are going better.

You and your family are in my thoughts in a good way.

Hope things are getting better for you. :)

[BykrBayb]

Bttt...

[Sun]

More prayers bump!

[TigersEye]

Prayers.

[BykrBayb]

Keep praying.

[Simplemines]

My husband's been moved to another hospital. He's still very critical.

Please keep up your prayers, and thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

[cyn]

Thanks for that update -- and wondering how things are going for you now? Please let us know if you need anything besides our prayers at this point. I do hope that you are not alone there with him -- hospitals are such tough places to be.

Pinging earlier responders + others. Does anyone have a NJ ping list in case there's anyone close?

[cyn]

My favorite FR bumper sticker: "You are not alone."

[VeritatisSplendor]

Prayers up again. Hoping things are better at the new hospital and that your husband is doing better also.

Mrs VS

[BykrBayb]

Cyn, thanks for the ping.

Simplemines, it's a relief to know your husband's been moved. I hope that means he has a more compassionate staff. I know he's still faced with some serious medical issues. I'll keep praying for a full recovery. It looks like he's being given a fighting chance. I know you're taking care of him. Don't forget to take care of yourself. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[TASMANIANRED]

Get him transferred to a Catholic Hospital closer to home.

[TASMANIANRED]

Putting in a trach after someone has been on the ventilator for a lengthy time, will ease weaning.

[TASMANIANRED]

All hospitals have an ethics department.

Make a formal complaint against the resident.

Make a formal complaint with his attending physician.

[TASMANIANRED]

I'm very happy that you had a good experience in good facilities.

Speaking as a nurse with 20+ years of hospital experience...a DNR is an excellent way of insuring deficient and neglectful care.

[A CA Guy]

a DNR is an excellent way of insuring deficient and neglectful care.

Don't know what ghetto you have been watching that happening at, but I've never seen it and I've seen everything from the elderly with that to younger people in cancer wards.

If you die, they won't try extraordinary means to make you a brain dead member of the family on a machine breaking the family bank for no reason.

[A CA Guy]

Good, he moving sounds like the best thing for you.

Prayers for you and your family. :)

[TASMANIANRED]

I wouldn't call my hospital a ghetto. It was a state of the art's high tech private facility.

The one aspect that you can never regulate is the attitude of the nurses.

I never, ever saw anything less than ethical care out of the nurses in the boomer generation.

Despite all the flaws of the me generation, we were still raised with Religion, family and respect for life.

The kids born after the 1970's were raised with abortion being a right, Kevorkian being a celebrity, Right to Die legislation and God being a forbidden word in school.

In general they do not have the same regard for life.

A good many of them do not view humans as anything other than thinking animals.
They do have the assumption that a DNR means you are comfortable with your own death and are ready.

I had to chastise a young nurse in ICU for saying "What the hell is this DNR doing in my ICU."

If you are a DNR that does not have a family member present to run interference for you, Your call light will be answered less promptly, they will be slower to call the physician for changes in your status, Deterioration will be ignored longer.

I was a huge fan of DNR when I was younger because I had an idealistic vision of peoples right to self determination.

Real life is vastly different. The law of unintended consequences took over.

I am profoundly opposed to DNR unless you are are already down the road to dying.

[A CA Guy]

DNRs are usually in the records of people but not presented to the facility giving care unless a condition is as bad as it gets and you think your loved one has suffered enough.

I do NOT think a DNR should just be sitting around on recored. It should be pre-signed and done legally and presented by family, friend or lawyer upon request only.
Or if they are not conscious they should be presented based on the person they trust who is monitoring the situation for them.

I'm also with you regarding post 1970 people.
As the population gets older and wants all these benefits, I have the feeling the young are going to be very for euthanasia.