Scott McClellan Resigns - nothing follows

FNC | 4-19-06

[STARWISE]

Rumors were true.

[Jim Verdolini]

We need a pit bull with a sense of humor. McClellan was simply toomuch a gentleman for the press corp. It was casting pearls before swine

[McGavin999]

I liked Torie a lot, but Josh would have to insist that she hire a personal shopper to dress her each day. Her taste in clothing was AWFUL! but boy was she sharp!

[KavMan]

I like the person that said Micheal Savage

Oh boy, that would be a riot!!!!!!!

[VOATNOW1]

Bush needs someone that can respond to questions while looking at the cameras. Ann Coulter has the wit and camera experience to do this kind of PR work and she is usually well prepared for the many questions that come with the job.
Rice will be the next to resign, while Rumsfield will most likely hang on to the end.

[KavMan]

There is no way Rice is resigning

[knews_hound]

Scott McClellan Out - Mr. Stick Figure In

As you all know, Scott McClellan submitted his resignation today. I want to thank Scott for his hard work and dedication, and wish him the best of luck.

 

 

 

It's my pleasure to appoint as Press Secretary Mr. Stick Figure. He's well informed, he speaks his mind, and I'm sure you'll all enjoy working with him. Stick?

 

 

 

Thanks, boss. You heard the man - Mumbly McMushmouth is out, Stick Figure is in, so let's get this show on the road. Let's hear from...

 

 

 

You...Four-eyes.

 

 

 

Me?

 

 

 

Not you, the other four-eyes.

 

 

 

Me?

 

 

 

What did I just say? Yes, you!

 

 

 

Oh, OK, I was just going to, um, I mean, I wanted to say, I mean to ask that, um...

 

 

 

Holy crap - spit it out, already!

 

 

 

Oh, sorry. Um, as you know...

 

 

 

OK, let's just stipulate that any question beginning with the phrase "As you know" is a waste of my freaking time, because if I already know, I don't need you to remind me. Sound like a plan?

 

 

 

I guess so. So, um, then I guess what I should say is, um...

 

 

 

All right, time's up, Zippy. We've only got three years left in this administration, and we can't spend all three waiting for you to form a complete sentence. Let's go to Mr. Pink-Shirt over here on the right.

 

 

 

Stick Figure, do you think Scott McClellan should have admitted he was wrong when he said that...

 

 

 

Again with this?? What are you, obsessed with the guy?

 

 

 

I think it's a reasonable question, after all, he was the press secretary for this administration, and he stated emphatically that...

 

 

 

The key word being was, OK? By now, he's probably working at the local Starbucks, so how about you head over there, grab a latte, and the two of you can continue your little domestic squabble over some banana nut loaf, huh?

 

 

 

You're avoiding the question, and the American people aren't going to stand for...

 

 

 

Whoa! Hold up a second there, sparky. In case you haven't noticed, there's a new sheriff in town, and he's not taking any crap from the peanut gallery.

 

 

 

But I asked a question, and I think you have a responsibility to...

 

 

 

Responsibility? Let's just review here - me, presidential appointee; you, Brian Williams office-boy. Now, despite the obvious difference in our social stature, I'm still willing to let you come in here and hang out with these other losers, so mind your p's and q's.

 

 

 

That's not...

 

 

 

Next! Let's hear from Lurch, down here in front.

 

 

 

Me?

 

 

 

The next person who asks that is out on his ass - yes, you!

 

 

 

This is nuts, you can't talk to...

 

 

 

Hey, Porny McSleazemouth, they warned me about you, and I'll tell you right now, I'm not going to stand for any talk about sloppy seconds, or nuts, or any other body parts, got it?

 

 

 

But, but...

 

 

 

Again with the body parts! OK, I warned you, now you're sitting this one out.

 

 

 

Oldie McFartson, what've you got for me?

 

 

 

I've reviewed six different polls on issues ranging from the public's opinion on...

 

 

 

Can you believe this guy? He's actually reading from a script.

 

 

 

...demographic studies, many of which concur that...

 

 

 

Does he think he's running for office or something?

 

 

 

Now, taking into consideration the economic disparity between many...

 

 

 

I'm just going to let him talk. ChromDome, you're up!

 

 

 

Mr. Stick Figure, as you know...

 

 

 

Wrong answer! Take that guy's press pass away, he's a loser.

 

 

 

Hairpiece! What's on your mind?

 

 

 

I don't wear a hairpiece!

 

 

 

Riiiiight, right. What's your question?

 

 

 

Stick Figure, after what I've seen today, I can't vouch for you.

 

 

 

Well, I don't remember asking you to vouch for me...

 

 

 

Seriously, I can't carry your water.

 

 

 

Carry my water? What does that mean?

 

 

 

This is outrageous. I'm a reporter for ABC, you know.

 

 

 

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't ask you to vouch for me.

 

 

 

I've hosted Nightline!

 

 

 

That's it, get it all out. Confession is good for the soul. Oh, I forgot - you're a reporter for ABC. Well, confession's probably good for you, anyway.

 

 

 

I don't have to take this crap from you!

 

 

 

BOR-ing! You, in the back - take your best shot.

 

 

 

Wouldn't you agree that the president...

 

 

 

Wouldn't you agree that the president.

 

 

 

Excuse me, wouldn't you...

 

 

 

Excuse me, wouldn't you.

 

 

 

What are you doing?

 

 

 

What are you doing?

 

 

 

Are you playing some kind of game?

 

 

 

No, I'm demonstrating the fine art of verbatim quoting. You bozos should try it some time.

 

 

 

All right, show's over, kids. Move along, nothing to see here.

 

 

 

I can't believe I made so many new friends in one day. I think I'm going to like this gig.

 

[Danae]

Thank you Scott for your service to this Nation, and for putting up with RAFTS of inane, stupid, pedantic and flat out assinine questions from the idiots in front of you every day!

Thank you Scott!

[Da Mav]

Can I put in a bid for John Bolton. Give him something to do besides wasting his talent at the UN, and he brings the kind of people skills to the job that I would love to see applied to the prima donas in the WH Press Corp.

[Danae]

I have seen that one before! Thanks for posting it again! Bloody Funny!

[STARWISE]

Agreed .. anyone who works in this admin. has to pass muster on the Boss's prerequisites: polite, NO sinking to the level of the mob, gracious, and mannerly .. even under the most rank cynicism and slimy attacks. This person represents the White House and the person who lives there, someone who exhibits his own good breeding in all his dealings.

[Bernard Marx]

Dan Senor is married to Campbell Brown.

Had no idea! If he's appointed through some stupidity I'll never be able to trust a word he says.

[PLOM...NOT!]

I would really like to see Mark Steyn in this position. What a hoot that would be! They'd make money selling ringside seats!

[ohioWfan]

Welcome to Free Republic.

Interesting analysis, that Rice will resign.

Where exactly did you come up with THAT one?

[Feiny]

Exactly. Ari was masterful at making them look silly. Scott was a letdown after Ari.....just about anyone would have been......BRING BACK ARI!!!!

[Da Mav]

OMG that was HILARIOUS! Fantastic job!

[STARWISE]

LOL .. and I didn't care.. apparently, she's colorblind .. and so wardrobe challenged at the time, but she's awesome.

[bcsco]

"Tony Snow too, but the media idiots would show him little respect, less than usual."

I'm concerned that his health, having just gotten over cancer, would be a major factor. It's not an easy job and requires mega hours.

I doubt Karen Hughes would be interested. I don't think she has any interest in returning to Washington. I just threw her name out as one who could take on the press corps idiots.

That's really what they need; someone to put these jerks in their place.

[ohioWfan]

The President is pure class. He wants graciousness and poise, and self-control.

Tony qualifies BIG time. Ann isn't even close.

[STARWISE]

Krauthammer would be great too.

Krauthammer is brilliant, but very physically challenged. Not a candidate for such a position, and very valuable right where he is.

[el_texicano]

Pit Bull...hmmmmmmm

I have it...Jack Bauer for WH Press Sec.!!! Talk about "Hold my Glock and watch this"!!!