Posted on 04/03/2006 7:35:42 PM PDT by stainlessbanner
Travelers on I-75 have a new diversion to break up those long drives to Florida.
“Need a laugh?” beckons a billboard overlooking Exit 212 in Locust Grove, south of Atlanta.
The sign directs motorists to the Tanger Outlet Center, where they’ll find the Foxworthy Store — an emporium devoted to Atlanta comedian Jeff Foxworthy and his buddies on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.
The store’s clever T-shirts, humorous hunting paraphernalia and novelties are built around Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” shtick — everything from camouflage camisoles for the ladies to a “redneck jack-in-the-box” that pops out of an outhouse.
The Foxworthy Store opened late last year in Locust Grove and two other outlet centers in Myrtle Beach. Business has exceeded expectations, and more locations are planned.
Entertainers have peddled their own merchandise since before Elvis met Colonel Parker, but few — if any — have had their names on an entire retail operation. While Foxworthy doesn’t own the stores, he licensed them and collects royalties.
The stores were the idea of Richard Gudzan, a Beaufort businessman who has created and sold Foxworthy T-shirts for years under the label Club Red.
Most of the one-liners on the shirts come from Foxworthy’s books, calendars and stand-up routine, which still includes a riff of redneck jokes.
Huntin’ and fishin’ account for most of the inventory, but there are plenty of other Southern-themed products — from Moon Pies to NASCAR collectibles to Waffle House shirts.
One thing shoppers won’t find is anything with a Rebel flag.
“We could sell millions of those,” Gudzan said, “but we didn’t want to be controversial.”
Gudzan wants your money, but won't support your Southern history
Egads..is that a STuckey's sign? Didnt know they were still around.
Don't forget your pecan loaf while at Stucky's.
You might be a redneck if you think Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
If you don't want our History then I reckon you won't want our money either. You might not be a redneck if you bend over and take it from the Southern haters.
Mr. Stuckey took some coffee on his roadtrip down I-75 and everywhere he had to take a pit-stop, he started another Stuckey's location.
Sorry, this heritage ain't for sale! The clothes don't make the man anyhow.
If he refuses to respect my heritage, I refuse to give him any of my money!
The Kentucky Redneck Engineer Challenge
We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called "smart" ass Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane ( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Kentucky shack and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a
Country-western singer?
I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya .... There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life. As an added bonus here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece ....
Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
I could do with a new bean bag chair and some cheetos. I've got coupons.
That is very good!
bookmark bump
I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't hve the ability.
Oh yeah, Stuckeys are all over the place. None around here (Richmond) that I know of, but there's a bunch along I-95 and I-85 through the Carolinas and into Georgia.
And as for this gent...I think I'd rather spend my money at a Dixie Outfitters store, thanks.
}:-)4
Redneck has nothing to do with 'Confederate'. Though Jeff Foxworthy has made it seem like 'redneck' is the same as 'Southern', I've learned that rednecks are everywhere!! You can find them in Central Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Maine and New Hampshire as much as in Mississippi and Alabama!
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