Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
Experts: Preachers' Wives Often Struggle.
So tie em down better.
I knew you would come around.
Many Christian dating/courtship books give women and girls the notion that they are a gift of high worth to their future husbands, but not the other way around. The attitude is, "You are bestowing a favor on him," and they carry this attitude into marriage.
I totally agree with your comment. Most women are taught that they are such a prize and never taught that they were created simply to be a help to a man.
So, do you think I can lose my salvation?
Some people aren't called to be married, but all Christians are called to esteem each other over ourselves (Philippians 2:3). These women with haughty attitudes probably act that way towards all people, not just men.
Hey, it was you that agreed with me. You made that call.
1 Peter 3:21 is another verse often used by the baptismal regenerationist. But notice carefully the actual wording and the context. Noah and his family were not saved by the water, but from the water of judgment. Their salvation came by being inside the ark, the ark being a figure or a type of the believer's salvation from judgment by being in Christ. In the 21st verse it says: "The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us." Baptism is here used to illustrate by way of a figure of speech the operation of God which takes place inwardly upon believing. The "figure" (baptism) speaks of our identification with Christ who has saved us-He was the "ark" of Noah's salvation. The salvation the sinner is afforded comes through His saving grace. The rest of the verse bears this truth out; it's not the putting away of the filth of the flesh (through ceremonial washings-a reference to Old Testament ritual), but the answer of a good conscience toward God. It is always heartfelt faith in the shed blood of the Lamb and in His glorious, bodily resurrection that renders the sinner justified before an all Holy God! Rom. 10:9; Heb. 9:14.
http://www.fundamentalbiblechurch.org/Tracts/fbcbaptr.htm
Miss Interpretation meet Miss Full Court.
Really FC, I had hoped better from you. A internet preacher? Please. Instead of you giving my your thoughts and beliefs on this passage, you had to resort to someone else.
Shoot, this guy would make Chubby Checker proud. He can twist and turn with the best of them.
I don't have the time right now, but I will be back later to give you my thoughts on this utterly amazing mischaracterization of I Peter 3:21. I don't blame you though...you just searched on the net until you found something that would refute me. That's fine. You still obviously agree with me since you stated someone else's position and not your own. You have had over 24 hours to find this one...I just would have thought you would have come up with something better. I guess I just had too high an expectation for you.
Apparently there is no talking to you - as they say, your heart is hardened and your ears are deaf. So, I will not attempt further to mention baptism and the need for it to you.
There has been plenty of documentation here of what the Bible says about baptism, even Jesus was baptised - but, lo, you choose to ignore those verses in the Bible. So, who can help you? You have re-written your Bible to exclude any need for baptism.
Take it up with God - you are beyond our help. Tell God there was no need to continually talk about baptism in the Bible - as you fully understand - He did not mean anything by it.
Me, I'm not willing to ignore it for my soul. Who am I to pick only those verses that said believe and you are saved and to choose to ignore those verses that say, repent, be baptised for the remission of sin and you will be saved. Surely they did not actually mean you had to do anything to show your acceptance of Christ and to cleanse yourself of your past sins. Surely.
From my experience I can understand the old adage: "My ex and I broke up for religious reasons. She thought she was "God" but I disagreed."
Boy, you got me there - I do not even know what you are talking about. Popery from Christian System? Never heard of this.
There is controversy in the Church of Christ over the music issue as there are controversies in all churches.
Controversies usually occur when an individual does not like the status quo, when pride takes over, or when individuals seek to please themselves and have an enjoyable service rather than concentrate on the purpose of the service - to worship God.
Every generation has had the young want to change things and every generation has changed things. However, Christians tend to hold to their beliefs and fear when others challenge those beliefs. I doubt many church members hearing of people discarding the long held beliefs and suddenly claiming they are not correct, will easily go along with it in any church anywhere. It is human nature where beliefs are concerned. They wonder why?
Here's a lenghty discussion about the ICOC excessive "shepherding" of their members.
http://www.angelfire.com/pro/kairosfocus/resources/ICOC_response.htm
That is totally untrue. I actually have a friend who has written for Foundation Magazine.
I just believe that he says it best.
Besides, Romans totally refutes your claim that your dead work of baptism is what bought salvation.
If you are trusting the local water company, you are not saved anyway.
David also?
Romans 4:6 Even as David also describeth the blessedness of the man, unto whom God imputeth righteousness without works,
7 Saying, Blessed are they whose iniquities are forgiven, and whose sins are covered.
8 Blessed is the man to whom the Lord will not impute sin.
What a horrible horrible thing to say.
Romans 3:24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus:
25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
26 To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus.
27 Where is boasting then? It is excluded. By what law? of works? Nay: but by the law of faith.
Is Romans not in the CoC bible?
The ICOC - International Church of Christ is in no way associated with the Churches of Christ. The Churches of Christ are each independent receiving oversight from designated elders in the congregation. There is no governing board of all Churches of Christ.
And how does that say - baptism is not wanted. You have never explained what you do about the verses that say be baptised. Do you ignore them?
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